Nikki221

I truly feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster in this relationship with my ABF. Some days are great and I'm happy, but then the next might be terrible and I feel depressed. My mood and outlook changes almost daily. My theory is that when things are good they are really good and when they are bad they are terribly bad. It's like there's no in-between...no moderation and it drives me crazy. I have my highs and lows and my ups and downs, but all I really want is some stability. I know that stability doesn't come with dating an addict though. Some days my boyfriend is really affectionate, then the next day I can come home from work and he barely says anything to me all night. Sometimes he pays more attention to our dogs than he does to me. It goes from one extreme to the next depending on the day. It's so hard to not think that it's me and something I'm doing, but I just have to remember that he is an addict and addicts are unpredictable. Anyone else going through this?

Jwife22

I WAS going through that. What helped me is to learn that my happiness doesn't depend on what he does. I mean, I pretty much had to learn to expect that I wasn't going to get what I wanted out of the relationship and I was just biding my time until I was emotionally ready to leave. I started doing things that I liked to do, like growing a patio garden and getting some reallllllly good books to read, going to lunch with friends, hanging out with my mom more and whatever the heck else I wanted to do.

I also just completely gave up any expectations I had for him because I WAS tired of the disappointment. It completely drained me of any and all energy and focus I might have had when that disappointment hit. It sent me into an emotional tailspin and into a depression that was hard to come out of.

Its HARD. Hit meetings, come here, read read read about recovery and find you that one person you can connect with and talk to that will help you get through it. (they have some of those at meetings .)

Mostly, be kind to yourself.

NEVEREnds

I have to say that I am on the same emotional rollercoaster, front seat, holding on tight. I was told once that I need to stop being good when he is good and bad when he is bad ... Our relationship is based on HIS mood, HIS day, HIS choices. If he is happy, I'm supposed to put on a happy face and smile and forget everything. Just as I do that, he slams me again and I'm back down in HIS dumps ... I have distanced myself from him to a point that I am not totally affected by HIS moods. I have begun going out more, doing less with him and just trying to be me. I spend ALOT of time with my lil nephews which make me TRULY smile. I am still learning, still drudging on and, most importantly, praying to GOD that I will get through this so I can find my true happiness and meaning in life which I don't believe is being married to an addict in denial and spending the rest of my life lonely and miserable.

I will be praying for you that we can all get off this rollercoaster ride already. ((HUGS))