Summer

I am just starting my 2 week vacation. This week will be spent at home, my Dad is flying out on Friday and next week we have a fishing/camping vacation planned with Dad, sister, nephew and spouse. As usual my spouse has been drinking lots lately, he does not drink around me (my boundary I set along time ago), and I am seriously thinking about asking him not to come along camping with us. I already feel stressed about it. My Dad drinks alot (not sure if he is an alcoholic) and I asked my spouse how is he going to handle that? He thinks he will be fine and is just looking forward to getting away. I think he will be having withdrawals, thinking about it constantly and will be crabby. And if I tell him not to come I might be up there feeling guilty about it and thinking I probably should have told him to come! It's so stupid. And if he does go I feel like I need to have a talk with my sister about a few things, she already knows he's an alcoholic but does not know how to handle some situations like Live and Let Live, if he doesn't want to do something don't push it, etc. I did go out to see my Dad at Xmas without him and had a great visit. I guess maybe that's why I am wondering how this one will go with him there. Maybe I'm worrying too much all for nothing. Or maybe I just need to set another boundary? Anyone been in this situation before?
Summer

countrygirl

Hi, I know just how you feel, I think I do, anyway, but it sounds like your hubby at least tries to do right.

You said he doesn't drink around you, so if he has been pretty good about that, I'd give him a chance. We want to encourage the healthy family events, right? As to his mood while there, well, that is kind of giving him his chance, too. He knows if he will feel - if you can, why not let him take responsibility for whatever happens inside him on the trip? And you take a good book with you as a backup, just in case you feel the need to retreat.

It is just one week, if it is good, everyone wins. If he blows it, you will know for sure. If you don't give it a chance, you will wonder.

Yes, talk to the sister. Al-Anon 101. Just for everyone's comfort.

Have fun. This could really be good for you all. Hope so. If not, well, at least you know.

maryl

Summer,
I think that if you dicuss your concerns with your hubby as well as your sister then you may be setting yourself uop for a good time. On the other hand you said your Dad drinks. Will he be bring beer? Then that could pose an issue. Just talk with everyone involved and make the choice that feels right for you. My prayers are with you. I hope no matter what the boundaries be that you set for your trip I hope it is a good and productive one. Being out doors can give people new inspiration.

Lots of Hugs((((((((()))))))))))
maryl