question?
[†]ѕну-ѕмаllz[†]
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: bowmanville
Posts: 10
question?
I know someone can apilogize for what they have done, to his or her family but can they recover on their own with out help.. example: I said my father if he was going to get help with he recovery and he told me " no I can do it on my own" can someone do that if they have the alcoholism illness...? I know that me and my mum can help but is he really able to recover on his own with out help from a professional without relapsing?.......
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Minneapolis, Mn. Minnesota Alligator Controll
Posts: 286
Yes, BUT the idea of recovery is to completly
turn your life around, this is a lot easyer with
AA, sober takes on a new meaning,
and a person can learn to be happy
again, without drugs like alcohol.
turn your life around, this is a lot easyer with
AA, sober takes on a new meaning,
and a person can learn to be happy
again, without drugs like alcohol.
[†]ѕну-ѕмаllz[†]
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: bowmanville
Posts: 10
is there any advice to maybe convince my father to get help from a professional because I know he is stuborn becasue I m just like him, I like to do things on my own, I wonder if i ask him to get professional help that me andmum would to and we all would work together with gettin the treatment we need to throw away the dysfuctional family we all have been living with....
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
((((littleone))))
In my opinion, no, I do not think it is possible for someone to be in Recovery without help.
If someone isn't in need of medical detox, then there is a pretty good chance that he can go for a few days, maybe weeks or even longer without drinking. But all of the thoughts, behaviors and actions that lead up to his drinking in the first place will still be there. There are several names for this but I call it a dry drunk.
Many times in my attempts at Recovery, I could stop the drinking, but when all the thoughts began swirling around in my head, it was too overwhelming.The way I had to quiet these voices in the past was to drink. So now, without the alcohol to turn the volume switch down, the voices telling me what a worthless piece of crap I was, that I was a failure and always will be . . . simply got louder and louder.
A dry drunk still has the same behaviors of blaming everyone else,( If you lived my life, you'd drink too. You made me quit drinking and I'm still not happy.What the hell do you want from me?") being defensive ("I quit drinking, now leave me alone." ) Levels of patience will more than likely be at an all time low, the simplest things become a huge irritant.
There are several more examples that I could share but I hope you get the idea. Have you and your Mom ever been to Alanon? It's a place to go to help you deal with the situations revolving around your Dad's drinking. Addiction is a family disease, everyone is effected as I'm sure you are quite aware.
You used the word professional. Not everyone needs the help of a psychiatrist or a psychologist. But AA is one of the many support systems out there that don't cost a dime. There's meetings several different times of the day in many different locations.
Stick around,keep reading and asking questions. Just know that you can't fix your Dad, you can't make his alcoholim go away. This is something he has to do for himself.
God Bless,
Judy
In my opinion, no, I do not think it is possible for someone to be in Recovery without help.
If someone isn't in need of medical detox, then there is a pretty good chance that he can go for a few days, maybe weeks or even longer without drinking. But all of the thoughts, behaviors and actions that lead up to his drinking in the first place will still be there. There are several names for this but I call it a dry drunk.
Many times in my attempts at Recovery, I could stop the drinking, but when all the thoughts began swirling around in my head, it was too overwhelming.The way I had to quiet these voices in the past was to drink. So now, without the alcohol to turn the volume switch down, the voices telling me what a worthless piece of crap I was, that I was a failure and always will be . . . simply got louder and louder.
A dry drunk still has the same behaviors of blaming everyone else,( If you lived my life, you'd drink too. You made me quit drinking and I'm still not happy.What the hell do you want from me?") being defensive ("I quit drinking, now leave me alone." ) Levels of patience will more than likely be at an all time low, the simplest things become a huge irritant.
There are several more examples that I could share but I hope you get the idea. Have you and your Mom ever been to Alanon? It's a place to go to help you deal with the situations revolving around your Dad's drinking. Addiction is a family disease, everyone is effected as I'm sure you are quite aware.
You used the word professional. Not everyone needs the help of a psychiatrist or a psychologist. But AA is one of the many support systems out there that don't cost a dime. There's meetings several different times of the day in many different locations.
Stick around,keep reading and asking questions. Just know that you can't fix your Dad, you can't make his alcoholim go away. This is something he has to do for himself.
God Bless,
Judy
Live, Laugh, Love
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Between Fenway and the Beach!
Posts: 1,301
Hi Littleone...i think that everyone is different when it comes to recovery. My exboyfriend tried to convince me that he could do it on his own, i knew in the past that on his own he only lasted 6 months.
He also tried to convince me that he could be a "social drinker". I told him AA was the only way i would stay with him. Not sure his status but i think they definatley have to be ready to do it themselves and no one can convince them otherwise. Just my experience.
hugs to you.
He also tried to convince me that he could be a "social drinker". I told him AA was the only way i would stay with him. Not sure his status but i think they definatley have to be ready to do it themselves and no one can convince them otherwise. Just my experience.
hugs to you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Sometimes a stubborn person needs to be shown how to get help. If you and your Mom work on your own recovery (and yes......those associated with an alcoholic need to recover too!) through Alanon or counseling, you will be doing what is best for YOU and showing your father HOW to get help. Leading by example might be the best way to deal with a stubborn man.
gentle hugs
gentle hugs
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Littleone 
I also believe that they need to be ready to do this for themselves-When we take care of ourselves i.e. our own recovery whatever that might be (Al-Anon, counseling) and take the focus off of them we learn how to deal with this disease a lot better IMHO.
We can hope and pray when they see what we are doing for our own well being that it is possible they will get the help that they need too. And with the tools we learn to take care of ourselves with we can cope whatever the outcome.
Recovery has to be what HE WANTS in order for it to happen-
Praying for you! Keep posting it helps!
I also believe that they need to be ready to do this for themselves-When we take care of ourselves i.e. our own recovery whatever that might be (Al-Anon, counseling) and take the focus off of them we learn how to deal with this disease a lot better IMHO.
We can hope and pray when they see what we are doing for our own well being that it is possible they will get the help that they need too. And with the tools we learn to take care of ourselves with we can cope whatever the outcome.
Recovery has to be what HE WANTS in order for it to happen-
Praying for you! Keep posting it helps!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Hi Littleone-
You can't convince an alcoholic to do anything!
Two things you can do - but then you have to just let it go and he has to do what he will do - is you can give him the telephone # to AA. Just say - here, these people know what you're going through and can help. Or suggest he start with an honest visit to the doctor - if he can go to his GP and be truthful about how much he drinks and that he'd like to stop, then his doctor should have some good ideas for him.
But again - all you can do is suggest - say a prayer - and then let it go. Do not get your hopes up!
My father had a 25-26 year drinking career under his belt when he finally sought out AA and got sober/recovered. After a few years of sobriety he told me there was NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING anyone could have done to get him to stop.
That is true for every alcoholic/addict. It has to come from them. The day he finally stopped for good was, to my eyes, just a normal bad hangover day, like it didn't follow after any of his worst, drunken episodes of behavior. He did however, finally use the piece of paper my mother had slipped him with the AA tel # on it that he had kept in a box on his dresser for 7 years before using it!
Good Luck Little One!
Peace,
B.
You can't convince an alcoholic to do anything!
Two things you can do - but then you have to just let it go and he has to do what he will do - is you can give him the telephone # to AA. Just say - here, these people know what you're going through and can help. Or suggest he start with an honest visit to the doctor - if he can go to his GP and be truthful about how much he drinks and that he'd like to stop, then his doctor should have some good ideas for him.
But again - all you can do is suggest - say a prayer - and then let it go. Do not get your hopes up!
My father had a 25-26 year drinking career under his belt when he finally sought out AA and got sober/recovered. After a few years of sobriety he told me there was NOTHING, absolutely NOTHING anyone could have done to get him to stop.
That is true for every alcoholic/addict. It has to come from them. The day he finally stopped for good was, to my eyes, just a normal bad hangover day, like it didn't follow after any of his worst, drunken episodes of behavior. He did however, finally use the piece of paper my mother had slipped him with the AA tel # on it that he had kept in a box on his dresser for 7 years before using it!
Good Luck Little One!
Peace,
B.
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