obsessed

My 19 yr old AD Lauren has been home a little over a week, it has been ok her being home again, just different. She has been in a decent mood, only a couple of arguments, nothing major!! She has to be the laziest child EVER!!! I have asked a couple of times that she needs to look for a job but she never does!! We were at the grocery store last night and I asked her when she was going to grow up and let me live my life!!! She looked at me so funny!! Lol..never got an answer!!! A lady I work with has been trying to set me up on a blind date with a friend of hers so she emailed a picture of him and I was shocked!!!! So hopefully soon I will get brave enough to move on with that part of my life!! I just odn't want to drag somebody in the world of addiction to ANYBODY so I just don't date!! And it is getting old!!! 8

ex D-Boy

glad to hear that your daughter moved back in and is trying to stay away from drugs. Just a bit of information from me ( former heroin addict) When I was first getting clean, the first week or so I did NOTHING but watch dvds in my room and eat. Its very normal for early recovery for the addict to do basically nothing however, don't let her push the "im recovering from a serious drug addiction" for TO long, then it becomes just another form of manipulation of her just not wanting to move on with her life. I do hope you keep pushing the job issue though, not only will she feel better by interacting out there with normal people not high but she will feel a bit of self accomplishment that somebody is depending on her to do a job (no matter how small it may be).

Wishing you the best and your daughter as well. keep us updated

Impurrfect

I'm glad Lauren is home, and it appears not using, but I agree with ex....if you let her get away with doing nothing, that's exactly what she'll do. She is old enough to have a job AND pay rent...it doesn't have to be much, but she needs to learn that you don't have to support her anymore.

Remember, there is much more to recovery than just stopping the drugs. In fact, that's the easy part. What's hard is learning to face the struggles of daily life (work, bills, etc.) and not pick up.

I hope you DO go out on a date.....you deserve to live a life that's not absorbed with Lauren or addiction. Detaching and focusing on yourself doesn't mean you don't love Lauren. In fact, it means you love her enough to let her discover what SHE wants from life, and go for it. If she doesn't want to do anything, but hang around the house and depend on you, then you both have some work to do. Having a job, paying bills has been a HUGE self-confidence booster for me!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

suki44883

OMG, obsessed! You are living MY life! LOL

hello-kitty

Is Lauren getting help for her addiction? Or is she just taking a mini-break from it...

Done_With_It

Why is she back home? You haven't had enough yet?

Said with love obsessed.

I've seen Mom's have heart attacks, and I
have seen them almost commit suicide, I've heard many more things
as bad as that said in pm's because of their obsession over their kids
addictions. How far are you going to go?
Are you going to die for Laurens meth addiction?

Again said with much love.
But I worry about your more than (or just as much) I worry about Lauren at this point.

caileesnana

Hi obsessed,
I am glad Lauren is alive and OK. However, I will say from MY experience, if she is not active in meetings, w/ a sponsor, working the steps, etc. she is only a "dry drunk". not using, but still w/ all the behavior.

2-3 times I let my AD back w/ all the hope in the world, and she used all the right words, actions, tears, and it blew up in my face. I'm sure there are success stories, just not mine.

you are in my prayers.
love
susan

greeteachday

I'm glad your daughter is okay, but I am worried about you. Your life still totally revolves around her...How is your recovery going? What are you doing for you? Lauren has to find her own way.

Sadly, the answer is when you stop letting her get away with acting like a young child and she takes responsibility for her own actions and can't come and go as she likes with no consequences. I know it is hard but if nothing changes nothing changes...for both of you.

Done_With_It

Ditto..