katie44

Its been approx. a month since I cut off AS. Prior to that I had let him borrow my cell phone ( not a smart thing to do). In the last week I have been receiving text messages with some very threating messages. They are coming from an unknown ID #. I know these are meant for AS eg. we want our money now f----head!!!, If I were you I would hide, the list goes on. One even left a voice message " Your dead we want our money" I have called the police and they say there is nothing they can do as they are coming from blocked numbers. Sure there drug dealers, they change phones like they would there socks. There only advice was to change my number. AS phoned yesterday and I told him about these messages of course he knows nothing about them. I have heard he is not staying at his room, who knows where he has been. I know I am supposed to let him live his life the way he has chosen. I am sick about these messages and very angry. Obviously he owes a great deal of money to someone and he is in a lot of trouble. Does the chaos ever stop?

Impurrfect

The chaos stops when he wants it to.

I'm sorry about the messages you're getting, but there really isn't anything you can do about it. He got himself INTO the mess, he will have to get himself OUT of it.

Keep taking care of you. That's the one thing you DO have control over.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Bernadette

hey katie44
Wow. Heavy.
Just reading that gave me chills. You need to lose that phone number fast! You know you cannot do anything about your son's debts so don't subject yourself to that horrible harassment.

Part of me is so distrustful of A's behavior I thought - maybe your son wants you to see those messages so you'll call him and ask him wth? and offer to help him, and get swept up in the drama again.

The chaos stopping? For them, in active addiction, no.
For us, in recovery from codependency, yes! The pain will not stop - we love these difficult people after all. But the chaos we can absolutely opt out of.
Major (((HUGS))) to you k44- and prayers for your peace of mind--
Peace,
B.

cece1960

I have to admit my mind went there also.
My AS had his hand in pretty shakey stuff and somehow came out of it in one piece.
There's not a thing we can do but give it up to our and their HP. Its the best place for your AS to be.
Mom (((Hugs)))

idahoone

Katie44,

I am sorry for the messages but I have to tell you- I went to the same place as others above me because my son did something very similar when using and we gave him several thousand dollars to pay this person off and now I know we were funding his habit and giving him a start up for his dealing. Our addicts are manipulative and will truly do whatever they have to do when they are in active addiction.

Do whatever you have to do to keep serenity in your life.

Take care,

hello-kitty

Hi Katie, I had to change my phone number to stop the crazies from trying to reach my ex through me. At first I refused. I was just being stubborn. I finally realized my peace of mind was more important than some stupid phone number - even if I did have it for years. Looking back, I just wish I would have changed it sooner. The peace and serenity are absolutely 1000% worth it.

Good luck.

marle

Change your number and then turn your phone off when you go to bed. Nothing is so important that it can't wait until the morning. You really must take care of yourself. And I would not put it past an addict to get someone to call so that you think he owes a dealer and then you give him the money and he gets drugs. Even if he does owe a bunch to a dealer, that is still not your problem and he will find a way to deal with it. He found a way to get his drugs, didn't he? Hugs, Marle

bookmiser

((((((((((Katie))))))))))

I agree with everyone. Change the phone number.
There is no reason that you should be getting these calls to your phone.
Gosh! I remember when my son was on house arrest. (very short time. he used. i sent him back to jail) The phone rang and some guy asked for him.
I told him that he wasn't allowed on the phone. That he was in trouble.
Can you believe I said that? My son was, what, 23 years old at the time?
The guy said he knew. He said he was a friend and was trying to talk some sense into my son and wanted to help keep him outta trouble.
I thought, "wow! What a nice guy."
Gave the phone to my son.
Yep! You guessed it. It was his dealer who wanted money that my son owed him. Or so that's what he told me when he got off the phone.
Stupid me, paid the dealer off cause my son said he threatened to come to my house when Jay was alone and **** him up.
Looking back...
It was a deal that my son set up with the guy. He didn't owe him money.
Just wanted a score and knew I would pay for it if he gave me a good lie.:chatter
I am so very glad I found sr then. If I hadn't, I don't know what would have happened to my son. Or me for that matter.
Anyway, you need to keep yourself safe no matter what.
Sending prayers that the craziness that's going on in your life right now, goes
away and your son finds the path to recovery soon.
Don't stay away so long next time. Keep coming back.
Hugs,

Lobo

I would guess that a lot of us have a similar story. My daughter said she was being threatened and her roommates were being threatened and they didn't even do drugs.
In other words they would take everyone down if she didn't pay up. Yep, I did it, gave her the forty dollars she needed to make this right and no one would get killed over it.

She went right out and got high. I learned again the hard way. No, I never did that again. All I can say is live and learn.

Take care of yourself............Lo