still hiding in the garage
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: CA
Posts: 21
still hiding in the garage
I just wanted to up date you all. No one needs to reply, because I know I have already taken up so much of your time.
I got home from work today and there he is, hiding in the garage again. He is stubborn!! He is exhibiting what a selfish, baby he is. He is either mad that I somehow violated his independence and his right to do whatever he wants short of cheating, or he is embarrassed, knows he is wrong and is too rude and proud to admit it.
LAMO!!
Actually, hiding in the garage isn't unusual for him, but it's usually just for one day and he rarely sleeps in there. He sometimes hides in there when he is mad at me, or his son(flunking out of school, etc), or just grumpy in general. I think he definitely suffers from depression. His doctor prescribed him an anti-depressant a few months ago, but he never took it.
I got home from work today and there he is, hiding in the garage again. He is stubborn!! He is exhibiting what a selfish, baby he is. He is either mad that I somehow violated his independence and his right to do whatever he wants short of cheating, or he is embarrassed, knows he is wrong and is too rude and proud to admit it.
LAMO!!
Actually, hiding in the garage isn't unusual for him, but it's usually just for one day and he rarely sleeps in there. He sometimes hides in there when he is mad at me, or his son(flunking out of school, etc), or just grumpy in general. I think he definitely suffers from depression. His doctor prescribed him an anti-depressant a few months ago, but he never took it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: twilight zone,usa
Posts: 3,909
most all addicts are embarraced & are ashamed that they get high. some of them will not go to meeting or get help because of it. i am sorry u are going thru this. stay safe, you never know what an addict will do. take up our time???? that is what we r here for,you !!! prayers,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: homebased
Posts: 408
Enjoy the solitude while it lasts!
Imagine if the sulking, pouting etc was in your face disrupting the serenity of your home....this way you can relax, perhaps watch a tv show, log on to SR
no need to have a front row seat to the drama...
Imagine if the sulking, pouting etc was in your face disrupting the serenity of your home....this way you can relax, perhaps watch a tv show, log on to SR
no need to have a front row seat to the drama...
Get Caught Reading
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
(((((((Eddison))))))))
How old is your husband? Mine is 43. When he turned 40, he started
suffering from panic attacks. Just outta the blue. Only has'em once
in a while, but they scare the crap outta him. He refuses to take anything
from the doctor for them. Pride or somethin'. I don't know.
I think it's an age thing. We both have a hard time about getting older. lol
That's life, I guess. Don't let his brooding bother you. Remember, you did
nothing wrong. You have every right. I hope he gets headed in a good and
completely clean direction soon. Without dragging you down with him.
You sound like a loving and very caring person. But you do need to learn how to set boundries and not enable him or his behavior. You can learn all that
in alanon. I hope you take the time to focus just on you for a while.
A facial, haircut, or pedicure. Something that says..."I deserve to be pampered, damm*t. And I mean to be." lol
How old is your husband? Mine is 43. When he turned 40, he started
suffering from panic attacks. Just outta the blue. Only has'em once
in a while, but they scare the crap outta him. He refuses to take anything
from the doctor for them. Pride or somethin'. I don't know.
I think it's an age thing. We both have a hard time about getting older. lol
That's life, I guess. Don't let his brooding bother you. Remember, you did
nothing wrong. You have every right. I hope he gets headed in a good and
completely clean direction soon. Without dragging you down with him.
You sound like a loving and very caring person. But you do need to learn how to set boundries and not enable him or his behavior. You can learn all that
in alanon. I hope you take the time to focus just on you for a while.
A facial, haircut, or pedicure. Something that says..."I deserve to be pampered, damm*t. And I mean to be." lol
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 697
It's probably some game of "chicken" for him. I'd just leave him alone and let him be, but whenever I did see him, I'd be cordial and polite. If it were me, I might throw out some kind of offer to talk if he seemed interested, but I'd also be very clear about some things, and as another poster suggested on a previous thread, I'm make my responses and conversation with him very "to the point," with as short of answers as I possibly can.
Also, one thing I learned as one who teaches at the college level, is that silence will get you VERY far in a conversation. It also works as an interrogation technique for many. If you ask a question and think the answer is a lie or you aren't sure, you just sit there and look at him and don't say a word, but wait. Most people will become so uncomfortable with the "weird silence" that they will begin to talk and many might just start to blurt stuff out.
In school it works when the kids just do NOT want to answer questions I ask. I just wait until someone raises their hand. Full minutes have passed. They get downright fidgety when it's that quiet. Never be afraid of silence!
If they ask, "well? Aren't you going to say anything?" I would probably reply with, "oh, were you finished? Just giving you time and respecting your turn to talk," with a soft, gentle smile.
:atv
Also, one thing I learned as one who teaches at the college level, is that silence will get you VERY far in a conversation. It also works as an interrogation technique for many. If you ask a question and think the answer is a lie or you aren't sure, you just sit there and look at him and don't say a word, but wait. Most people will become so uncomfortable with the "weird silence" that they will begin to talk and many might just start to blurt stuff out.
In school it works when the kids just do NOT want to answer questions I ask. I just wait until someone raises their hand. Full minutes have passed. They get downright fidgety when it's that quiet. Never be afraid of silence!
If they ask, "well? Aren't you going to say anything?" I would probably reply with, "oh, were you finished? Just giving you time and respecting your turn to talk," with a soft, gentle smile.
:atv
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Virginia , US
Posts: 98
Wish I had a garage so my abf would hide in there. Instead I feel like he is in my face constanty just becuase he is around. Hes trying to punish you. Mine tries to do that from time to time. I remeber when we had our first big blow out when I started to wake up to the addiction problem , he went and slept on the couch. Oh darn, had the whole bed to myself it was pretty nice. Well the next morning he says , that couch is rough Im not going to do that agian. I just laughed at him and siad your the one that made that decision not me.
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