Alcoholic Father (His Daughter)
[†]ѕну-ѕмаllz[†]
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: bowmanville
Posts: 10
Alcoholic Father (His Daughter)
Hey, I just turned 18,
I have been growing up with my father being an alcoholic, and he has been to AA, and it didn't help him, when he went he was arrested for fighting with my brother and I was younger but I had to call the cops. But the point is he went to rehab and it diddn't help. when he got back he hid the beer cans and when we found out he made it seem like it wasn't a big deal and now that we let it drop, he has been intoxicated every night and all I do is stay in my room and keep my distance. but I want him to become sober and I dont know how to ask him becasue he has been an alcoholic even b4 I was born, I was born three months preamture and I weighted one pound fit right in the palm of his hand and, I thank the lord that I didn't have any problems, I think the reason I was born three months premature was due to his alcoholism. even thought I am immune to his addiction i feel that things could be a lot better and that the family could have more time to spend together, when I do plan to spend time watching TV with them in the basement I feel odd inside and I go to bed early because I went down there to spend time with them and my dad drinks and it bothers me. I have been keeping myself away from drinkin with my friends because I dont want to turn out like my father when I am older. I know i will if I drink because I am exactly like him I look like him in a girl form, I act like him , Im quiet and shy so is he , the only time he is loud and crazy is when he is drunk. and I dont like him having two different personalities. It hurts me to always see the loud and crazy drunk personality. I want to see more of the dad I use to have when I didn't really have a problem and I didn't know he had an addiction. I just realized it was effecting me when I started to find out I wanted to become a social worker and I found out about all the help people can get and when my dad when to rehab for the first time. right now I am in my last semester of high school and hopefully going to college to become a drug and alcohol councilor. I would be great and I can learn things. And maybe use them on my dad before he "Drinks his life away" my dad had a scare of cancer and he drank even more but once he found out it wasn't cancer he cut down. He did try to only drink on weekends but that didn't last too long. all I want is my father to be healthy and sober but I dont know what to do. I have more responibilities than an average teen should.
I dont think this is a thread for me askin for much help but i just wanted to get some things off of my chest so thankz.
Littleone
I have been growing up with my father being an alcoholic, and he has been to AA, and it didn't help him, when he went he was arrested for fighting with my brother and I was younger but I had to call the cops. But the point is he went to rehab and it diddn't help. when he got back he hid the beer cans and when we found out he made it seem like it wasn't a big deal and now that we let it drop, he has been intoxicated every night and all I do is stay in my room and keep my distance. but I want him to become sober and I dont know how to ask him becasue he has been an alcoholic even b4 I was born, I was born three months preamture and I weighted one pound fit right in the palm of his hand and, I thank the lord that I didn't have any problems, I think the reason I was born three months premature was due to his alcoholism. even thought I am immune to his addiction i feel that things could be a lot better and that the family could have more time to spend together, when I do plan to spend time watching TV with them in the basement I feel odd inside and I go to bed early because I went down there to spend time with them and my dad drinks and it bothers me. I have been keeping myself away from drinkin with my friends because I dont want to turn out like my father when I am older. I know i will if I drink because I am exactly like him I look like him in a girl form, I act like him , Im quiet and shy so is he , the only time he is loud and crazy is when he is drunk. and I dont like him having two different personalities. It hurts me to always see the loud and crazy drunk personality. I want to see more of the dad I use to have when I didn't really have a problem and I didn't know he had an addiction. I just realized it was effecting me when I started to find out I wanted to become a social worker and I found out about all the help people can get and when my dad when to rehab for the first time. right now I am in my last semester of high school and hopefully going to college to become a drug and alcohol councilor. I would be great and I can learn things. And maybe use them on my dad before he "Drinks his life away" my dad had a scare of cancer and he drank even more but once he found out it wasn't cancer he cut down. He did try to only drink on weekends but that didn't last too long. all I want is my father to be healthy and sober but I dont know what to do. I have more responibilities than an average teen should.
I dont think this is a thread for me askin for much help but i just wanted to get some things off of my chest so thankz.
Littleone
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 902
Hey Littleone: I know how painful it is to watch your father drink himself into the ground. My father is also an alcoholic.
You sound like a very smart girl. I think it is wonderful that you have made a choice not to drink at all because of your father's addiction. I made the same decision very young and it has worked for me.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing : )
If you able to go, alateen meetings are a good place to find other teens in your position.
You sound like a very smart girl. I think it is wonderful that you have made a choice not to drink at all because of your father's addiction. I made the same decision very young and it has worked for me.
Keep posting and let us know how you are doing : )
If you able to go, alateen meetings are a good place to find other teens in your position.
[†]ѕну-ѕмаllz[†]
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: bowmanville
Posts: 10
what if your scared to go to meetings and share your, feelings with people. I am shy and quiet and dont like to talk about things I put it all off when things are bothering me my fav thing to say is " I dont wanna talk about it right now" and when I do say that I dont talk about it later and I always hope that none will bring it up later and bother me to talk to them so I can get things off my head. Im not a good talker I like to keep it all to myself.....
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
If you don't want to go to meeting, you might want ot try reading as much as you can, especially on the subject of children of alcoholics. I know I found the books on adult children of acoholics to be eye opening when I read them. It surprised me just how much of my bahviors and thinking had been shaped by growing up with alcoholic parents. Information is empowering.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 598
You are a smart girl!
You sound like you have a great head on your shoulders and for that you should be proud! My sons have a AF and my parents too drank when I was young! Learn to take care of yourself and know that your Dad is sick. That is how my boys look at their Dad. Your Dad loves you - he just can't see past the drinking sometimes. Hang in there - if you ever need another "Mom" to talk to or to vent- there are many people here - myself included who will always listen! Much peace to you!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 902
Littleone: You don't have to talk if you don't want to. I went to several al-anon meetings without talking at first. No one will pressure you. They will likely come and introduce themselves and say welcome, but that's it. Some asked what brought me to al-anon, then quickly said don't answer if you don't feel comfortable.
I think it's important to get your feelings out. If you feel better keeping them private, maybe a journal will help. Of course, we are also always here to type to.
I know it's hard, but your post tells me you are pretty stron already!
If you want to PM (private message) anyone on here, you can do so by hitting the bottom on the bottom of their post. I haven't PM'd anyone that wasn't willing to talk with me.
Keep posting!
I think it's important to get your feelings out. If you feel better keeping them private, maybe a journal will help. Of course, we are also always here to type to.
I know it's hard, but your post tells me you are pretty stron already!
If you want to PM (private message) anyone on here, you can do so by hitting the bottom on the bottom of their post. I haven't PM'd anyone that wasn't willing to talk with me.
Keep posting!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
(((hugs))) littleone
This is exactly the forum to come and ask for help.
My dad was an alcoholic too. When I was a teenager it was so painful.
Try AlAnon if you can- you don't have to speak, you can just listen, and they have a lot of good literature.
Seeking help is a such a huge sign of your strength!!! It is great you posted here - keep reading and posting - there are many here who can offer you help, guidance, and a place to let it all hang out!
Peace,
B
This is exactly the forum to come and ask for help.
My dad was an alcoholic too. When I was a teenager it was so painful.
Try AlAnon if you can- you don't have to speak, you can just listen, and they have a lot of good literature.
Seeking help is a such a huge sign of your strength!!! It is great you posted here - keep reading and posting - there are many here who can offer you help, guidance, and a place to let it all hang out!
Peace,
B
Last edited by Bernadette; 04-18-2008 at 11:48 AM.
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Welcome LittleOne Glad that you found us!!
It appears that you are a very brilliant girl and are heading yourself in the right direction! My father and mother (And step parents and brothers) all Alcoholic's! My father God rest his soul is gone and it was very painful to watch as he was a Doctor who helped so many to live but, did not help himself-
Reading is a great way to start-Books are knowledge! There are a list at the top of this forum "Classic reading" where you could find a lot of information!
Maybe seeking out an Al-Anon or ACoA meeting would be a great next step! Even just to go in and listen! I have even attended AA meetings! I have gained a lot from sitting in those rooms and just listening to others! Do not think that you have to share, you will do that if and when you are ready too!
Keep posting here! SR is a great way to learn from everyone's experience !
's to you!
Glad that you found us!! It appears that you are a very brilliant girl and are heading yourself in the right direction! My father and mother (And step parents and brothers) all Alcoholic's! My father God rest his soul is gone and it was very painful to watch as he was a Doctor who helped so many to live but, did not help himself-
Reading is a great way to start-Books are knowledge! There are a list at the top of this forum "Classic reading" where you could find a lot of information!
Maybe seeking out an Al-Anon or ACoA meeting would be a great next step! Even just to go in and listen! I have even attended AA meetings! I have gained a lot from sitting in those rooms and just listening to others! Do not think that you have to share, you will do that if and when you are ready too!
Keep posting here! SR is a great way to learn from everyone's experience !
's to you!
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
You have it tough LittleOne, I see your pain.
Unfortunately, you can't make your dad get sober.
And your certainly can't feel guilty for that.
Be very careful who you choose for boyfriends because you are use to the dysfunction of your dad. Often daughters of alcoholics marry someone just like dear ol dad.
The best thing you can do is get yourself emotionally stable and understand how you have been affected by growing up in the environment that you have.
Does your family have insurance that would pay for counseling?
You sound like an awesome and smart young lady. You can become a wonderful adult in spite of the situation, because you have the ability.
Unfortunately, you can't make your dad get sober.
And your certainly can't feel guilty for that.
Be very careful who you choose for boyfriends because you are use to the dysfunction of your dad. Often daughters of alcoholics marry someone just like dear ol dad.
The best thing you can do is get yourself emotionally stable and understand how you have been affected by growing up in the environment that you have.
Does your family have insurance that would pay for counseling?
You sound like an awesome and smart young lady. You can become a wonderful adult in spite of the situation, because you have the ability.
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