While Watching Oprah
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Join Date: Apr 2008
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While Watching Oprah
Came home from work early yesterday to catch the Oprah show and watch it with my daughter.(the Beautiful Boy) She left a few times to go out and smoke(cigarettes) and missed some sections. I was blown away when Oprah said that Relapse was a definite part of recovery. It put me right back in an awful fear mode. I couldn't discuss it with my daughter. Would love to read your comments.
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Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: in the south
Posts: 219
G,
I also watched the program..........this is what I feel, not what I gained from the program. I don't think anyone (in my opinion) can be "cured" in a 30 day program just like the gentleman said on the program. I think recovery is a process and a learning experience. Perhaps in a thirty day program you learn or are introduced to the "tools" regarding recovery. Everyone is different and you have to decide which tools are going to help you remain on the sane and sober road. Maybe you will misstep or misjudge along the way. We are all human. But if you are truly working your program you pick yourself up, figure out where the problem was, adjust and move on. If you have a loved one that has had a relapse and you see the addict is truly trying I think your part is to encourage him or her not to give up and that you admire them for having the strength and courage to move on and start once again.
I think perhaps if we really understood how hard it is for an addict truly trying to get up brush himself off and try again then we would really let our compassion flow over them. Christ tells us not to judge lest we be judged. I have watched my own son relapse three times. Each time I have been so disappointed. The last time I was ready to wash my hands of him. But I have offered him rehab one more time and he has been clean for four months. He is still in his long term program. I know he is suffering. I am offering him this chance.. I know no one would want to have had the experiences he has had, lost the family he has, experienced the shame and guilt he has if he could honestly controll and help it. Just as David Sheff did not give up I feel much the same way. Ultimately I know the choice is up to my son but for now he is sober, in a clean environment, with a bed and food. It is one day at a time for sure but each day he becomes stonger and I thank God for that. To answer your question I guess you have to understand that relapse is part of the package but that they do hopefully desire recovery enough to continue the journey toward a better life that waits for them. God bless..........dixied
I also watched the program..........this is what I feel, not what I gained from the program. I don't think anyone (in my opinion) can be "cured" in a 30 day program just like the gentleman said on the program. I think recovery is a process and a learning experience. Perhaps in a thirty day program you learn or are introduced to the "tools" regarding recovery. Everyone is different and you have to decide which tools are going to help you remain on the sane and sober road. Maybe you will misstep or misjudge along the way. We are all human. But if you are truly working your program you pick yourself up, figure out where the problem was, adjust and move on. If you have a loved one that has had a relapse and you see the addict is truly trying I think your part is to encourage him or her not to give up and that you admire them for having the strength and courage to move on and start once again.
I think perhaps if we really understood how hard it is for an addict truly trying to get up brush himself off and try again then we would really let our compassion flow over them. Christ tells us not to judge lest we be judged. I have watched my own son relapse three times. Each time I have been so disappointed. The last time I was ready to wash my hands of him. But I have offered him rehab one more time and he has been clean for four months. He is still in his long term program. I know he is suffering. I am offering him this chance.. I know no one would want to have had the experiences he has had, lost the family he has, experienced the shame and guilt he has if he could honestly controll and help it. Just as David Sheff did not give up I feel much the same way. Ultimately I know the choice is up to my son but for now he is sober, in a clean environment, with a bed and food. It is one day at a time for sure but each day he becomes stonger and I thank God for that. To answer your question I guess you have to understand that relapse is part of the package but that they do hopefully desire recovery enough to continue the journey toward a better life that waits for them. God bless..........dixied
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Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Saint Paul, MN
Posts: 901
Well, if Oprah said it, it must be true.
Don't get me started about what I think of Oprah...
Relapse does happen for some. But it's not a part of recovery. That's ridiculous. There are countless who have never relapsed. I am not one of them unfortunately.
I used to think that yes, relapse was a part or component of recovery. It's not. Relapse is a part of addiction, not recovery.
Don't get me started about what I think of Oprah...
Relapse does happen for some. But it's not a part of recovery. That's ridiculous. There are countless who have never relapsed. I am not one of them unfortunately.
I used to think that yes, relapse was a part or component of recovery. It's not. Relapse is a part of addiction, not recovery.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
When I was in treatment (before I became a crack addict), I was told relapse does NOT have to be a part of recovery.
I know of many RA's who never relapsed, many more who did, often more than once. I think Dixied is right. It took my relapse for me to finally have had enough. I was clean before, but not working at recovery. After my relapse, I was more determined than ever to be in recovery.
I understand that the people who love us A's or RA's will always have that fear of relapse. I, also, have to remember that I am not cured, and if I don't work hard at recovery, relapse will happen.
Addiction changes us forever....those who are/were the addicts, and those who love us. I have learned not to FEAR a relapse but to respect that it can happen if I don't do what I need to. I have dear friends that are also RA's, and I have to remind myself that even if they DO relapse, it doesn't have to drag me down with it. I guess it all goes back to the 3 c's.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I know of many RA's who never relapsed, many more who did, often more than once. I think Dixied is right. It took my relapse for me to finally have had enough. I was clean before, but not working at recovery. After my relapse, I was more determined than ever to be in recovery.
I understand that the people who love us A's or RA's will always have that fear of relapse. I, also, have to remember that I am not cured, and if I don't work hard at recovery, relapse will happen.
Addiction changes us forever....those who are/were the addicts, and those who love us. I have learned not to FEAR a relapse but to respect that it can happen if I don't do what I need to. I have dear friends that are also RA's, and I have to remind myself that even if they DO relapse, it doesn't have to drag me down with it. I guess it all goes back to the 3 c's.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Not in the boonies, thank God
Posts: 1,410
I was blown away when Oprah said that Relapse was a definite part of recovery.
Sorry. You probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but some here do.
I've said all along that an addict has relapses until they are finally at rock bottom. Some people disagree. I, being a cigarrette smoker, and have quit twice, know that this happens. One day I hope to be in recovery from nicotine for good. But I feel that each time I do quit...I'm in recovery.
Just my thoughts and mine alone.
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
I think she was just saying what she was told also.
I admire her for helping to get this out in the open.
She also added why she said that, so that parents would
not think it was 'Hopeless' if their child DID relapse.
I admire her for helping to get this out in the open.
She also added why she said that, so that parents would
not think it was 'Hopeless' if their child DID relapse.
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