Made it through 1st court date!!! ;-)
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 123
Made it through 1st court date!!! ;-)
Hey All,
Thanks for the thoughts and prayers for my court date.
I made it through, I didn't get out as easy as I hoped but she didn't get what she wanted either. I've got to pay some attorney's fees for her and temporary alimony.
Her lawyer tried to make me out as controlling for my stance against her alcoholism, I think I handled it well, of course he tried to rattle me.
He made the statement that I liked to control my wife and on the night we split that I was angry she had defied me my drinking. I told him "No, my issue with alcohol was not a control issue, it was a boundary I'd set for myself that I would not stay in the marriage if she continued to get drunk. It had nothing to do with controlling my wife."
The lawyer was not sure what to say in response, so he said "no further questions".... :-)
I feel good right now, I'll admit - I was scared to death of what might happen! But it went OK, I've got to come up with some money that I don't have but other than that it was 'fair'. AMEN AND THANK YOU LORD!
Peace and blessings all!
TD
*** On a side note, what a horrible job as a divorce lawyer to make someone seem evil without knowing them. He tried like crazy to pin me down and make me out to be a horrible person. I don't think I could sleep at night if I was him.
Thanks for the thoughts and prayers for my court date.
I made it through, I didn't get out as easy as I hoped but she didn't get what she wanted either. I've got to pay some attorney's fees for her and temporary alimony.
Her lawyer tried to make me out as controlling for my stance against her alcoholism, I think I handled it well, of course he tried to rattle me.
He made the statement that I liked to control my wife and on the night we split that I was angry she had defied me my drinking. I told him "No, my issue with alcohol was not a control issue, it was a boundary I'd set for myself that I would not stay in the marriage if she continued to get drunk. It had nothing to do with controlling my wife."
The lawyer was not sure what to say in response, so he said "no further questions".... :-)
I feel good right now, I'll admit - I was scared to death of what might happen! But it went OK, I've got to come up with some money that I don't have but other than that it was 'fair'. AMEN AND THANK YOU LORD!
Peace and blessings all!
TD
*** On a side note, what a horrible job as a divorce lawyer to make someone seem evil without knowing them. He tried like crazy to pin me down and make me out to be a horrible person. I don't think I could sleep at night if I was him.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
I'm glad you're through it, and it sounds like it went pretty well. I think your response to the lawyer was fantastic!!!
Now, maybe, you can put your focus on YOU and what you want from life
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Now, maybe, you can put your focus on YOU and what you want from life
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by TDinATL 
I don't think I could sleep at night if I was him.
Maybe a few drinks for a nightcap after his few drinks with dinner and a few more while watching the game.... Yes he maybe gets some sleep *LOL*
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Wasn't is Shakespeare who suggested we kill all the lawyers? You did great, TD! Saying you had boundaries must have left him rattled - LOL!!! A healthy response to a divorce attorney - and he couldn't handle that! I LOVE IT!!!
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Join Date: Apr 2004
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*** On a side note, what a horrible job as a divorce lawyer to make someone seem evil without knowing them. He tried like crazy to pin me down and make me out to be a horrible person. I don't think I could sleep at night if I was him.
That is 'her' reality not the 'real reality.'
I guess I have just learned not to be so judgemental and look at all sides of a situation, and he was doing his job.
Sorry it didn't go as well as you hoped, but am very glad it didn't go as bad as you thought it might.
Love and hugs,
P.S.
I told him "No, my issue with alcohol was not a control issue, it was a boundary I'd set for myself that I would not stay in the marriage if she continued to get drunk. It had nothing to do with controlling my wife."
play the tape all the way thru
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 480
Originally Posted by TDinATL
*** On a side note, what a horrible job as a divorce lawyer to make someone seem evil without knowing them. He tried like crazy to pin me down and make me out to be a horrible person. I don't think I could sleep at night if I was him.
)
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 902
First...Congrats on your court date going well!!!
Second...in defense of the lawyers of the world...don't take it personally. He really is just doing his job. I can honestly say from a lawyer's perspective, and I'm not a divorce attorney, if a client had come in and said someone put their hands on them (they being a woman and you being a man), I would think the same thing of you if I didn't have the full story. Also, I know you sent her an email saying you did not regret it. He undoubtedly read that. The point being, he is her advocate. He cares nothing about you. His job is to get her what she is seeking. Is it slimy? Yes! BUT he would not be doing his job if he didn't use that evidence against you.
Second...in defense of the lawyers of the world...don't take it personally. He really is just doing his job. I can honestly say from a lawyer's perspective, and I'm not a divorce attorney, if a client had come in and said someone put their hands on them (they being a woman and you being a man), I would think the same thing of you if I didn't have the full story. Also, I know you sent her an email saying you did not regret it. He undoubtedly read that. The point being, he is her advocate. He cares nothing about you. His job is to get her what she is seeking. Is it slimy? Yes! BUT he would not be doing his job if he didn't use that evidence against you.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 123
:-) I know, I know, he's just doing his job for his client... I just didn't care for it being directed at me! In his shoes I'd think the same thing of me I'm sure, my AW can be quite convincing as a victim.
I think he tried to segway into the email you mentioned, NYC Chick, he asked me if I thought I acted appropriately that night and I said "Yes" he paused and asked again and I said, "Yes sir, in the circumstances I acted as appropriately as I could." This was after we'd both told our versions of what happened. I imagine the fact that what I said didn't contradict the email probably helped me. I was told this would be their key piece of evidence but it wasn't even mentioned.
I really prayed this up, and many others were praying with me, I simply prayed for God's justice and fairness. He came through for me as he always does!
Thanks for reading my posts and sharing with me, SR has been instrumental in my healing process.
I think he tried to segway into the email you mentioned, NYC Chick, he asked me if I thought I acted appropriately that night and I said "Yes" he paused and asked again and I said, "Yes sir, in the circumstances I acted as appropriately as I could." This was after we'd both told our versions of what happened. I imagine the fact that what I said didn't contradict the email probably helped me. I was told this would be their key piece of evidence but it wasn't even mentioned.
I really prayed this up, and many others were praying with me, I simply prayed for God's justice and fairness. He came through for me as he always does!
Thanks for reading my posts and sharing with me, SR has been instrumental in my healing process.
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