Blah! Day Zero Again
"Meow. No, I am not a pup!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 269
Blah! Day Zero Again
Was supposed to be day 4. Got a bit psyched out when told day 4 would be hard. Then had to shop in supermarket w wine. And legs hurt too much, from last 2 days running and biking, to do any more exercise. Decided would go to AA meeting but none on in my tinpot town tonight! AND it is Tuesday AND a full moon. Bah humbug.
On a positive note:
1)Requested my soccer club get better non-alcoholic drinks (with suggestions)
2)Drafted non-offensive resignation from work social cub which is basically a booze-committee
3) Planned tea ceremony upon arrival at home followed by dog walk.
4) Texted web contact for AA meeting on Thurs to ask exactly where it is (soooooo do not wander around building going "Are you AA?" for my first ever meeting)
5) Realised I like drinks in pretty glasses so plan to get pretty glasses for nice non-alcoholic drinks
6) Have haircut after work tomorrow, followed by soccer practice so tomorrow is a safe day 1.
7) Going to move sobriety books from hidden places into my bedroom
8) Enquired re a full marathon in December.
9) Stopped at one bottle of wine
In some ways I think I needed to have last drink when not on bender...I hate not being normal...but I also love being me which is soooooooo not normal. Not making much sense and not feeling v drunk although am watching carefully as hit keys!
On a positive note:
1)Requested my soccer club get better non-alcoholic drinks (with suggestions)
2)Drafted non-offensive resignation from work social cub which is basically a booze-committee
3) Planned tea ceremony upon arrival at home followed by dog walk.
4) Texted web contact for AA meeting on Thurs to ask exactly where it is (soooooo do not wander around building going "Are you AA?" for my first ever meeting)
5) Realised I like drinks in pretty glasses so plan to get pretty glasses for nice non-alcoholic drinks
6) Have haircut after work tomorrow, followed by soccer practice so tomorrow is a safe day 1.
7) Going to move sobriety books from hidden places into my bedroom
8) Enquired re a full marathon in December.
9) Stopped at one bottle of wine
In some ways I think I needed to have last drink when not on bender...I hate not being normal...but I also love being me which is soooooooo not normal. Not making much sense and not feeling v drunk although am watching carefully as hit keys!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Lot's of positive things to do in your sharing...
and many of us had false starts on our way to solid sobriety.
Starting over on your journey is a wise move.
and many of us had false starts on our way to solid sobriety.
Starting over on your journey is a wise move.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Don't let people psych you out - we all run our own race - no-one else's recovery is exactly the same.
We all had false starts.
I like the way you're planning stuff.
You've got the right idea
D
We all had false starts.
I like the way you're planning stuff.
You've got the right idea
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 1,397
Hi Pupmom --
Well... today was "supposed" to be day 7 for me, but it's now day 2 all over again.
It sounds like you've made some progress being good to yourself -- and even MORE by coming back again today.
Keep reading and posting, because I'd love to make it day by day with you!
Oh and don't forget to turn in the resignation letter and enjoy your pretty glassware! As far as the latter goes -- PROMISE yourself to fill with non-alcoholic beverages only or they won't be as "special." I'm funny with things like this, too. lol
Well... today was "supposed" to be day 7 for me, but it's now day 2 all over again.
It sounds like you've made some progress being good to yourself -- and even MORE by coming back again today.
Keep reading and posting, because I'd love to make it day by day with you!
Oh and don't forget to turn in the resignation letter and enjoy your pretty glassware! As far as the latter goes -- PROMISE yourself to fill with non-alcoholic beverages only or they won't be as "special." I'm funny with things like this, too. lol
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Originally Posted by Dee74 
Don't let people psych you out - we all run our own race - no-one else's recovery is exactly the same.
Tomorrow is a new day and a new you! The positive notes are a wonderful thing to keep up with!
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 18
PupMum,
I read this on the web the other day and this woman's alcoholism. It struck a chord with me about the sincere desire to stop drinking and relapse. I will paraphrase below.
"She tried to quit, but her vows of abstinence were always short-lived. "It's amazing: You wake up every single day and say, 'That's it, I'm not going to drink anymore.'" But by four o'clock she knew she would have to take a drink that night. "Then I'd say, 'Well, I'm going to stop at two, or stop at three,'"... It can be hard for non-alcoholics to imagine the alcoholic's overwhelming desire to drink even when it's destroying life and health. Peggy tries to explain. "In the morning you say, 'I'm not going to drink.' Then you seem to hit like a blind spot in your brain, where you go on automatic," she says. "You're not thinking anymore, 'What about the kids? What about the marriage?'. . . You just hit this blank spot, and you go to the refrigerator, you open it, and you pull out that bottle of wine."
PupMum...I relate to her. It is very insidious. Keep Trying!!!
I read this on the web the other day and this woman's alcoholism. It struck a chord with me about the sincere desire to stop drinking and relapse. I will paraphrase below.
"She tried to quit, but her vows of abstinence were always short-lived. "It's amazing: You wake up every single day and say, 'That's it, I'm not going to drink anymore.'" But by four o'clock she knew she would have to take a drink that night. "Then I'd say, 'Well, I'm going to stop at two, or stop at three,'"... It can be hard for non-alcoholics to imagine the alcoholic's overwhelming desire to drink even when it's destroying life and health. Peggy tries to explain. "In the morning you say, 'I'm not going to drink.' Then you seem to hit like a blind spot in your brain, where you go on automatic," she says. "You're not thinking anymore, 'What about the kids? What about the marriage?'. . . You just hit this blank spot, and you go to the refrigerator, you open it, and you pull out that bottle of wine."
PupMum...I relate to her. It is very insidious. Keep Trying!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,504
It's often two steps forward and one step back. I think balance plays a big part in recovery for me. I try to maintain a balance in all parts of my life, not always successfully, but I'm always aware of it.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Pupmom, keep on trying, get to a meeting and get some phone numbers, you will be amazed how quickly the thought of a drink goes away when you call someone who has been right where you are at. I spent a lot of years with no one to call trying to battle the beast alone, it is far easier to battle him with support.
You are not alone, why fight the beast alone, there are tons of folks both here and in AA who are more then happy to help you.
Forget tomorrow, forget yesterday, just do not drink today.
You are not alone, why fight the beast alone, there are tons of folks both here and in AA who are more then happy to help you.
Forget tomorrow, forget yesterday, just do not drink today.
"Meow. No, I am not a pup!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 269
Thanks for all messages. Having happy cry while reading them (with my lemon juice and hot water). While disconnected ph for wine, had second message from alcohol program, I contacted via email, telling me to call her whenever I am ready.
"Meow. No, I am not a pup!
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 269
1) Now offered to do purchasing for non-al drinks for soccer club
2) Made appt with addiction services for Mon afternoon.
3) Decided like pretty glasses with stems which sparkle when filled with ... and that was baaaaaaaaad idea! Instead bought v modern stainless steel teapot and milk jug to go with gold rimmed cup and sauce my mother got for her 21st
4)Shattered after tough soccer practice. Yay! Also left purse behind so could not drink at clubrooms or buy drink on way home.
5) No response from text to AA contact. It is at a Y so figure can wander in my sports gear and feel comfortable looking for meeting if it is not obvious where it is.
6) Found box of sobriety books in garage while looking for shin-pads. Will move into house in weekend
7) Worked out I have spent around $1000 on wine each month ($US 750). Ouch! So, apart from tea stuff, justified buying some other things which I think will help when I get to that "What now?" moment - DVD of "Firehouse Dog" (kids movie which is so cute), Cookie tins to put baking in (to have with my tea), pre-teen books (they can hold my attention when my attention is wandering to what to drink now...)
Roll on day 2 (Am on diff time zone in case not obvious)
2) Made appt with addiction services for Mon afternoon.
3) Decided like pretty glasses with stems which sparkle when filled with ... and that was baaaaaaaaad idea! Instead bought v modern stainless steel teapot and milk jug to go with gold rimmed cup and sauce my mother got for her 21st
4)Shattered after tough soccer practice. Yay! Also left purse behind so could not drink at clubrooms or buy drink on way home.
5) No response from text to AA contact. It is at a Y so figure can wander in my sports gear and feel comfortable looking for meeting if it is not obvious where it is.
6) Found box of sobriety books in garage while looking for shin-pads. Will move into house in weekend
7) Worked out I have spent around $1000 on wine each month ($US 750). Ouch! So, apart from tea stuff, justified buying some other things which I think will help when I get to that "What now?" moment - DVD of "Firehouse Dog" (kids movie which is so cute), Cookie tins to put baking in (to have with my tea), pre-teen books (they can hold my attention when my attention is wandering to what to drink now...)
Roll on day 2 (Am on diff time zone in case not obvious)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
You've probably checked all this out pupmum, but the NZ AA site is at
Alcoholics Anonymous - AA help - alcohol abuse, dependency treatment & addiction
Not an AAer myself, but I know a few people personally who've emailled them and had replies (well the Auckland office anyway)
D
Alcoholics Anonymous - AA help - alcohol abuse, dependency treatment & addiction
Not an AAer myself, but I know a few people personally who've emailled them and had replies (well the Auckland office anyway
)D
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