blitzen

i really am quitting this time. i looked up AA meetings in my area and im confused about some things. for those of you that go, maybe you can explain. what is the difference in these meetings: open discussion, closed discussion, closed speaker, step study, open step study, closed BB women, closed women, closed beginners...it just goes on and on. im feeling a bit overwhelmed. i wanted to find a meeting to go to tonight and ....i don't even know where to begin.

please tell me that these terms make sense to you and that maybe you can help me figure it out. im tired. and im tired of being sick. and i live in the freaking desert. (thats not really related, but i hate that too. so i wanted to throw it in there. )

im really trying here, and i hate that these meetings don't make any sense to me right now. how do i know which one to go to? and will they make me talk? will they talk to me? or will they just let me be? what if i don't want to go alone? is it ok to bring a friend thats not an alcoholic , just for support? i know im flooding you with questions....but ....the questions are a big step for me...if that makes any sense at all.

ugh. i suddenly feel even more lost than before. please help me understand this so that i really can help myself. i can do this one thing...i just need help doing it. (i know that sounds pathetic, but at least its the truth.).....

Anna

Hi Blitzen,

You can always call your local AA number from your phone book, if you want more information about the meetings.

Hopefully others will be along who can answer your questions for you.

I am glad you are seeking help.

sugErspun

Closed meetings - alcoholics only
Speaker meeting - basically a 'listening' meeting, someone is already assigned to speak
Participation - everyone in attendance can share or not share
Discussion - usually a topic related to 12 steps is discussed
Men/Women - gender specific meetings (men only, women only)
Step Study/Big Book study - topic and shares are specific to a particular step
Beginners - tailored towards those who are new to AA.

You don't have to talk, very normal for a newcomer to say little more than their first name.

Feel free to just sit and listen - it's quite alright.

oh - your friend can go to any open meeting (closed meetings are for those who are alcoholic or think they may be alcoholic)

Dean62

You just described AA and everyone in it.

blitzen

i don't know why...maybe because im seeking help...but now im more scared of the meetings. ive always assumed that they aren't for me. is it ok to try it on my own with my brother here to make sure i don't need to go to the hospital in the withdrawal period? (not sure ill have any problems at all, but as i haven't been sober for more than .....maybe.... one day at a stretch over the last year...im really not sure. i don't know how it works.) but...is not going to meetings.. like quitting smoking without a patch? it works for some people , but not for most? is it better to try the meetings? i don't like ... crowds. and i don't like people to talk to me that i don't know. especially about this.

this is... shameful for me. i was just trying to be....i don't know. part of the "in crowd" i guess. then i stopped hanging out with them and continued drinking alone. first a six pack a night..then a twelve pack...and now a 30 pack lasts me a day and a half. (yeah. you're right. i totally cant afford this AND 4 dollars a gallon for gas!!) im out of control, but those people at the meetings...haven't they all lost something? like their families? im 26. my family is still here. no kids. no husband to lose. i just moved to stupid Odessa Texas so i don't even have any friends to lose. just....ugh. ive only lost...me. is that enough for the meetings? i don't want to go and feel like i drink more than they do....yet ive lost less. it will make me feel so out of place. can i just lock myself in the apartment (give my brother my keys and bank card so i cant buy liquor on my own.) and wait it out? does it go away?

i know this is so super lame. im really wanting help this time though and i don't know if i can handle failing once i tell my brother. whats more humiliating than failing in front of your big brother?? (he he. im sure lots of things are, actually. but this is my parade. don't rain on it! im the princess here in this thread!) ooooh yeah. um. im kind of sarcastic. oh. did i say "kind of"? i meant...."im ALOT sarcastic."

blitzen

that makes me happy to hear. thank you. really. dang. see, if we all lived in the same city this would be...well...not easy...but at least it would be fun! is there a board here to play games and other mindless distractions to get me through the next couple of days?? (or weeks. whatever....im very competitive. games will help i think.)

edit: sorry i double posted. i wasn't paying attention. just replying to the comment that was left before my last post sent and ...ya know. i hope this isn't one of those mean forums where people are jerks and throw fits about silly things like that.

Rella927

Blitzen Glad that you are seeking help! Please keep posting here it helps too-

Ang102

Post as much as you want. I have found posting my feelings has really helped. Read lots of the other postings - it so helps. May have had me in tears as I can so relate to them. Keeping yourself busy is the best thing you can do.

Anna

Blitzen,

AA works for many, but there are other ways to stay in recovery. You should do whatever works for you.

Emimily

adam summed up the meetings well... you can bring a buddy to an open meeting any time. closed meetings are limited to those with the desire to stop drinking. big book studies go through the basic text called Alcoholics Anonymous, nicknamed the big book. step studies focus on one of the 12 steps and probably come out of the 12 steps and 12 traditions book. women's meetings are just as it sounds - for girlies. and i'm rehashing exactly what adam said, haha...

i know it's a lot of information, but the most important thing is that you're asking for information! any meeting you go to, if you say you're new, you'll be so welcomed it'll blow your mind. i have some friends out here who got sober in texas, and they loved the AA scene there. there are some really amazing people you'll meet in the rooms... it's been my experience that the family i made for myself in AA has supported me no matter what. they've loved me when i couldn't love myself, they've played indispensible roles in my self-discovery as well as my sobriety, and they are SO MUCH FUN. imagine if all your craziest drinking buddies got sober - that's my family in AA.

best best best of luck, and just go. you won't know what it's like until you just bite the bullet and go.

CarolD

You might want to have an honest talk with a doctor
before abruptly quitting, Be both safe and sober.

Good to see you again...

DES

I went to my 1st meeting last week. They were going around the room sharing. When it was my turn I just said that I'd prefer to just listen and they moved on. I didn't feel any pressure to speak.

Doug

blitzen

well im at the end of day two. its not fun by any means, but i hoping it wont get any worse. i feel physically ill most of the time, but im trying to fill my time with things i dont normally do to reduce cravings. so far so good. dont know if its related or not, but my head feels all foggy. like im on cold medicine or something. its annoying. at least im making it. this is the furthest ive ever made it. im pretty proud of myself!!

barb dwyer

good for you!