Theodora8

Hi there. Like a lot of the other new people here, I've been reading the posts a couple times a day for a few weeks now. I've cried at a few of them, understood a lot of them, felt the light bulb go on for a couple, and finally realized I needed to accept what I am.

This is the first place I have encountered that has really helped me understand how I feel. While the family and friend meetings at rehab were helpful, they were really for the alcoholic/drug addict and not his girlfriend. Although interested in Al-Alon, there are only morning meetings in my area. I was so lost on how I was feeling and so afraid to object to anything he said because I didn't want him to relapse. I have been seeing a psychologist for a year now and never told him what was going on because my alcoholic/drug addict didn't want me to (he said it wasn't my psych's business).

After reading so many inspiring stories and seeing myself in some, I realized this week that I just needed to move on. The past two years with him now feel tarnished, dirty and built on lies he can't even remember. I love him and I'll continue to check in on him over the next couple months but I need to focus on me. No amount of love or worry from me is going to help him but it certainly will help me.

I am so glad I found Sober Recovery.

lexusgirl

Welcome!!

wish he'd quit

Welcome. Glad you are joining us. This place is such a great place for support. I think you will like it here.

I can relate to not telling the doctors about having an AH. Well our family doctor knew to some extent, but didnt realize how bad. I also began seeing a counselor and only told bits and pieces for a while. I can't tell you what a relief it was to finally talk to a professional and feel validated in my feelings and not feel like I am crazy.

angelfromheaven

Welcome Theodora,
I hope you will find happiness for YOURSELF!

RosieM

Welcome! You are so perceptive to be realizing these things. Isn't this place great?! Hope to be hearing from you again, Theodora!
RosieM

Theodora8

I wouldn't be doing this if I hadn't found this site. Reading all these stories made me realize that it wasn't going to get any better for me if I continued the same old cycle. So far it's been rough and emotional but I know it will get better and I hope he gets better too. Right now he's really angry with me for finally sticking up for myself. Well, he'd better get used to it!

Theodora8

Wish He'd Quit, looking back, I have to wonder how I even believed his thinking on that one! He told me that his drinking and drug abuse was his own business and not my pysch's. I just have to shake my head in disbelief at how much trust and hope I had that I'd wait a year to tell MY pyschologist about MY problems with him.

Lilyflower

Theodora, welcome to SR!

I am glad you are beginning on your journey towards healing, this is a wonderful place for support and comfort, it has been like friends and family of 'me' rather than of 'alcoholics'.

Have you read through the stickies at the top of this and every other forum? They are full of useful information and top class threads, when I first joined here they were inspirational to me.

i hope you continue to post here often, even if just to let us know how your doing, there's always someone here.

Hope to see you around,

Love Lily xxxxxxxxx

Pajarito

(((T8)))- welcome. What you talk about with your psych is confidential- as I'm sure you know. I had the same sort of issue with my AH. He didn't want me talking about what we were dealing with to anyone in my family or our friends- people who could have helped- at least me! My sanity has come only after finally talking to these people- not to badmouth him, but for support. It's been amazing. The people who will reach out to you in your recovery will be a source of strength for you- here as well as in your non-virtual life. Good luck!

Shivaya

Welcome, Theodora8! Glad you are here and finding some helpful information.

My ah is angry with me as well for speaking my mind and not taking his *rap anymore. Too bad, so sad for him. I've let myself be walked all over for too many years....now I'm done!

Keep us posted on how you are doing....doesn't it feel good to stand up for yourself?

Shivaya