crisco

I need a sponsor badly but I need some serious advice on how do it right, I do not have good social skills and to go open AA meeting and ask for a sponsor is daunting

Rusty Zipper

hey crisco, if your one of the blessed ones...

a good sponsor will find you!

stop, look, and listen!

good wishes crisco!

rz

kj3880

Me too, crisco! I've been going to meetings for 7 weeks now and still haven't found a sponsor. I'm shy.
kj

Negative Man

Crisco,

The first step is already done: Knowing that you need one. Good for you.

The second thing to do: Put the word out there. When you go to meetings, go twenty minutes early and stay twenty minutes later. In conversation, tell people that you're looking for a sponsor. Just say, "I don't have a sponsor and I need one. If you think of anyone, could you let me know?" It would be especially helpful if you told the secretary before the meeting.

I'll be if you do that in three meetings, you'll find one. Be sure to take phone numbers and give your own out. Someone will call.

Let us know how it goes, okay?

-- NM

Negative Man

KJ and Crisco... Another way is to simply call the AA main office. They'll find someone for you. Go to their website and make the phone call. That's what the main office is for.

Main AA Headquarter: (212) 870-3400

Website: Alcoholics Anonymous : Communication with G.S.O. <br>by Region or Service Activity

Rock on.
-- NM

Imagine

What you are learning here is a very important part of your recovery. How to honestly ask for help. Start by looking for a friend that has all ready found a sponsor. Who knows, that my turn out to be your sponsor. Good luck, this too will work out.

tennis71

Hey Crisco and KJ,

One thing that works and is fairly easy to do is to approach the meeting chair person before the meeting and ask them to announce that you need a sponsor. This is a good way to let other people in the meeting know that you need some help. They will generally approach you and start up a conversation at an appropriate time.

If your not comfortable with that kind of attention at this stage in your sobriety, then try volunteering to help clean up after or set up for meetings. This gives you a good chance to meet some others in the group without committing to much.

Either way, you are moving in the right direction and that is a good thing.

Keep posting and take it a day at a time!

CarolD

To understand sponsorship....
in most meetings ...on the free literature rack is

"Questions and Answers on Sponsorship"

It's the official AA guideline.

For me...Step work was the begining of solid recovery.

Imagine

I came into the program 1/2/1996. My addiction had kick my ass, and I was ready for a new way of dealing life. Finding my sponsor was a gift to me, coming into the rooms I didnot believe in friendships. I always seen it as you wash my back, and I wash yours kinda thing. My first sponsor just reinforest that believe. My second sponsor just wanted to know what I wanted to do about my problem, and how could he help. Working the steps with him I came to believe in friendship for the first time in my life. Living this program gave me hope in a better life, one with real happiness. I'll never forget my first birthday, people a year earier I didn't know and would not have care to. But after going to meeting, having phone meetings that last sometimes for hours, and just sharing war stories. That night I felt I found where it is I belong. I went from there to improve my life, going back and getting my GED and going to Tech school and getting a job with a real furture, would have not happen if I was not working this program. That hope for a better life makes you do things you would not nomally do. This all started with asking for help. Excuse me for sharing twice, I just felt the need to share what happen after working the program alittle while.

mle-sober

Crisco,

I think that that is *EXCELLENT* you are looking for a sponsor. Sometimes, just opening that "gate" in yourself makes it happen. I know that's not how it always works. But, for me, it was pretty amazing. The very week that I began thinking I needed to get a sponsor, I found myself talking during a break in a meeting to a woman who had a very serene face and personality. She was older than me and I admired her instantly. And all I did was open my mouth and out came the words, "Do you sponsor people?" She said yes and smiled. I said, "How long have you been sober?" And she said, 22 years. I asked, "Will you sponsor me?" And she said yes and we set a time and place right then and there.

I really didn't know I was going to ask her. It just tumbled out of my mouth. And I'm so glad. She's perfect for me.

Good luck. I'm sure that you will find the right sponsor. And I know it doesn't always happen as easily as it did for me but it *will* happen for sure.

- MLE

Negative Man

I just want to second something that Imagine said: Finding a sponsor is about asking for help. For me, that was a really difficult thing. I was brought up to not ask for help. I was expected to solve my problems on my own... So, asking for help was hard. And at the same time, it was really simple. I just asked.

If there's someone at your meetings who seems particularly wise, just go up to them and say "I'm looking for a sponsor. Could you help me find one?" They'll get the ball rolling.

Dean62

That's exactly how it happened to me. (except the her is a he)


Something to keep in mind. There are many people at meetings who want to be sponsors. They are just waiting for you to ask. Helping others through sponsorship keeps and improves many peoples sobriety.

Help somebody stay sober and ask them to be your sponsor. :ghug