bandy

sure its great to wake up clean and sober but is that all there is? I just can't seem to shake this bla head space I've been in lately I feel just like a blob of nothing I had structure before when I was using have a joint then write in my journal have a drink then reach for the telephone and phone up my friends my whole life it seems I did after I had that first toke, first drink maybe that is why I'm doing nothing these days. I need a motivator that is not booze or drugs. what's that going to be? what can I take to make me excited about sobriety?

RK2007

For me, the thought of not having to end up in an early coffin after a slow, painful death from multiple organ failure/liver disease/whatever else can happen to you from chronic alcohol abuse was (and still is) a pretty good motivator to keep up my sobriety.

The things you did before, your journal - keep doing that, if that's something that was important to you.

You've got all this time on your hands now, so you'll probably want to get to know yourself a bit too - you might be different without using, you might want to try some new stuff, develop your hobby or work interests.

The possibilities are endless - it's not all fun that's for sure, but it's better than being dead or a slave to chemicals.

bandy

thanks rk I sound like a real whiner When I heard other people whining about their no life I would think to myself what a loser now that is where I am at. I am going to shake it I am getting sick of myselves I don't want to fess up to these feelings because I expose myselves

SF69

Bandit, I just kept on doing what I did before, just without the drinking. Sure, at first, these activites didn't seem as fun without the booze. But over time and breaking the habit of associating the booze with the activity, the fun is starting to come back.

Also, I'm starting to do the things I've always wanted to, but never got around to because of being drunk or hungover.

warrens

Bandit

That was one of the hardest things for me-ritual. Much harder, I think, than withdrawal.

I was a pretty productive alcoholic. My alcohol use was limited to my "free" time. It was governed by the clock and certain activities. I had to break those associations and it wasn't easy.

Planning and altering habits can help, I think. Managing our environment. Where do you usually write? Write somewhere else, where drinking isn't an option. A library, perhaps.

If, like me, your days are pretty much predictable, and the same, we have to change the ritual, I think. Either change our activities, or substitute a new ritual. I haven't been too successful with the former, yet. I lost my driver's license and pretty much a slave to other's schedules. But I have changed my rituals.

It doesn't take as long as you might think. Took me a couple of weeks to "forget" that I was supposed to crack a beer as I booted my computer. Buying beer on the way home from work. I simply do something else.

Do something to break the associations, Bandit. Do something instead of NOT doing something (like drinking). Be active, not passive, otherwise you will do nothing but think about not drinking. Just my suggestion.

warren

BUTTERFLY-7

You Don't do nothing Just be still all you got to do is get some recovery on your Belt, and a A/A meetings, and let the process do the rest. oh: and of course your H.P. is in charge and he will provide you a sponsor, and then a New Life Begins oh of course if you allow it to Begin.

bandy

thank you warrens for the light bullb moment RITUALS I need to think about your reply it is almost too much to digest this is going to take me a while to absorb just exactly what you said this new information is mind boggling yet it is providing me a new awareness, thank you

butterfly I am ok with being stuck and I am ok with wanting to get unstuck

quendrida yes when I force myself to actually do something and after I accomplish it I feel great too, just wish I had more of it.

I found this site amenclinics.com and looked at the brain scan of a chronic pot smoker
chapter 15 images of alchol and drug abuse it talks about motivational problems what a great site wow is my poor brain ever damaged. check this site out.

Hevyn

Bandit, what you're feeling is exactly how I felt. I have almost 3 mos., but for the first month I had that feeling of "Is that all there is?" and the feeling of waiting for something to happen. The first week I was busy detoxing, so thankful to be alive, and just glad to be getting well. Then the whole thing seemed anticlimactic & I was filled with resentment. It is almost like learning to live again. I expected to feel bright, perky & full of life right out of the gate, but it doesn't work that way.

CarolD

Think of one thing you have always wanted to explore/learn.
Then go do it!...

I volunteered at a free medical clinic.
I took classes in art...cooking...gemology
I also became involved in AA ...
that's where my joy of living is centered.

gofish1331

Absolutely, Idle hands are the devils playground! Spend more time here typing! Seriously, I started to cook....I'm actually pretty good at it!

Evanna

It is hard. For me the motivation seemed to come later. The early days of being clean were just low.

Rob B

I've felt like you in the past, my sponsor told me to get off my butt and go help someone who was having a harder time than me, I did what I was told, and have been doing it ever since, to watch people recover and see their lives recreated is an experience you don't want to miss. What are you doing to give back the gift you were given.

Tommyh

ty rob,I was going to say something similier
bandit,go find a drunk to help...AA is a program of action and sometimes it takes the action to fix my head....

God`s Grace don`t come in thru my intellect,it comes in from the soles of my shoes...get moving buddy...