Stormy1119

Ugh,

How do you do it w/o feeling the need to totally get obliterated.

I've just had my heart damn near broken a couple seconds ago. All i want to do right now is get smashed... i'm not going to.

Its taking every bit of strength in my body.

Cause I know as soon as I take that first sip I won't care anymore and I wont' be sad.

I don't like being sad, I don't like having my heart broken. WTF cant this pain just go away.

ANGELINA243

:ghug3You did the right thing by posting how you feel. I felt the same way yesterday--it is posted on my blog here. If I can do it--so can you. The support here helped me make it through without getting messed up. Hang on! You are not alone--i was heartbroken, sad, angry, felt completely helpless/hopeless yesterday>but today is a new day>cause I made it through without drinking/using.

Stormy1119

Thank you.

The one thing thats keeping me from drinking is what an ass I make of myself when I drink. No doubt I'd probably call him, or someone else and make it worse. I wish I could just have a few drinks to relax and forget it.. but with me I know that won't happen. The whole damn bottle will be gone.. and I will wake w/ shame not knowing who I called or msg and cussed out and made a complete butt of myself.

least

I have the same problem. I'm not used to 'feeling' my emotions so deeply. I'd been drowning them for the last year and now they're back in force. I do know that drinking won't help me, it will only make me feel worse.

I pray you find the solace you are looking for.:ghug

marshalldillon

Good to have you here, i find it best to walk through my difficulties because you will learn something from it, and don't give no one even your flesh control on you your decisions. nothing last forever it is usually only for a moment in time.

Hope

I went through this yesterday and I got through it without drinking.

I know you will get through it too. Yes, it's very painful to feel. But drinking will only make it worse. You know the alcohol will wear off and you'll wake up tomorrow with this same pain and have a hangover on top of that. Alcohol will only triple your pain and prolong it.

Use this as an opportunity to grow. It will strengthen you and your recovery by making it through this.

Hang out on here. You are not alone. Keep talking it out. It really helps. We are all here to listen.

ANGELINA243

I can relate completely..word for word with what you just said. Yep, been there, done that. Just keep thinking "what measures can I take today that will prevent those things from happening yet again".

Hevyn

Stormy there's nothing to be gained by anesthetizing yourself against your feelings. The hurt will still be there waiting for you when you sober up, & you'll be disgusted with yourself for caving. Let yourself feel the pain, you only prolong it when you drink & don't face it. It can't stay like this forever, you will come out into the sunshine again.

Stormy1119

Wednesday I made a list of all the completely idiotic, embarrassing, hurtful things I've done while using... just knowing that if I use there is the potential for one of those things.. or something worse to happen.

Anna

Hi Stormy,

You are doing the right thing and I'm glad you realize that drinking would make it worse. I used to think I couldn't cope with things that came along, and I always ended up making things much worse.

You'll be stronger for getting through this.

1963comet

Dang It, Always makes me sad to hear news like this.

But if you drink or what ever it will only make it seem worse. Alcohol is a depresent and will only make you more down.

Maybe you can go out and get yourself a little something instead of spending money on drinking. just an idea.

Luckyv2

I just read this in the NA It Works How and Why and I highlighted the one part of the paragarph

That is why we used so much is we didn't want to deal with the way that we were feeling. Most of the time it was to escape from ourselves. I know that I thought that the steps or anything else like a God should just fix things and not make me feel the pain, happiness, anger, etc but today I have found that those feelings help us to grow and to become the person that we were meant to be.

I used to always want that quick fix to cover up everything and it seemed to work for quite sometime however that time ran out. I now have to deal with living life on life's terms and it isn't always pleasant. Is a matter of fact there are days that just suck! To be nice so we are in a this recovery process to learn how to deal with issues sober and clean! That is what we are here for and you are doing it! You are facing it! That is the miracle. Blessings to ya!