marle

Well like I kind of figured, my daughter is mostly talk and no action on the rehab. We have been talking daily. I had purchased a phone card a long time ago for her to use in emergencies and as long as she was asking about rehab information I figured that I would refill the card one time. Last night she called and wanted to "shoot the sh*t". The card is getting low on time and so I very nicely told her that she could not call me everyday. I am happy with once a week, once every other week, etc. I told her to please not lose touch with me but right now I can't afford to continue to refill that phone card at the cost of $45 a pop. She, of course, acted hurt. This is the girl who has gone months without talking to me. She knows where the rehabs are, she knows we will give her a ride and so now it is up to her to act on it or not. She said last night that she is definitely going, she just doesn't know when. Oh the insanity of the disease. Hugs, Marle

Ann

Yup, it just gets old after a while when they don't put actions behind their words. Good for you for knowing when to put on the brakes and good for her for at least knowing that she is going to need help. My prayers go out that she finds it soon.

Big Hugs from "Been there, done that, bought the T-shirt"

marle

Ann, I feel that now she will punish me for not letting her abuse the phone cards and she will probably not call me for a while. It is always about her and what she can get. I do believe that she wants help but is afraid to take that first step. But I also feel that by allowing her to call me everyday, I am participating in the "dance of denial" so to speak. Hugs, Marle

hope213

i hope she makes the right decision but as we know we can not "make" them. continue to take care of yourself, that is all we can do.hugs & prayers,

helpus

Marle, I know it must have been hard to do, asking her not to call. But wow, your recovery is shining through. I'm sorry she hasn't gone yet, but at least her wheels are turning. Praying she will soon put her money where her mouth is.

mjpaao

(((marle))
Just wishing you peace of mind, I think you did the right thing. It amazes me how selfish our A's can be, and how they conveniently forget all the hurt they have caused.
Prayers that she will soon find her way to rehab.

sleepygoat

Hi marle,

I guess my daughter's been in the same 'stage' for a while. Good intentions followed by zero action - not only with getting clean but with many things such as paying us back the money she stole, calling her grandmother, and lately its been about getting a real job (I just play along, secretly laughing). But when she goes as far as to go into detox only to leave in a few days or even a few hours - that's crazy-making for me. So it may be a blessing in disguise that yours only says she will and doesn't actually go (yet) only to leave as soon as she gets there. that kind of stuff made me a basket case over the winter.
Unfortunately, this thinking about getting clean, saying you are going to clean soon, wanting to get clean, and then not really getting clean- can go on for years. Or not. It could be that yours is really reaching that point of true willingness and not acting on it until she is sure. No way to know. Sorry to hear yours is smoking crack now too, but for many addicts in recovery I know, the crack 'brought them to their knees' and into recovery, so that could be another blessing in disguise.
as far as the calling/not calling thing, yeah you are probably right; she'll punish you a bit. But in the end the lesson will be learned - she'll understand better that you are serious and it may lessen her own denial.
take care,
sleepy

Impurrfect

((((Marle))))

I'm sorry she is still all talk and no action, but I think YOU are doing awesome!!

BTW, I may have missed it, but how is hubby?

Hugs and prayers to your family!

Amy

Jwife22

((((marle))))

I haven't been posting but i've been following your threads. I'm sorry that Megan isn't taking that final leap into rehab.

You sure are doing GREAT. You are so strong and so good to recognize behaviors that you've deemed unhealthy in the past.

Big hugs and prayers to you and Mr. Marle and also to Megan that she will soon find her way.

marle

Amy, Thanks for asking. Sometimes I forget my husband in all of my daughter's hullabaloo Hubby has a job starting Monday for a local construction company driving truck. He was just about getting ready to go to Indianapolis for training when the other job came through. I am so thankful. We both cried tears of gratitude. It would have been so hard to be separated for 6 weeks while he trained and then after that who knows. Hugs, Marle

caileesnana

I think you absolotuely did the right thing. I'm sorry, but maybe she will continue to think and/or God will intervene some other way.
prayers my friend,
susan

Done_With_It

I agree you are doing awesome. Her time will come when she is ready~

cmc

Your recovery is tops, marle!

bookmiser

Tell me about it....

(((((Marle))))))

She'll go when she's ready. You are probably feeling pretty "baited" now.
I would. Sorry, sweetie. It is truly a insane disease.
Ya did good, though. I knew you would.

Sending prayers, hugs, and love out to ya.

marle

Linda, Not really baited. More resigned since I did not get excited about the prospect to begin with. I know that I am at the point where whether she goes or does not go does not make a whole lot of difference in my day. I think not having had a front row seat for almost 2 years has made a big difference for me. It has allowed me to find a life without her. I would love to see her try but if it is not her time, it is not her time. I figure life will catch up to her eventually and then maybe someone else will be making the choices for her. In the meantime, I am gearing up for the end of school, planting the garden and fishing Hugs, Marle

Impurrfect

((((Marle)))

Glad hubby got a job with a LOCAL company!!!

You are truly an inspiration to me in how you deal with things. A couple weeks ago, I freaked out about my tickets I have to pay, and figured I was going to jail. Luckily, Anvil reminded me to BREATHE. I thought about how all of YOU would handle what was going on, and hopefully, on Tues. my tickets will be paid for and one more consequence will be resolved. I'm not even worried about being broke again...I know I'll be okay, because I see you and the others here go through much worse and come out okay.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

greeteachday

I'm sorry she isn't quite set yet, but you really did well by not dancing. And I am so thrilled by how HP worked the deal on your hubby's job...How cool is that? Enjoy Spring...you and Megan remain in my thoughts and prayers.

Lobo

Marle,

I admire your strength. I don't think I could have done that, in fact I know I couldn't have. Remember every flower will bloom in it's own time.

Hugs..............Lo

ctrom40

Marle,

I also admire your strength and wisdom.
What will be, will be.

You (and Mr. Marle) will be OK.

Hugs,
Colleen