What to say to a child about drugs?
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Join Date: Mar 2008
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What to say to a child about drugs?
My husband is a recovering addict and I experimented a little in my early 20's (just wasn't my thing.) My question for some of you is:
What will you tell your children about drugs when the topic comes up? I have heard two sides to this:
1. Tell them you did drugs--be honest, explain your experiences, let them ask questions. They may feel more open and willing to talk to you.
2. Do not tell them about your past. They will think that if "mom and dad did drugs and are now ok" they will be as well. They also look up to parents.
My husband feels like he wants to be honest with our child so that she will know all the bad that can happen. I feel that she should not know. I know she's just a baby now, but we both feel strongly about this. I don't want her to think she'll be ok if she tries it (especially since addiction like this can run in the family.) I think it's ok to tell a "white lie" or not to mention our past drug use at all and to send her a clear message--NO DRUGS.
Just been mulling this over in my head a bit.
Thoughts?
What will you tell your children about drugs when the topic comes up? I have heard two sides to this:
1. Tell them you did drugs--be honest, explain your experiences, let them ask questions. They may feel more open and willing to talk to you.
2. Do not tell them about your past. They will think that if "mom and dad did drugs and are now ok" they will be as well. They also look up to parents.
My husband feels like he wants to be honest with our child so that she will know all the bad that can happen. I feel that she should not know. I know she's just a baby now, but we both feel strongly about this. I don't want her to think she'll be ok if she tries it (especially since addiction like this can run in the family.) I think it's ok to tell a "white lie" or not to mention our past drug use at all and to send her a clear message--NO DRUGS.
Just been mulling this over in my head a bit.
Thoughts?
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Hummmmm, how old is your daughter, may I ask?
At what age does he want to tell her?
My son is 19 now, but, unfortunately, I have used a lot longer than he has been alive. He has seen it all first hand and thank God he is extremely anti drugs, anti alcohol, anti smoking cigs, ect.
I know some addicts/alcoholics kids go down the same path that their parents did. I am so grateful that Brandon didn't and I seriously don't think he will ever, ever try a drug. I asked him about six months ago if he had ever had a drink, beer or alcohol. I know a great deal of kids, sorry, young adults his age do drink. His response brought tears of sorrow and joy to my eyes, "Uh, no Mom, and I never will. I saw what it did to you and Dindy" (Dindy being my little sister who died from chirosis of the liver at age 26 when Brandon had just turned 2. He couldn't say Linda, so he called her Dindy)
I think when she is at an age where kids are beginning to experiment, seriously about 12 years old, I would be honest. Let her know though what her Daddy went through as a result of his addiction. If lung cancer ran in your family, wouldn't you want her to know in hopes that it would deter her from smoking?
This is a great topic for discussion. I hope that you and your Hubby can find an agreeable answer that will be of benefit to your daughter. Thanks for sharing!
God Bless,
Judy
At what age does he want to tell her?
My son is 19 now, but, unfortunately, I have used a lot longer than he has been alive. He has seen it all first hand and thank God he is extremely anti drugs, anti alcohol, anti smoking cigs, ect.
I know some addicts/alcoholics kids go down the same path that their parents did. I am so grateful that Brandon didn't and I seriously don't think he will ever, ever try a drug. I asked him about six months ago if he had ever had a drink, beer or alcohol. I know a great deal of kids, sorry, young adults his age do drink. His response brought tears of sorrow and joy to my eyes, "Uh, no Mom, and I never will. I saw what it did to you and Dindy" (Dindy being my little sister who died from chirosis of the liver at age 26 when Brandon had just turned 2. He couldn't say Linda, so he called her Dindy)
I think when she is at an age where kids are beginning to experiment, seriously about 12 years old, I would be honest. Let her know though what her Daddy went through as a result of his addiction. If lung cancer ran in your family, wouldn't you want her to know in hopes that it would deter her from smoking?
This is a great topic for discussion. I hope that you and your Hubby can find an agreeable answer that will be of benefit to your daughter. Thanks for sharing!
God Bless,
Judy
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: philadelphia pa
Posts: 1,280
I didn't tell my children about any of my drug use until they were in their 20's and that includes my RAS. I don't think it does anyone any good to tell a child their parent isn't perfect unless you absolutely have to. Do as I say and not as I do has never worked for anyone. just my opinion of course
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: San Jose, CA
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Myself I have two boys, one is 20 and one is 15yrs old. They both know that I did drugs when I was in high school that I just tried it. I did not have to tell them about my addication when I was in my 30's and early 40's they lived it. With both parent using in my house they only saw there dad always drugged up. So that was easy one. Now on the other had we were told by a doctor to tell our 15 year old that his dad was an acholic because he believed that the desease was in the genes. He has been told if he ever took a drink he has a better chance of becoming addicted to booze.
I am hoping that the choices they make are better ones then what I did. I would say just keep and open mind when it is time to talk to them. I would start talking about the age of 10. It is never to early to talk to your kids about drugs, sex and drinking. The more information they have the better they can maked the right choices for themselves.
I am hoping that the choices they make are better ones then what I did. I would say just keep and open mind when it is time to talk to them. I would start talking about the age of 10. It is never to early to talk to your kids about drugs, sex and drinking. The more information they have the better they can maked the right choices for themselves.
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