Notices

I hate when that happens

Old 04-19-2008, 02:09 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Community Greeter
Thread Starter
 
Hevyn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,416
I hate when that happens

You know, when someone comes here and pours their heart out, and we all jump in to try and help. Then after a few days we never hear from them again. It seems to have happened quite a bit the past month or so. Being me, I tend to take it personally. I always wonder if I could have said more to help or to keep them interested in sticking with SR. Like, who wouldn't want to keep hanging out with us?!?

Also, I'm worried about some "regulars" who have been MIA for awhile. I hope they're ok & will find their way back to us.
Hevyn is offline  
Old 04-19-2008, 02:22 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,330
I know how you feel Hevyn.

But, members do come and go, that's just the way it is.

I like to think that the members who leave are busy living their sober lives.
Anna is online now  
Old 04-19-2008, 02:33 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Seriously Fun!
 
LogCabin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California coast
Posts: 415
I think you have to let this one go. That is the way of this site.

But I understand. I sometimes feel like I can't reply to a person who has made just one post. They post in fear, and then disapear once they get sober. Most likely to embarrassed to come back. But the door is open.

But I look at this way now. This is ONE of my way of giving service. I try to spend an hour (+/-) on this site everyday. And if I can say something that may help someone, even if it is not the original poster...then I am getting out of myself, and giving.

I remember when I was in rehab. The 30 day programs. One of the ways it works is that people come in and leave at different times. And yet, some of the clients would get upset because they felt resentful towards "New" people. And/or resentful at some of the people leaving before them.

I never really understood this. But I think that when we are all in such a vulnerable state of mind...change is so very difficult, and disruptive.
LogCabin is offline  
Old 04-19-2008, 02:52 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
1963comet's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 1,381
Hey, I'm still here.
1963comet is offline  
Old 04-19-2008, 02:55 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,046
Sometimes too, people find what they need and move on...
or maybe they don't find what they need, and keep looking...

we do our best - and I think more often than not - we do very well

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-19-2008, 03:29 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Jomey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hey sweetie - All you can do is your best...I think people do sometimes come here in fear and then find they aren't ready...or are embarrassed...or go on to some other recovery group...whatever, we may never know what part we played, but we know we were always here whenever we try to help. Take care, Jomey
Jomey is offline  
Old 04-19-2008, 04:35 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Let go, let God.
 
Katecan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Canada
Posts: 244
I was new just last Tuesday and I'm still here. You all got to me!
Katecan is offline  
Old 04-19-2008, 04:44 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
everything is already ok
 
nogard's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,768
Originally Posted by Katecan View Post
I was new just last Tuesday and I'm still here. You all got to me!
good onya Kate, thanks for checking in

Kevin
nogard is offline  
Old 04-19-2008, 04:49 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 149
wow, you must be phsyic

I was just looking at an old "friends" stats to see when they were last on the SR site. I had an overwhelimg feeling of loneliness by doing and said to my self "I got to leave this leave this alone"

I also hope that they are okay and didn't pick up. It also reminded me of why I need pyshical meeting and fellow ship.
StandFast is offline  
Old 04-19-2008, 09:53 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Looking For Myself...Sober
 
Aysha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I know how you feel too.
I wouldnt take it personal.
I know you guys couldnt get rid of me if you wanted too. Even with my endless ups and downs. This is where I feel comfortable.
It is noce to know someone does care.
Aysha is offline  
Old 04-19-2008, 09:58 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
same planet...different world
 
barb dwyer's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
it's a 'catch and release' thing.
barb dwyer is offline  
Old 04-19-2008, 10:52 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
 
dave47's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: England
Posts: 1,733
Agree with what you say Hevyn, except that I don't take it personally.
What I will add though is that I am amazed at some of the good folk here who give lengthy replies to a newcomer, giving advice and support and help. This will be repeated in one form or another time after time. All I can think is that for those that don't come back there are many more taking the messages on board.
dave47 is offline  
Old 04-19-2008, 11:29 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
Member
 
Pinkcuda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Colorado Prairie
Posts: 1,417
A drowning person will reach out and grab onto anything. They'll let go of it as soon as they feel safe again. How many of us have done the same thing at other places. Our bi-weekly swearing off drinking and our anual visit to an A.A. meeting are the same thing. We've all done it. We've all said "This is it. I'm done", only to return to drinking before the weeks end.
Don't take it personal, it just wasn't their time to quit.
It's possible they found another site or another way to stay sober and decided to never visit SR again for some reason. But I doubt it.
Pinkcuda is offline  
Old 04-20-2008, 12:41 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
CarolD's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I am here to share my experiences
to plant the seed of recovery.

Thus I solidify my own recovery
I certainly hopew I help a others too.

Members come
Members go
Bless them all on thier journeys.
CarolD is offline  
Old 04-20-2008, 02:25 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
mikel60's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Boston MA
Posts: 666
Hey Hevyn,
I just figure that the advice they get from all the folks on this site is so good that they get sober right away and go on to lead sober productive lives. They're out there curing cancer, teaching our kids, and rescuing kittens from trees. They leave the soberrecovery stuff to us. Which means I need to be here more often. Who knows what great social reformer lurks out there just waiting to hear some pearls of wisdom emanating from my ultra-sober fingertips...

Just kidding. We can only hope and pray they're all right.
Mike
mikel60 is offline  
Old 04-20-2008, 03:02 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,046
I like your story best, Uncle Mike...

D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-20-2008, 03:11 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
Room1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England
Posts: 674
I come here for a while then don't post again for ages. This is the first time I have posted on here for a long time.

Unfortunatly the times when I am not posting and reading it is usually because I am back to drinking and burrying my head in the sand.

I think though, that any newcomers that come will allways take something away with them that helps, even if they never post again. A fair few will come back at a later date when they are ready I guess.

As for the regulars, I would hope they are just getting on with their happy sober lives


Sax
Room1 is offline  
Old 04-20-2008, 04:14 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,046
good to see you back Sax anyway
D
Dee74 is offline  
Old 04-20-2008, 04:21 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Member
 
Room1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England
Posts: 674
Thanks Dee, it's good to be back
Room1 is offline  
Old 04-20-2008, 07:41 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: massachusetts
Posts: 2,216
Hi All!

Just want to be counted in the "still here's". I love this site and have told people in my AA circle about it. I have come to rely on each of you for wisdom, support and encouragement. Regardless of my setbacks (and I have a lot of them), I do always get up and try again/come back. :bounce
HideorSeek is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 06:53 PM.