So far, so good for Day 2!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Larwill, IN
Posts: 22
So far, so good for Day 2!
Well, today hasn't been so bad (not like the last seperation was) and I think I'm doing really darn good. 
I updated my Myspace page and sent some pics to my 14 y/o daughter who lives about 40 minutes away. While browsing my computer for pics to send, I scrolled through at least 50-75 pics of AH, AH with me, AH with the kids, AH and I at the hospital when our son was born, etc.
I surprised myself when I realized that it wasn't tearing me up to look at them. I saw them, thought about how happy we looked in the pics, but how I knew it was only appearances. The drinking and verbal fights weren't that bad yet (in the older pics), but I knew in most of them...there was some "issue" we were dealing with.
The only time that I had something hit a nerve today was when my friend called to say he'd been in the gas station where she works and saw him driving like he was coming towards my house when he left. However, we live in a hicktown in Indiana, with 600 people or less and the only stoplight we have is cause a major U.S. highway is the "center" of our town. Not to mention that AH is staying less than 2 miles away from my house and the closest towns on either side are at least a 10 minute drive (at $3.91 a gallon today!).
That part didn't get me, but thought I'd clarify for those who have been worried about my safety. I guess when he walked into the station, she told him he looked like hell and said, "gee, what's the matter? Been up drinking all night, a*****e?" She said he hung his head and said no. Then he couldn't get his debit card to work and said something about the card being ********. She said she smiled nicely and said, "oh, you mean just like it's ******** owner?" My friend said he looked like he could bust into tears like a brokenhearted child at any second.
I was slightly sad about it, until I realized that he doesn't miss me...he misses the kids, our bed, our nice house, the luxury of satellite TV (they don't even have a TV where he's staying...lol!), the van, and probably my boobs. LOL! I've told him for months to be careful what he asks/wishes for cause he just might get it. Now, until he gets arrested for something (possibly the intimidation report I filed), he has ALL the freedom in the world. And I think it's great cause I do too, and I'm not sad, miserable, or crying. I'm glad that this nightmare is on its way to being over.
I have faith that someday, if he does ever quit drinking before it kills him or gets him life in prison, we may be able to be civil to each other and be able to "co-parent" our children. I'm not holding my breath though and only time (A LOT of time) will tell. For now, I'm happy with how things are...and while the kids were as hyper as usual, they seemed happier today.
I updated my Myspace page and sent some pics to my 14 y/o daughter who lives about 40 minutes away. While browsing my computer for pics to send, I scrolled through at least 50-75 pics of AH, AH with me, AH with the kids, AH and I at the hospital when our son was born, etc. I surprised myself when I realized that it wasn't tearing me up to look at them. I saw them, thought about how happy we looked in the pics, but how I knew it was only appearances. The drinking and verbal fights weren't that bad yet (in the older pics), but I knew in most of them...there was some "issue" we were dealing with.
The only time that I had something hit a nerve today was when my friend called to say he'd been in the gas station where she works and saw him driving like he was coming towards my house when he left. However, we live in a hicktown in Indiana, with 600 people or less and the only stoplight we have is cause a major U.S. highway is the "center" of our town. Not to mention that AH is staying less than 2 miles away from my house and the closest towns on either side are at least a 10 minute drive (at $3.91 a gallon today!).
That part didn't get me, but thought I'd clarify for those who have been worried about my safety. I guess when he walked into the station, she told him he looked like hell and said, "gee, what's the matter? Been up drinking all night, a*****e?" She said he hung his head and said no. Then he couldn't get his debit card to work and said something about the card being ********. She said she smiled nicely and said, "oh, you mean just like it's ******** owner?" My friend said he looked like he could bust into tears like a brokenhearted child at any second.
I was slightly sad about it, until I realized that he doesn't miss me...he misses the kids, our bed, our nice house, the luxury of satellite TV (they don't even have a TV where he's staying...lol!), the van, and probably my boobs. LOL! I've told him for months to be careful what he asks/wishes for cause he just might get it. Now, until he gets arrested for something (possibly the intimidation report I filed), he has ALL the freedom in the world. And I think it's great cause I do too, and I'm not sad, miserable, or crying. I'm glad that this nightmare is on its way to being over.
I have faith that someday, if he does ever quit drinking before it kills him or gets him life in prison, we may be able to be civil to each other and be able to "co-parent" our children. I'm not holding my breath though and only time (A LOT of time) will tell. For now, I'm happy with how things are...and while the kids were as hyper as usual, they seemed happier today.
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