My True Problem
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
My True Problem
My true problem is that I am dyslexic. I cannot fill out forms on my own. I cannot tell you how much this holds me back especially as my dyslexia combines with my co-dependency.
It makes me extremely paranoid to say the least. I have had therapy for my dyslexia but like addiction it never goes away. I am fortunate in that I am able to read and write and be understood due to my therapy. I have a brother who is far worse than I am and my sister also is very afflicted.
The colleges that I have attended have been very helpful in helping me fill out forms for admissions and stuff. But they can't keep helping fill out applications for licenses, jobs, and loans ect...
My H will help me if I ask him to but, it is not easy for me to keep asking him all the time. Asking him for this help does make me feel more dependent on him and he has subtle ways of manipulating me because of this dependency on him and I just don't like it one little bit cause I have to keep my guard up all the time with him over it.
It makes me extremely paranoid to say the least. I have had therapy for my dyslexia but like addiction it never goes away. I am fortunate in that I am able to read and write and be understood due to my therapy. I have a brother who is far worse than I am and my sister also is very afflicted.
The colleges that I have attended have been very helpful in helping me fill out forms for admissions and stuff. But they can't keep helping fill out applications for licenses, jobs, and loans ect...
My H will help me if I ask him to but, it is not easy for me to keep asking him all the time. Asking him for this help does make me feel more dependent on him and he has subtle ways of manipulating me because of this dependency on him and I just don't like it one little bit cause I have to keep my guard up all the time with him over it.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
First, Splendra, I hope being dyslexic does not make you feel stupid..it's not related to intelligence and you are in good company of fellow dyslexics...Bill Gates, William Hewlitt of "Hewlitt Packer" fame, Albert Einstein, Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, Galileo, John Kennedy, Winston Churchill, Agatha Christie, Van Gogh, Beethoven, Leonardo Di Vinci ...this list proves that dyslexics are not of lesser intelligence indeed.
In Canada there is a group call the Canadian Dyslexic Association who helps people with dyslexia and I am hoping that there may be a similar organization in the United States.
Perhaps hooking up with them may find you some local support to assist you when needed, and also some all round support in dealing with the challenges that come with dyslexia.
Sending great big hugs, because you are one of the smartest and finest people I know and I am guessing this has bothered you for a long time, yes?
Hugs and Love
Ann
In Canada there is a group call the Canadian Dyslexic Association who helps people with dyslexia and I am hoping that there may be a similar organization in the United States.
Perhaps hooking up with them may find you some local support to assist you when needed, and also some all round support in dealing with the challenges that come with dyslexia.
Sending great big hugs, because you are one of the smartest and finest people I know and I am guessing this has bothered you for a long time, yes?
Hugs and Love
Ann
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Originally Posted by Ann
I am guessing this has bothered you for a long time, yes?
Many times my ideas are poo pooed and laughed at only to become accepted years later.
It is hard to deal with ridicule in the work place. I get tired of being a joke and seeing people roll their eyes at me. I am sure I have been fired from jobs many times because I have had a good idea that someone else wanted to take credit for and wouldn't feel right about implementing the idea and taking credit for in my presence. What they don't seem to understand is that I would not care if someone else took credit for an idea. Thanks for listening...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: GO PENS
Posts: 1,151
Vent away, girl. You are a special and unique kind of person. We are like snowflakes, no two are the same. If we were all alike...we would be very boring. You have been given other gifts to make up for what you don't have. I may not be dyslexic but I probably don't have some of the talents that you have.
I would think there would be a support group where you live to help you to overcome the situations that face you on a daily basis. If not, maybe you could start one.
You are a very special and smart person and don't you think otherwise.
I would think there would be a support group where you live to help you to overcome the situations that face you on a daily basis. If not, maybe you could start one.
You are a very special and smart person and don't you think otherwise.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Splendra you are not alone.
I too am dyslexic and all the way back to grade school and high school I had to work so MUCH HARDER than any of the other students.
Two things that helped me immensely was 1) Mom put me in a 'speed reading' class when I was in 6th grade. It was a paragraph at a time on a screen, with just small segments highlighted that you read. at the end they would have a little quiz that you had to answer regarding the paragraph. And slowly they increased the speed until we could go no further.
That helped me immensely with the reading part. I learned to pick out words instead of reading by sentence, I literally learned to read by paragraph.
I still had a hard time writing where my 's', 'd', 'b', 'p', '7', and '4' . I got sober in Los Angeles, and hadn't been sober very long, when a Dr at UCLA Medical Center was looking for dyslexic people to test with something. The something were different shades of lenses in eye glasses. It turned out that when I have a particular color of Rose tint, I can actually make the letters and numbers correctly, go figure.
Some folks it was different shades of blue, some folks, a different shade of green, and a few different shades of yellow worked. Some, it didn't work at all.
You might want to go where there are lots of Sun glasses with the different color of glass and try some and see if they help or not. Just a thought.
And slowly it got better and better. Oh I still have bad days where my hand written or printed word sucks, but with practice I have gotten better over the years.
Maybe that will you too.
Do not be ashamed. More folks out there than care to admit are dyslexic.
A lot of places now, you can apply on line, lol. Typing I am okay, hand written still have bad days.
Go have yourself a beautiful Saturday!!!!!
Love and hugs,
I too am dyslexic and all the way back to grade school and high school I had to work so MUCH HARDER than any of the other students.
Two things that helped me immensely was 1) Mom put me in a 'speed reading' class when I was in 6th grade. It was a paragraph at a time on a screen, with just small segments highlighted that you read. at the end they would have a little quiz that you had to answer regarding the paragraph. And slowly they increased the speed until we could go no further.
That helped me immensely with the reading part. I learned to pick out words instead of reading by sentence, I literally learned to read by paragraph.
I still had a hard time writing where my 's', 'd', 'b', 'p', '7', and '4' . I got sober in Los Angeles, and hadn't been sober very long, when a Dr at UCLA Medical Center was looking for dyslexic people to test with something. The something were different shades of lenses in eye glasses. It turned out that when I have a particular color of Rose tint, I can actually make the letters and numbers correctly, go figure.
Some folks it was different shades of blue, some folks, a different shade of green, and a few different shades of yellow worked. Some, it didn't work at all.
You might want to go where there are lots of Sun glasses with the different color of glass and try some and see if they help or not. Just a thought.
And slowly it got better and better. Oh I still have bad days where my hand written or printed word sucks, but with practice I have gotten better over the years.
Maybe that will you too.
Do not be ashamed. More folks out there than care to admit are dyslexic.
A lot of places now, you can apply on line, lol. Typing I am okay, hand written still have bad days.
Go have yourself a beautiful Saturday!!!!!
Love and hugs,
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Thanks Laurie for the encouraging words. I absolutely do not have a problem reading. I taught myself to read when I was four. I have a very high reading comprehension. I read backwards not like in a mirror but I read books from back to front. I read very fast and I read a lot.
What I have difficulty doing is filling out a form because of the lines and spaces to fill out I often put the wrong info in the wrong space. I can't tell which space I am supposed to put the info in. I have failed many test of all kinds because of this. Not because I did not know the answer but, because of putting the right info in the wrong space. I wear thick glasses and do find that certain tints help with certain lighting. I wear blue gray tint to read online and yellow for night. I went without glasses for several years and really did "appear" stupid because I could not see what I was doing but I even learned a lot from going without glasses and I feel it sharpened my intuition 1000%.
I repeat; I do not feel stupid. I have been ridiculed for my way of thinking and it is hard not to be concerned for what others think of me in a work environment because of the risk of being fired. At work I am sure I make other people feel stupid because I can figure out stuff so quickly and this makes people with PHd.s And MD.s behind their names feel like firing me if they are my boss.
Nobody can figure out my filing system or my computer at work. I do everything at least backwards maybe, inside out or, upside down or all of these at once.
I have had therapy for my dyslexia from some of the best therapist to be found anywhere in the world. But I can't expect them to hold my hand thru every application I make.
What I have difficulty doing is filling out a form because of the lines and spaces to fill out I often put the wrong info in the wrong space. I can't tell which space I am supposed to put the info in. I have failed many test of all kinds because of this. Not because I did not know the answer but, because of putting the right info in the wrong space. I wear thick glasses and do find that certain tints help with certain lighting. I wear blue gray tint to read online and yellow for night. I went without glasses for several years and really did "appear" stupid because I could not see what I was doing but I even learned a lot from going without glasses and I feel it sharpened my intuition 1000%.
I repeat; I do not feel stupid. I have been ridiculed for my way of thinking and it is hard not to be concerned for what others think of me in a work environment because of the risk of being fired. At work I am sure I make other people feel stupid because I can figure out stuff so quickly and this makes people with PHd.s And MD.s behind their names feel like firing me if they are my boss.
Nobody can figure out my filing system or my computer at work. I do everything at least backwards maybe, inside out or, upside down or all of these at once.
I have had therapy for my dyslexia from some of the best therapist to be found anywhere in the world. But I can't expect them to hold my hand thru every application I make.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,287
Splendra, I can understand your frustration, and just wanted to echo what lobo said, we are all beautiful in our own ways. You sound like you already believe in yourself, in your creativity, so try not to let the insensitivity and/or ignorance of others get to you (remember it is both insensitive and ignorant for people to treat you with such disrespect, but that is their problem). Keep holding your head up high. I believe in you. 
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
It is a problem of mine when people in power over my position at work can fire me it does not look good on my job record...
I do have confidence in myself but I am not good with office politics at all because I do not think on that level of kissing up. I can't do it and I can't fill out the form for it either :P
I do have confidence in myself but I am not good with office politics at all because I do not think on that level of kissing up. I can't do it and I can't fill out the form for it either :P
Administrator
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: a better place
Posts: 4,047
Well I do feel stupid because I can't even think of anything to say that is in anyway helpful. Your post and the replies have helped me gain a far greater understanding the challenges of dyslexia. I can appreciate not wanting to rely on your A because of the way he can manipulate that. I have always admired your intelligence, spirit, creativity and honesty. If there was one person i knew for sure wouldn't play the kiss up game, it would be you. I guess we can't have it all, and I'm sorry that this is problem for you, but what you do have is wonderful! And I know you can find ways to accomplish anything you put your mind to... I'll bet your creativity helps you find nontraditional ways to overcome obstacles.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Cloud 9
Posts: 778
Slendra, I am slightly dislexic, as well as my youngest daughter. So is my uncle, & my cousin has it the worst. But she got through her masters degree & is now an art teacher. I work in a dental office so working out of a mirror & facing people & talking about their right & left sides was very easy for me. Kinda funny a preofeesion that backwards is good. I do have a hard time with forms. I find that if I go slow & have a piece of paper to keep the lines straight & block out alot of the other spaces it it much easier. I have a handy dandy little notebook in my purse that I can whip out when I need to focus on the spaces. The people you work with should get a grip. It is discrimination if they fire you for that. Try not to let the people with the narrow minds ruin your day. What goes around does indeed come around.....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 48
Hi Splendra, I can relate. I too am dyslexic. I am right dominant but write with my left hand because I mirror with my right. I was a mirror writer through elementary school and can still master that. My mother had be tested and was at a loss in helping me. I mix up letters and have to ask for two forms always so I can practice with the first. We are a funny lot and find ways around our disability. Oh by the way it is considered a disability and you have protection under the Americans with Disability Act from being fired etc.
The best thing I ever did was to develop a love of reading...it helps me. I teach in public school (art) and can pick out fellow dyslexics in a heartbeat. We are multi-taskers and usually smart and like it has been said,
there are a lot of extraordinary people who are card carrying members.
The best thing I ever did was to develop a love of reading...it helps me. I teach in public school (art) and can pick out fellow dyslexics in a heartbeat. We are multi-taskers and usually smart and like it has been said,
there are a lot of extraordinary people who are card carrying members.
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
I guess I am getting old and cranky too and I am tired of being out of work. I have been working double over time in the creative thought department trying to find a way to not be so broke...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
Many famous people are dyslexic: the guy who own Kinkos, Stephen J. Cannell who writes TV scripts, Cher, all the ones Ann named. My daughter is also dyslexic as well as my brother and one nephew (that we know of so far!). You can do anything you want to. I also appreciate your posts and insight on this board!
susan
susan
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
((Splendra))
The people that I know who are dyslexic, think outside the box, they are very creative and are problem solvers. You have a lot to offer. Now to brain storm on how to present your attributes. On line applications are a good idea, networking with family and friends, put the word out, I'm sure you have thought of all of these. But how about this, have your resume prepared, pick up any applications that you need to fill out and stop by the workforce center, or unemployment office. Fill the applications out there and ask for someone to either help you with it or help proof it. They are there to help people just like you and you can get them to refer you to job applications too. Also, check into interactive software that would allow you to scan the application into the computer and fill it out.
Hope some of that might help.
Hugs my Friend
B
The people that I know who are dyslexic, think outside the box, they are very creative and are problem solvers. You have a lot to offer. Now to brain storm on how to present your attributes. On line applications are a good idea, networking with family and friends, put the word out, I'm sure you have thought of all of these. But how about this, have your resume prepared, pick up any applications that you need to fill out and stop by the workforce center, or unemployment office. Fill the applications out there and ask for someone to either help you with it or help proof it. They are there to help people just like you and you can get them to refer you to job applications too. Also, check into interactive software that would allow you to scan the application into the computer and fill it out.
Hope some of that might help.
Hugs my Friend
B
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Hey Frankly-
I have been doing all of that. All I have gotten from it is a bunch of junk mail.
I want to work in my profession but, I am waiting for my licensure to go thru. I let it expire because of fear of forms there are lots and lots of forms in this process. I did go for help but I waited too long fro the process to go smoothly. The licensing board of course will not allow me to work and nobody will hire me with out it anyway.
I have been applying online for every job I feel capable of doing. I am writing for a "term paper mill" right now that I don't feel too good about but I need the money too much right now.
My H is also unemployed. He maybe going to jail if he does not get a job soon because he has not been paying his child support. He has a court date next month. My H has a felony record so he has a lot of challenges with that because of the nature of the type of work he has a degree for. His age is a factor too I think. We have a catering business that he had to stop doing because all of the tags and insurance for the vehicles is expired as well as his drivers license. We live almost 2 miles from the closest bus stop.
In the back of my mind I guess I am blaming my H for all of this because he has spent most of the money he has made on dope and although he will not admit it I know he has stolen from me too. He is not using right now but, it is only because we have no money and because he has the threat of jail hanging over his head.
I stopped working our catering business with him because he would steal the money we made right in front of me and deny it and then go get high so i told him I wasn't going to do it anymore.
Oh God just writing this out makes me feel sick. I wish I had kicked him out of my life for good about 8 years ago. I have to bite my tongue to keep from lashing out at him I have asked him to start applying for work in other cities and I think that makes him paranoid. He knows am not too happy with him and want to be away from him. I have been sending his resume off to distant cities myself behind his back...ain't I just awful.
I have been doing all of that. All I have gotten from it is a bunch of junk mail.
I want to work in my profession but, I am waiting for my licensure to go thru. I let it expire because of fear of forms there are lots and lots of forms in this process. I did go for help but I waited too long fro the process to go smoothly. The licensing board of course will not allow me to work and nobody will hire me with out it anyway.
I have been applying online for every job I feel capable of doing. I am writing for a "term paper mill" right now that I don't feel too good about but I need the money too much right now.
My H is also unemployed. He maybe going to jail if he does not get a job soon because he has not been paying his child support. He has a court date next month. My H has a felony record so he has a lot of challenges with that because of the nature of the type of work he has a degree for. His age is a factor too I think. We have a catering business that he had to stop doing because all of the tags and insurance for the vehicles is expired as well as his drivers license. We live almost 2 miles from the closest bus stop.
In the back of my mind I guess I am blaming my H for all of this because he has spent most of the money he has made on dope and although he will not admit it I know he has stolen from me too. He is not using right now but, it is only because we have no money and because he has the threat of jail hanging over his head.
I stopped working our catering business with him because he would steal the money we made right in front of me and deny it and then go get high so i told him I wasn't going to do it anymore.
Oh God just writing this out makes me feel sick. I wish I had kicked him out of my life for good about 8 years ago. I have to bite my tongue to keep from lashing out at him I have asked him to start applying for work in other cities and I think that makes him paranoid. He knows am not too happy with him and want to be away from him. I have been sending his resume off to distant cities myself behind his back...ain't I just awful.
Rest peacefully Sonny Boy
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Florida, Tennessee
Posts: 840
((Splendra))
Oh hun, I'm sorry things are getting this rough. Try to take one thing at a time. Asking for help from strangers can be hard sometimes. Let the phone do most of your walking. Call the unemployment office and ask for an appointment with them. If you can, explain your obstacles and just flat out tell them, you need help.
As for the addict, gently, hands off the addict hon. It sounds like things are working around him that may be bringing him to where he needs to be to change. It could be that you've been placed in a position to where you can't bail him out or help him out.
I know that probably doesn't help a lot, but seperating your situation from his, may open a whole new world of doors for you. If he does go to jail, how are you going to make it?
I wish I could help more, or have the right words for you.
Hugs
B
Oh hun, I'm sorry things are getting this rough. Try to take one thing at a time. Asking for help from strangers can be hard sometimes. Let the phone do most of your walking. Call the unemployment office and ask for an appointment with them. If you can, explain your obstacles and just flat out tell them, you need help.
As for the addict, gently, hands off the addict hon. It sounds like things are working around him that may be bringing him to where he needs to be to change. It could be that you've been placed in a position to where you can't bail him out or help him out.
I know that probably doesn't help a lot, but seperating your situation from his, may open a whole new world of doors for you. If he does go to jail, how are you going to make it?
I wish I could help more, or have the right words for you.
Hugs
B
the girl can't help it
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Well if he goes to jail it will be cheaper for me to live. I have gone to unemployment for help I go the website almost everyday and apply. I have not gotten one response I also go to career builder and have created a resume for several different types of positions and all I get is junk jail I am thinking of canceling it. My H also has created several profiles at job sites.
The fact that none of my vehicles are legal makes it harder too...
What I am hoping for is that I get my licensure re-instated soon cause when that happens I will have a level playing field again and I will be able to make very good money once again. I waited a really long time to get this done which is why it is taking so long. I am sure they are investigating me to the inth degree because I went so long.
My H's record could come up in this investigation too which could actually not be a good thing for me.....
I am completely broke. I have been selling off my house hold goods on craigslist and my H has ads for the work he does. He has not gotten one call my stuff is selling pretty good but, the money gets spent really fast on food and other stuff none of my items are really big price items $20 here and there for some things that I have paid hundreds of dollars for. We have lots of musical equipment that I truly hate to have to sell.
We have a good friend staying with us and he is literally supporting us which I don't like at all. I do have some projects that I am working on and if I ever get them finished they might be fruitful. Maybe I need to complete at least one of them and see what happens.
The fact that none of my vehicles are legal makes it harder too...
What I am hoping for is that I get my licensure re-instated soon cause when that happens I will have a level playing field again and I will be able to make very good money once again. I waited a really long time to get this done which is why it is taking so long. I am sure they are investigating me to the inth degree because I went so long.
My H's record could come up in this investigation too which could actually not be a good thing for me.....
I am completely broke. I have been selling off my house hold goods on craigslist and my H has ads for the work he does. He has not gotten one call my stuff is selling pretty good but, the money gets spent really fast on food and other stuff none of my items are really big price items $20 here and there for some things that I have paid hundreds of dollars for. We have lots of musical equipment that I truly hate to have to sell.
We have a good friend staying with us and he is literally supporting us which I don't like at all. I do have some projects that I am working on and if I ever get them finished they might be fruitful. Maybe I need to complete at least one of them and see what happens.
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