obsessed

After I went back and reread my post and the replies, I realize that I take one step forward and two back sometimes when dealing with Lauren. I know that it is not good for either of us but sometimes I do want to believe her when I know deep down she might mean it right then but I always know she is leaving again and it is hard as hell when she comes home at 2am to tell her to leave but I do know it is not helping letting her come home to eat and sleep just to rest up and she is gone again. I keep thinking that one day she will mean it. I try to justify letting her come home only to do the same thing over and over with well it might be the last time I ever see her again, I do know I am not helping her with that part. I have not gave her money lately so I have stuck to that one and I will get this one down pat soon....I hope!! She texted today just to tell me she loved me. Why?? I don't have a clue!!!:wtf2

suki44883

Why?? Because she loves you.

BayAreaPhoenix

(((obsessed)))

She IS your child. I think the road you parents have to go with this disease is more than anyone should be asked to do.

You are doing great. Maybe you could do better? Only you know, but whatever you do, here are love, hugs and support!

:ghug3

greeteachday

((((Obsessed))))

I think our children mean it in their heart, but the disease has such a strong grip on them and the things they do. She does love you...her addiction doesn't though.
I think our recovery is always about steps forward and back, but you really are taking two forward to each one back. I know in terms of boundaries, I had to go slowly and only establish those i knew I could maintain. There was no use telling my daughter if she...(fill in the blank) she would have to leave, when I wasn't ready to enforce that.
We do the best we can, and you are doing fine. You and Lauren are in my prayers. Hugs

lightseeker

I so agree with Greet. Only make consequences that you are willing to keep. I feel like we are all feeling our way along in the dark. Sometimes when I feel like I am taking 2 steps backwards and really moving forward and don't know it yet. I think that the fact that you are posting is a clear sign that maybe you really aren't moving back at all. It's terribly difficult to deal with a child that is addicted. My MIL went to Alanon for 20 years and she still enabled....just couldn't stand in the place where she would have had to turn RAH loose. However, she made significant strides all along the way in her recovery that eventually contributed to RAH picking up a white chip in July 2005.

Be kind and loving to yourself - the same way that you would be to anyone else in your same shoes. There is no perfect way to do this.

serenityqueen

I'm a Recovering Addict/Alcoholic who put her parents, mainly Mom through hell all the years that I used.

Never, ever did I stop loving my Mom when she said no to something or laid down boundaries, but I usually knew that she wouldn't hold true to her word so her boundaries meant nothing. That sounds so awful, but it's the truth. My Mom would make some many promises/threats that I knew she wasn't going to stick to. So, make sure if you set a boundary that you are prepared to stick to your word. Otherwise, you've just wasted your time.

I have to say that now, with nearly three years in Recovery, I look back at the things I said and did, and it took a long time to get over the guilt and shame that I had for my behaviors.

God Bless the Parents, For We Don't Mean the Things We Do and Say . . . . .

Judy

caileesnana

Praying for your peace and Laurens safety until she has had enough.
I understand how hard it is,
susan