Living life in recovery :)
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
Living life in recovery :)
I've been sober since October 5, 2007. (Have not touched a drop of alcohol or drug since then). After my last binge in October and nearly getting arrested for a drunken humiliating scene I made. I've been using Smart Recovery as my recovery program and I've also been attending AA meetings for the fellowship.
However, I still feel like something is "missing" in my life. I recently told my AA sponsor that I'm ready to get back to my step work. I started working the steps a few months ago but both my sponsor and I got swamped with life stuff so we temporarily stopped communication.
But we recently started communicating again and she asked me if I was ready to get back to my step work and I said I was ready.
I am ready to get back to my step work. But in a way, I'm scared to death because I will have to face truths about myself that I'm scared to death of. Even though I'm scared and afraid, I'm still moving ahead with it.
I am grateful for my sobriety. I am glad that I finally realized that recovery was more than just reading and thinking, it involved ACTION and making necessary changes in my life. I had to change everything. Including cutting off contact with a man I loved and avoiding contact with several family members. But it has paid off because I am finally sober and I haven't been sober this long since I started drinking/using.
In the past months I've been in school, I've made new sober friends and left all my drinking friends in my past. I'm going through a lot in my life but I'm sober and facing everything head on without running away from it.
I'm a long way from being the person I want to be, but each day I am getting closer and closer.
However, I still feel like something is "missing" in my life. I recently told my AA sponsor that I'm ready to get back to my step work. I started working the steps a few months ago but both my sponsor and I got swamped with life stuff so we temporarily stopped communication.
But we recently started communicating again and she asked me if I was ready to get back to my step work and I said I was ready.
I am ready to get back to my step work. But in a way, I'm scared to death because I will have to face truths about myself that I'm scared to death of. Even though I'm scared and afraid, I'm still moving ahead with it.
I am grateful for my sobriety. I am glad that I finally realized that recovery was more than just reading and thinking, it involved ACTION and making necessary changes in my life. I had to change everything. Including cutting off contact with a man I loved and avoiding contact with several family members. But it has paid off because I am finally sober and I haven't been sober this long since I started drinking/using.
In the past months I've been in school, I've made new sober friends and left all my drinking friends in my past. I'm going through a lot in my life but I'm sober and facing everything head on without running away from it.
I'm a long way from being the person I want to be, but each day I am getting closer and closer.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
I just heard this today.
"Here's the good news. You don't know what you don't know."
So that means that you can open yourself up to listening and learning from others.
Sometimes we think we have all the answers ourselves. But sometimes the more we know, the less we know. So we have to humble ourselves and remain teachable and listen and grow.
"Here's the good news. You don't know what you don't know."
So that means that you can open yourself up to listening and learning from others.
Sometimes we think we have all the answers ourselves. But sometimes the more we know, the less we know. So we have to humble ourselves and remain teachable and listen and grow.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
Maybe I should keep this thread updated as I journey through recovery. I can talk about the good and bad (my experiences).
I'm not sure that I have a whole lot to offer but in some ways I do because I'm sober. That shows that it is possible. (especially when you are struggling).
I applied for a loan for school today and the loan was declined (even with my co-signer). I panicked. That's my only avenue of paying for college.
But... I didn't give up. I went and applied for another loan (and a lesser amount) and it got approved! Now I should have the money for college this summer!
I'm not sure that I have a whole lot to offer but in some ways I do because I'm sober. That shows that it is possible. (especially when you are struggling).
I applied for a loan for school today and the loan was declined (even with my co-signer). I panicked. That's my only avenue of paying for college.
But... I didn't give up. I went and applied for another loan (and a lesser amount) and it got approved! Now I should have the money for college this summer!
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
(((Cheryl))))
Good job and so proud of you! Yes we can do this deal and it isn't always pleasant like you said but we can face things sober and clean. I too have the most clean time that I have ever had. If I am able to make it to the 25th of this Month without using I will have two years!
The main thing is today though. All those other days don't mean squat if I don't stay into action today. Good for you!
Love ya!
8
Good job and so proud of you! Yes we can do this deal and it isn't always pleasant like you said but we can face things sober and clean. I too have the most clean time that I have ever had. If I am able to make it to the 25th of this Month without using I will have two years!
The main thing is today though. All those other days don't mean squat if I don't stay into action today. Good for you!
Love ya!
8
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
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Hey Vic!! ((((Vic)))
We'll be right here celebrating with ya on the 25th for your 2 year celebration! Those one day at a times add up, don't they?
That's right, we have to stay into action today. Yesterday's recovery won't keep us sober today. Just like today's recovery won't keep us sober tomorrow. We have to keep working at it.
I am amazed that I've been sober this long. I originally signed up for SR in 2004 and I struggled so much. I finally got it though!
There is ALWAYS hope!
We'll be right here celebrating with ya on the 25th for your 2 year celebration!
Those one day at a times add up, don't they?That's right, we have to stay into action today. Yesterday's recovery won't keep us sober today. Just like today's recovery won't keep us sober tomorrow. We have to keep working at it.
I am amazed that I've been sober this long. I originally signed up for SR in 2004 and I struggled so much. I finally got it though!
There is ALWAYS hope!
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 521
I'm a long way from being the person I want to be, but each day I am getting closer and closer.
I like to say: Im not the person I want to be.....but thank God Im not the person I used to be.
Peace and hugs to you in your step work. Im currently working through a 4th step...scares the beejeebers out of me sometimes too...I dont always like the stuff this step brings up, or trying to figure out how to deal with it......but if its the price of admission, Ill pay whatever it is I have to.
I like to say: Im not the person I want to be.....but thank God Im not the person I used to be.
Peace and hugs to you in your step work. Im currently working through a 4th step...scares the beejeebers out of me sometimes too...I dont always like the stuff this step brings up, or trying to figure out how to deal with it......but if its the price of admission, Ill pay whatever it is I have to.
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Congrats on the sober time Hope!!!
Before I worked my 4th and 5th I was scared as well, working with a sponsor is key to working the steps.
Keep in mind that the truth will set you free!!!
There are a lot of folks in AA that never work the steps, some stay sober, some don't.
I am so grateful I did my 4th and 5th, many things I learned about myself were not things I liked, many are things I felt guilt and shame over, there were resentments. In a nutshell my inventory allowed me to see me for who I was at that time, it allowed me to see who I owed amends to, my flaws that I needed to work on, who I needed to forgive, including myself. There were a great deal of secrets I had carried for a long time.
The 4th taught me who I was and what I need to change, it showed me the baggage I carried that was dragging me down. The 5th freed me form a great deal of that baggage, not all of it, but a lot. 6 & 7 allowed me to work on ridding myself of my basic defects of character which without doing a 4th & 5th step I would not have been aware of them all, 8 & 9 allowed me to rid myself of almost all of the baggage that I had been dragging around, many of the people on my step 8 list I had on my 4th step inventory, but I added others that I owed and made amends to.
Do not let pride or ego stand in your way, the steps I can honestly say were the most freeing thing I have ever done in my life, not easy, but well worth it.
If some how the freedom of the steps could be physically shown to folks they would be more then willing to do them with glee, but many folks due to their pride, ego, arrogance or what ever will dream up every excuse under the sun why they are "Different" and either can't do them or simply won't do them.
The steps have set me free not only from the obsession for alcohol, ut also from self.
I am ready to get back to my step work. But in a way, I'm scared to death because I will have to face truths about myself that I'm scared to death of. Even though I'm scared and afraid, I'm still moving ahead with it.
Keep in mind that the truth will set you free!!!
There are a lot of folks in AA that never work the steps, some stay sober, some don't.
I am so grateful I did my 4th and 5th, many things I learned about myself were not things I liked, many are things I felt guilt and shame over, there were resentments. In a nutshell my inventory allowed me to see me for who I was at that time, it allowed me to see who I owed amends to, my flaws that I needed to work on, who I needed to forgive, including myself. There were a great deal of secrets I had carried for a long time.
The 4th taught me who I was and what I need to change, it showed me the baggage I carried that was dragging me down. The 5th freed me form a great deal of that baggage, not all of it, but a lot. 6 & 7 allowed me to work on ridding myself of my basic defects of character which without doing a 4th & 5th step I would not have been aware of them all, 8 & 9 allowed me to rid myself of almost all of the baggage that I had been dragging around, many of the people on my step 8 list I had on my 4th step inventory, but I added others that I owed and made amends to.
Do not let pride or ego stand in your way, the steps I can honestly say were the most freeing thing I have ever done in my life, not easy, but well worth it.
If some how the freedom of the steps could be physically shown to folks they would be more then willing to do them with glee, but many folks due to their pride, ego, arrogance or what ever will dream up every excuse under the sun why they are "Different" and either can't do them or simply won't do them.
The steps have set me free not only from the obsession for alcohol, ut also from self.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
When you hear people speaking of the steps in a meeting listen carefully to see if they have actually worked the step/steps or are simply giving thier opinion.
Most people who have worked a step when sharing on the step will usually but not always say something to indicate they have actually worked the step with a sponsor. Opinions are like armpits, every one has a couple and some of them stink!
We should share our Experience, Strength, & Hope, if one wants Opinions drive on down to your local tavern and belly up to the bar, you can hear tons of Opinions! LOL I know when I was drinking almost every word out of my mouth was Opinion spoken as though I had done it all!!!
Most people who have worked a step when sharing on the step will usually but not always say something to indicate they have actually worked the step with a sponsor. Opinions are like armpits, every one has a couple and some of them stink!
We should share our Experience, Strength, & Hope, if one wants Opinions drive on down to your local tavern and belly up to the bar, you can hear tons of Opinions! LOL I know when I was drinking almost every word out of my mouth was Opinion spoken as though I had done it all!!!
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
I appreciate all of the support. It is encouraging!
For some reason, these past couple of days, I've felt alone even though I've been around people. I was in a crowd yesterday and I felt so alone.
It has just been for the last few days though. I don't know why.
For some reason, these past couple of days, I've felt alone even though I've been around people. I was in a crowd yesterday and I felt so alone.
It has just been for the last few days though. I don't know why.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
How can something go from good to bad so fast in the blink of an eye?
I wish I didn't have feelings or emotions and didn't have to hurt.
I always screw things up with people I care about.
I wish I didn't have feelings or emotions and didn't have to hurt.
I always screw things up with people I care about.
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