sbstong

I've had lots of problems and inconsistencies in the last six years of my life when I started drinking at 18. I've still managed to hang on to a productive lifestyle, but I've always felt I was one or two bad events away of losing it all. For example, in college, instead of getting A's and B's I got by on C minuses. After losing the trust of my parents, I did just barely enough to redeem myself and earn their trust while continuing to live a darker lifestyle. Unfortunately, I got what I had coming.

The time bomb went off and I just had a catasrophe which has a realistic chance of making me homeless. That is enough for me. Drinking is something I can no longer do.

I've been court ordered to attend AA meetings in the past but I always sat in the back and dazed off. I didn't want to be there. For the first time ever, I have voluntarily walked into a few meetings. I was given a book to read and unlike last time, I began to read a little of it.

I am still trying to figure out if AA is for me. For the past couple years, I have gone weeks without alcohol due being busy and have not craved it. When I do drink, sometimes its just two beers and other times I lose count. I have really good nights and really bad nights. I can go out to parties where there is tons of alcohol and not drink, or not drink much. That is what makes my drinking problem so complicated.

For some reason unkown to me, I have these nights where I drink to blackout mode but yet I keep on going. At this point, I refer to it as psychopath drunk. Bad things happen such as waking up in jails, ER rooms, and airplanes.

I have had trouble finding others is AA who have similar drinking patterns. Does anyone ever here of this kind of thing, and do you think AA is right for me?

sailorjohn

Have heard it countless times. For me, a good definition was, I didn't get into trouble every time I was drinking, but every time I got into trouble I had been drinking. If you go to enough meetings you'll hear that good working definition for many alcoholics, they could not guarantee the outcome when they picked up a drink.


WELCOME

StandFast

I was never a problem dirnker. I certainly was not an alki, in my mind.
Nonetheless, 20 plus year of pleasure seeking partying and countless bad decsions that left me pennyiless and alone was enough for me.

My logic is easy, zero is the easist number of drinks for me. Instead of trying to "control" it, I choose to elimiante it. I found AA and I could not do it alone or without my meetings.

The biggest event in my quest for a "normal" life was connecting to my HP which I work on constantly.

I am into day 57 and life continues with ups and down. But for now, I will face it sober. Overall, it is a new life experience for. Round two. Time to put the gloves on and the hammer down on temporary escapes that destory me.

I hope you are better and better.

LosingmyMisery

From the sound of things, yes. AA is right for you. Give it some time and effort. Time will tell.

Just thought I might add, I was a severe alcoholic. I drank massive amounts of alcohol on a daily basis, but I never have woken up in jail, the ER, or on an airplane. The thought scares the heck out of me. If this is the sort of thing happening while drinking, you really should consider how serious the problem is.

Anna

It sounds like alcohol is causing problems in your life, and I hope that you find a method of recovery that works for you.

CarolD

Welcome...

AA is for anyone with a desire to quit drinking.

According to my favorite book on alcoholism...
:Under The Influence"
blackouts are a symptoms of middle stage alcoholism.

Please read this....it certainly opened my eyes
to the danger my drinking was causing.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

I think you are in serious trouble ....
please find a recovery program
and this time....do the work.

Keep posting ...you too can recover.

Luckyv2

I like the title of the thread thanks

Is AA for me?

Hummm

I would say am I for AA? either I am for it or against it?

Don't have to be AA although it is the most recommended treatment that is available. I do AA.....

I like it and I know today that I want it. They say we have three choices in life, either get locked up, covered up, or sober up. Well I am not a very smart guy but I would assume that staying sober would out weigh the other two. Of course like my sponsor tells me, "Vic, your thinking earned you a seat next to me, so it is probably best that you don't think!" LMAO he hasn't told me that for awhile but in all reality it was very true when I first got clean.

Being clean is nothing more than a learning process and each day we are able to stay sober we are able to learn a new way. Not easy,,,but doable

Hope that you answer the question you asked us for yourself. It is to thy own self to be true

blessings to ya.

mle-sober

Some people experience heavier and heavier drinking where they have consequences but can still stop. The don't stop because they can stop. So they convince themselves they are not an alcoholic.

But here's the problem - alcoholism is both progressive and deadly. And it sound like me that you are even aware yourself that you are about to step over that line where we are no longer talking about alcohol abuse bue we are talking about full-blown alcoholism. And at the point, everything becomes more serious and more difficult.

Since you ask, yes, AA is for you. In my opinion and without reservation.

Be strong.

FightingIrish

I can relate to your post a lot. I'm seven months sober here through AA and rehab. I was like you but got to be a daily drinker by the end. As others have said, it is progressive...it may take you another 25 years to reach bottom, but the option to stop is there now for the taking.

If only I had been open minded and willing earlier, I could have spared myself a lot of wasted time and trouble. I thought my ivy league degree, atheism, and national merit scholarship exempted me from such a "silly program" as AA...the opiate for the masses, or some such thing.

They say that honesty (am I an alcoholic? do I want to stop? can I stop on my own?), open-mindedness (am I willing to try something that on the face of it doesn't seem like it could possibly help me?), and willingness (am I going to take action even when I don't feel like it?) are the keys to HOW it works.

I hope you find your answer.

sbstong

Thanks for the quote. True and wise...

sbstong

The trauma is horrible. I've had enough. It is not a question of whether I am going to stop drinking or not, but how I am going to stop. I am very independent by nature, so reaching out is unfamiliar in any aspect of life. All I here from AA is keep coming back and that is all I can do...

I went from daily drinker to once every couple weeks drinker. All the bad things that would result from drinking every night for two weeks would all be condensed into one very bad night when I became a periodic drinker.

LosingmyMisery

It was unfamiliar for many of us. Reaching out for help was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. I still have a tough time asking for help. I can absolutely relate.

Trying going to AA with new eyes and new ears. It takes time for it to sink in and for things to make sense. The experience for me was extremely freaky, to say the least. I pushed through because I new the repercussions would be much worse if I didn't. Try different meetings. One may suit you better than another. Keep trying and don't give up.

best

A desire to stop drinking or never had a drink at all or falling down drunk every day... AA is a place that anyone who wants to learn how life can work, can find answers...drinking or not.
The things we can learn at AA can and will help us in all areas of life...including how to deal with alcohol.
You want a book...you go to a book store.
You want a coffee...you go to a coffee shop
You want solutions to problems caused by drinking and how to deal with such...AA is a good place to find those solutions.
They also have books and coffee *LOL*

How much we drink...When we drink...why we drink...
It doesn't matter if alcohol is a problem in our life it is a problem.
AA has solutions for any and all who are seeking such answers.

best

God as you understand Him.
A power greater then self.

sbstong

Thanks to all the postings... glad you responded.

LosingmyMisery

HP=Higher Power.