$60 phone call!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
$60 phone call!
Well, I just had to share the latest.
We are "splitting" the house-hold bills. That's fine. He's an auto mechanic BTW and even charged me half for changing the oil in the car! Yep.
I've been to an atty. as most know. I'm paying the bills, he's my rep. AH doesn't have an atty. so there were 2 charges directly for him on my bill. One for a phone call the other to prepare and send out the paperwork for the divorce. $60 charge each. I knew when I deducted these items from what I was reimbursing half for I'd hear about it - and sure enough. I'm not going to pay $60 for talking to YOUR atty.
blah blah blah. It went on, and in a way I think I suckered in, but I don't really remember because I wasn't trying to get anywhere. I know I'm not going to get anywhere. There is no common sense thinking going on. He kept saying, I don't have an atty. because I'd rather give YOU the money. And then he did say he knows he'd never fight me over anything!
WTF? The price of the house? The couch? The prints? The bookshelf? The ... the list goes on and on. At that point I had to say goodbye, I knew he was in his "mode". He was in his own world, whatever that was and nothing I was going to say was going to make a difference. Nor did I care to make a difference.
I'm not giving him the $60 - if $60 is going to break him, how is going to double the mortgage?
Anyhow, that's the latest -
We are "splitting" the house-hold bills. That's fine. He's an auto mechanic BTW and even charged me half for changing the oil in the car! Yep.
I've been to an atty. as most know. I'm paying the bills, he's my rep. AH doesn't have an atty. so there were 2 charges directly for him on my bill. One for a phone call the other to prepare and send out the paperwork for the divorce. $60 charge each. I knew when I deducted these items from what I was reimbursing half for I'd hear about it - and sure enough. I'm not going to pay $60 for talking to YOUR atty.
blah blah blah. It went on, and in a way I think I suckered in, but I don't really remember because I wasn't trying to get anywhere. I know I'm not going to get anywhere. There is no common sense thinking going on. He kept saying, I don't have an atty. because I'd rather give YOU the money. And then he did say he knows he'd never fight me over anything!
WTF? The price of the house? The couch? The prints? The bookshelf? The ... the list goes on and on. At that point I had to say goodbye, I knew he was in his "mode". He was in his own world, whatever that was and nothing I was going to say was going to make a difference. Nor did I care to make a difference.
I'm not giving him the $60 - if $60 is going to break him, how is going to double the mortgage?
Anyhow, that's the latest -
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
It's always troubling times trying to sort out the money and responsibility at the end of a relationship, because emotions are painful even when ending a relationship is the right thing to do. Often the room was empty long before the door was closed.
My initial thoughts on this are that your lawyer costs really are not his responsibility and I tend to agree with him on this issue....but then I realized that it's probably not really about THIS issue, it's just an emotional tug of war that we all can play when we hurt.
So my wiser thoughts are to let your lawyer handle all this, that's what you pay him for, and let go of the frustration of trying to do this on your own. You deserve peace in your life and once you get through closing this chapter of your life, there will be new happier days ahead.
Hugs
My initial thoughts on this are that your lawyer costs really are not his responsibility and I tend to agree with him on this issue....but then I realized that it's probably not really about THIS issue, it's just an emotional tug of war that we all can play when we hurt.
So my wiser thoughts are to let your lawyer handle all this, that's what you pay him for, and let go of the frustration of trying to do this on your own. You deserve peace in your life and once you get through closing this chapter of your life, there will be new happier days ahead.
Hugs
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
(((((CW)))))
Hang in there...Sometimes just breathing is one of the most important things...Remember there is light at the end of the tunnel. You are taking the steps you need to take to find a happier life. It won't always be a smooth clear path, but step by step you are getting there. Hugs
Hang in there...Sometimes just breathing is one of the most important things...Remember there is light at the end of the tunnel. You are taking the steps you need to take to find a happier life. It won't always be a smooth clear path, but step by step you are getting there. Hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,287
As Ann said, you will soon be on to happier days.....keep those thoughts in your mind.
As for your STB exH, he seems very good at deflecting things towards you. I have been reading your posts and notice he has a tendency towards this type of manipulation. I think you have noticed too. For example, he says he would never fight you over anything while he is fighting with you over a phone bill!!
Hang in, you will soon be there.
As for your STB exH, he seems very good at deflecting things towards you. I have been reading your posts and notice he has a tendency towards this type of manipulation. I think you have noticed too. For example, he says he would never fight you over anything while he is fighting with you over a phone bill!!
Hang in, you will soon be there.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
Yep - Deflection is the name of the game. He is a master!
The atty. is going to put it into his court to do the next step - so you know we'll be hanging in this little purgatory for a while again, but the atty. has a plan and I agree with it - so I'm just letting him do his thing.
As for the atty. fees - AH had to call my atty. to ask questions that if he had had his own atty. he wouldn't have had to ask, same thing with the paperwork - and again not a big deal, but if he's going to charge me for half an oil change when he's a mechanic and owns his own shop... But, Ann's right, it's more than the $60 - And, obviously the point was not made or taken. (boy, if he only knew how much I have paid the atty.! this man is expensive - always has been!) So, I just was amazed, and not at the same time, at the audacity more than anything. The self-righteousness, etc.
It is laughable at this point. I knew what was coming, and he reacted as expected. I see that with his thinking he is probably a lot further down the addiction path than I even really have a clue on based on reactions I get to situations.
I am on my way tho - a healthy, happy life (but not problem free) is just around the corner! I am determined!
Thanks All - you guys are the BEST!
:ghug
The atty. is going to put it into his court to do the next step - so you know we'll be hanging in this little purgatory for a while again, but the atty. has a plan and I agree with it - so I'm just letting him do his thing.
As for the atty. fees - AH had to call my atty. to ask questions that if he had had his own atty. he wouldn't have had to ask, same thing with the paperwork - and again not a big deal, but if he's going to charge me for half an oil change when he's a mechanic and owns his own shop... But, Ann's right, it's more than the $60 - And, obviously the point was not made or taken. (boy, if he only knew how much I have paid the atty.! this man is expensive - always has been!) So, I just was amazed, and not at the same time, at the audacity more than anything. The self-righteousness, etc.
It is laughable at this point. I knew what was coming, and he reacted as expected. I see that with his thinking he is probably a lot further down the addiction path than I even really have a clue on based on reactions I get to situations.
I am on my way tho - a healthy, happy life (but not problem free) is just around the corner! I am determined!
Thanks All - you guys are the BEST!
:ghug
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