Serenity8

I realize that in a year and a half of going to al-anon, I read literature and I pray... but I haven't "worked the steps". But I need to.

Tonight I emailed the woman who is? was? my sponsor. Told her I need to step up my program and wanted to work the steps and asked if she has time for me. If she doesn't, I need to find someone else.

So tonight I bought a new notebook to start journaling, something I've haven't done in a long time, and when I did it was to complain complain complain about AH. Why I wanted to start fresh, in a new notebook.

Where do I begin?

greeteachday

Step 1.. Do you have any of the Alanon step workbooks? They are a good start. I also have "A Woman's Guide through the 12 Steps" and Melodie Beattie's Codependent Guide to the 12 Steps. I find reading then going through the questions on the steps help get me focused. I don't necessarily answer everything...but it is a good guide and then my journaling can go from there. Your sponsor also will probably have some thoguths and ideas about how to start going through the steps together.

There have been some step threads here that Cat has done that are up in the stickies...that may be a good way to jump in.

Glad to hear you are ready to take another step in recovery growth...You deserve it!

Ann

I worked the steps with the guidance of a wonderful sponsor, years ago. I've worked them many times since and it changes as I change and my recovery grows.

Often when I have a problem, I call on one of the steps to see me through and work it again. I can't think of a single problem in life that any of the steps could not help me with.

It's a wonderful plan for living a happy and healthy life, too bad everyone doesn't have a 12-step program

Hugs

BJW

I'm pretty new to the program. Less than a year. I wasn't certain how to do it either, so I asked. My sponsor provided guidance and even some questions to answer. Others in my fellowship groups provided more insight and suggestions. I use more than one workbook. I use Melodie Beattie's 12 step guide and The Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions Workbook published by Co-dependents Anonymous. I also participate in a ladies 12-step study group. I wasn't certain how to answer any of the questions. I wasn't even certain what I thought or how I felt most of the time. It was suggested to me I simply begin. It was also told to me that my first go around with the steps will likely be answered from an intellectual perspective, but as I continue to work the steps over and over, I'll go deeper into the emotional and spiritual part of me that makes me.

I don't think there is a right or wrong way to work the steps. It's simply suggested that we do. I think your journaling idea is a good one, regardless of where your head and heart are or what the focus of your writing is.

Great question.
Good luck.

Spiritual Seeker

It does help to work the steps with someone the 1st time through.
Don't rush through them
Make a commitment to begin, one step per month, per week etc.
Keep the focus on yourself.
They are a vehicle for change if it is change you want.

Cougar

In recovery almost 5 years..Al-Anon...have been through the steps 4 times and currently working on another 4th step. I find that if I let too much time lapse before I work the steps over..I start thinking I've already done them, I don't need to do them again..etc....the alcoholic mind takes over and I'm lost.

My partner had 2 years+ sobriety until last Saturday. This situation is a real test of my program and my trust in my HP. I am still having my feelings, mad, sad, angry, pissed off...but I am not acting out. I am just having them, it sucks but it works.

I think he is using again tonight, it's after 2am and he's not home, that's a good sign he's high. I am powerless, I can't Step1. He can, Step 2, I need to get out of the way and let Him/Her/HP/Great Spirit get in there and restore sanity.

May the sun always shine on your shoulders and the path reach up to meet you as we Trudge this Happy Road to Destiny!

Stomping the Steps
Cougar

rahsue

I choose not to go to nar anon meetings, I'm really not sure why I don't go, I went to one and was not impressed, so I guess I didn't feel like looking for another one, anyway, I have the steps, I've read them and have applied them to myself, I agree with everyone of them I have accepted step one and two and continue to work on three however, I do not have a sponsor, I guess I need meetings to find one of those. I would love to have someone to sit and go over them with but without meetings there isn't one. How great the world would be if everyone did the steps.

marle

I find that even though I don't formally work the steps, life has a way of throwing lessons my way until I finally wake up and smell the coffee I have worked with a therapist that specializes in co-dependency and that helped along with a lot of reading and self-introspection, realizing that I am human and always trying to do the next right thing for me. Hugs, Marle

laurie6781

When I started with AA I was told about the steps, then worked them with my sponsor's aid and then started living them to the best of my ability.

When I joined Alanon at 3 years sober I again was told about the steps, and it was suggested by my Alanon sponsor that we go through them.

"What me? I've worked those steps. I now live those steps, why should I do them again?" roflmao

Well I did them again, with guidance and the workbooks and received a whole new perspective.

By doing them with a sponsor, I have then been able to learn to live them One Day At A Time.

So yes I work the steps.

Here are the "Principles" of those 12 steps which I try to live by daily:

Principles Of The Steps

1. Admission of powerlessness. / Honesty

2. Reliance on a Higher Power. / Hope

3. Total surrender to God. / Faith

4. Moral inventory. / Courage

5. Admission of the exact nature of our wrongs. / Integrity

6. Commitment to total change. / Willingness

7. Prayer for wholeness. / Humilty

8. Total willingness to amend. / Brotherly Love

9. Making amends where possible. / Reconcilation

10. Continuing inventory. /Perserverance

11. Prayer meditation, leading to improved conscious contact with God. /
Awareness of God

12. Spiritual awakening, carrying the message and practicing the
principles in all our affairs. / Service.


OR

THE PRINCIPLES ARE THE STEPS


1. HONESTY
2. HOPE
3. FAITH
4. COURAGE
5. INTEGRITY
6. WILLINGNESS
7. HUMILITY
8. BROTHERLY LOVE
9. JUSTICE
10. PERSEVERANCE
11. SPIRITUAL AWAKENING
12. SERVICE

As you can see the second one is a shorter version of the first one. The second one is the one I kept on a 3 x 5 index card in my purse and on the refrigerator that I could look at as many times a day as I needed to. It is still on my refrigerator, 24 years later, lol

Hope that answers your question.

Love and hugs,

sleepygoat

I was working them with a sponsor and a workbook in NA, when I realized my daughter was in deep doo-doo with her own disease of addiction. Now I have to work them again (and again, and again) from a whole other perspective. It was/is harder to admit powerlessness over her then it was to admit I was powerless over drugs. Harder to trust God with my child than with myself. But its still the same steps. My natural way of thinking and acting is in opposition to these ideas and principles. It takes constant 'work' or willingness - or else I just wind up in constant pain, and that motivates me too!

Chino

I'm going to write them down on index cards too, thanks for the suggestion. I print out a lot of stuff but when I need a quick reminder those papers aren't usually handy.

rahsue

after reading everyones post I realize something that I have been thinking alot about.
When working the steps it is very helpful to go back every now and then and read your own responses (I write everything down). I started working the steps only about 5 months ago (I'm still on step three) and I've just read steps one and two and what I did was added the date and updates after my initial responses. Wow talk about self help, I see what I thought and what I now think. Very very helpful.