I hate when that happens
I hate when that happens
You know, when someone comes here and pours their heart out, and we all jump in to try and help. Then after a few days we never hear from them again. It seems to have happened quite a bit the past month or so. Being me, I tend to take it personally. I always wonder if I could have said more to help or to keep them interested in sticking with SR. Like, who wouldn't want to keep hanging out with us?!?
Also, I'm worried about some "regulars" who have been MIA for awhile. I hope they're ok & will find their way back to us.
Also, I'm worried about some "regulars" who have been MIA for awhile. I hope they're ok & will find their way back to us.
I think you have to let this one go. That is the way of this site.
But I understand. I sometimes feel like I can't reply to a person who has made just one post. They post in fear, and then disapear once they get sober. Most likely to embarrassed to come back. But the door is open.
But I look at this way now. This is ONE of my way of giving service. I try to spend an hour (+/-) on this site everyday. And if I can say something that may help someone, even if it is not the original poster...then I am getting out of myself, and giving.
I remember when I was in rehab. The 30 day programs. One of the ways it works is that people come in and leave at different times. And yet, some of the clients would get upset because they felt resentful towards "New" people. And/or resentful at some of the people leaving before them.
I never really understood this. But I think that when we are all in such a vulnerable state of mind...change is so very difficult, and disruptive.
But I understand. I sometimes feel like I can't reply to a person who has made just one post. They post in fear, and then disapear once they get sober. Most likely to embarrassed to come back. But the door is open.
But I look at this way now. This is ONE of my way of giving service. I try to spend an hour (+/-) on this site everyday. And if I can say something that may help someone, even if it is not the original poster...then I am getting out of myself, and giving.
I remember when I was in rehab. The 30 day programs. One of the ways it works is that people come in and leave at different times. And yet, some of the clients would get upset because they felt resentful towards "New" people. And/or resentful at some of the people leaving before them.
I never really understood this. But I think that when we are all in such a vulnerable state of mind...change is so very difficult, and disruptive.
Hey sweetie - All you can do is your best...I think people do sometimes come here in fear and then find they aren't ready...or are embarrassed...or go on to some other recovery group...whatever, we may never know what part we played, but we know we were always here whenever we try to help. Take care, Jomey
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 149
wow, you must be phsyic
I was just looking at an old "friends" stats to see when they were last on the SR site. I had an overwhelimg feeling of loneliness by doing and said to my self "I got to leave this leave this alone"
I also hope that they are okay and didn't pick up. It also reminded me of why I need pyshical meeting and fellow ship.
I also hope that they are okay and didn't pick up. It also reminded me of why I need pyshical meeting and fellow ship.
I know how you feel too.
I wouldnt take it personal.
I know you guys couldnt get rid of me if you wanted too. Even with my endless ups and downs. This is where I feel comfortable.
It is noce to know someone does care.
I wouldnt take it personal.
I know you guys couldnt get rid of me if you wanted too. Even with my endless ups and downs. This is where I feel comfortable.
It is noce to know someone does care.
Agree with what you say Hevyn, except that I don't take it personally.
What I will add though is that I am amazed at some of the good folk here who give lengthy replies to a newcomer, giving advice and support and help. This will be repeated in one form or another time after time. All I can think is that for those that don't come back there are many more taking the messages on board.
What I will add though is that I am amazed at some of the good folk here who give lengthy replies to a newcomer, giving advice and support and help. This will be repeated in one form or another time after time. All I can think is that for those that don't come back there are many more taking the messages on board.
A drowning person will reach out and grab onto anything. They'll let go of it as soon as they feel safe again. How many of us have done the same thing at other places. Our bi-weekly swearing off drinking and our anual visit to an A.A. meeting are the same thing. We've all done it. We've all said "This is it. I'm done", only to return to drinking before the weeks end.
Don't take it personal, it just wasn't their time to quit.
It's possible they found another site or another way to stay sober and decided to never visit SR again for some reason. But I doubt it.
Don't take it personal, it just wasn't their time to quit.
It's possible they found another site or another way to stay sober and decided to never visit SR again for some reason. But I doubt it.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I am here to share my experiences
to plant the seed of recovery.
Thus I solidify my own recovery
I certainly hopew I help a others too.
Members come
Members go
Bless them all on thier journeys.
to plant the seed of recovery.
Thus I solidify my own recovery
I certainly hopew I help a others too.
Members come
Members go
Bless them all on thier journeys.
Hey Hevyn,
I just figure that the advice they get from all the folks on this site is so good that they get sober right away and go on to lead sober productive lives. They're out there curing cancer, teaching our kids, and rescuing kittens from trees. They leave the soberrecovery stuff to us. Which means I need to be here more often. Who knows what great social reformer lurks out there just waiting to hear some pearls of wisdom emanating from my ultra-sober fingertips...
Just kidding. We can only hope and pray they're all right.
Mike
I just figure that the advice they get from all the folks on this site is so good that they get sober right away and go on to lead sober productive lives. They're out there curing cancer, teaching our kids, and rescuing kittens from trees. They leave the soberrecovery stuff to us. Which means I need to be here more often. Who knows what great social reformer lurks out there just waiting to hear some pearls of wisdom emanating from my ultra-sober fingertips...
Just kidding. We can only hope and pray they're all right.
Mike
I come here for a while then don't post again for ages. This is the first time I have posted on here for a long time.
Unfortunatly the times when I am not posting and reading it is usually because I am back to drinking and burrying my head in the sand.
I think though, that any newcomers that come will allways take something away with them that helps, even if they never post again. A fair few will come back at a later date when they are ready I guess.
As for the regulars, I would hope they are just getting on with their happy sober lives
Sax
Unfortunatly the times when I am not posting and reading it is usually because I am back to drinking and burrying my head in the sand.
I think though, that any newcomers that come will allways take something away with them that helps, even if they never post again. A fair few will come back at a later date when they are ready I guess.
As for the regulars, I would hope they are just getting on with their happy sober lives
Sax
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Hi All!
Just want to be counted in the "still here's". I love this site and have told people in my AA circle about it. I have come to rely on each of you for wisdom, support and encouragement. Regardless of my setbacks (and I have a lot of them), I do always get up and try again/come back. :bounce
Just want to be counted in the "still here's". I love this site and have told people in my AA circle about it. I have come to rely on each of you for wisdom, support and encouragement. Regardless of my setbacks (and I have a lot of them), I do always get up and try again/come back. :bounce
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