I am new....the MOM of an addict in reahb AGAIN!!!!!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Jackson, Michigan
Posts: 2
I am new....the MOM of an addict in reahb AGAIN!!!!!
I have my Dtr's 2 kids now...ages 2 and 5.......BOYS.
I have raised the 5 yr old since he was 6 months old and rescued HIM form a crack house my Dtr was living in...........
3 weeks ago I got the 2 yr old......FINALLY!!!!!
IT was harder to get HIM as he gets Social Security money of nearly $1,000 a month as his Father died 18 hours after he was born................of an overdose of cocaine...........this childs Father never even saw his son....but somehow he had worked in his 28 years.........and is now able to provide this SS $ for his son............
My Dtr is an addict and also Dx Bi-polar......she was able to keep her youngest son for 2 years now to be able to use his SS $............
My Dtr. moved on the average of every 2+ months.........lived in hotels with this child............spent all of his Socila Security $ (SS $) on her addiction.........
I fought hard and called the police on her many times........called CPS on her as the baby was abused and hurt...........no shots or Dr check ups.........sick all the time..............
To NO avail................each attempt was a dead end...............
FINALLY...................my precious Dtr, who I still LOVE dearly..............gave her youngest son up to ME............a Limited Guardianship............and entered a rehab for the thrid time.....................in 1 1/2 years.
THIS time she detoxed from snorting, "Oxy Contin".........using at least a gram a day of cocaine.............1/2 ounce of POT a day........Vicodin and Loratabs.........drrinking Yeagermeister with beer as a chaser all day long.........she lost 40#'s..................in 3 months since she left her last 3/4 house/rehab.................
She QUIT her last rehab and dove in harder to the drugs.......................
WHat I need help with is this.....................
Sufferering from NO feelings for my Dtr.............and her wanting ME to take her boys to see her 2 hours 2 times a week while in reahab.........
The baby cried so HARD when he heard his Mom's voice when she called here last Friday on HER B-Day...............(she was not supposed to call home yet)
grrrrrrrrrrr
My Dtr is still lying...........she willingly gave up her 2 year old to Me.......but still wants ME to be her biggest supporter...........as I am the only person in her life that is still talking to her................
I have NO faith in her NEW reahab she is IN as she entered it running from the LAW!!!!! She faces 2 felonies when out in 4 weeks...........
I went to her last HOUSE for the hundreth time............but this time all I got form there was anything that had to do with the 2 yr old and left everything else to go to the DUMP!!!!!!
I picked up all of the 2 year olds clothes............they were mostly NASTY and stunk.......of pee and mold...........I washed the clothes that could be salvaged...........I got all of his toys.............and more than half of his toys were broken or missing pieces...........and has to be thrown OUT.........
I went shopping for toys for him.......the 2 year old...........eliminated my OFFICE..............
Gave this little boy his own room and bught him a bed of his OWN...............filled it with toys and "Babies" aka stuffed animals...........
HE is sooooooooooo happy and everyday and night he talks of HIS room and HIS bed and HIS toys!!!!!
WOW!!!!!!!!!!
HE is safe now.............and will have a GOOD Life............with his biological brother!!!!!!!!!!!
Please tell me how to deal with my Dtr now................as she will get out of reahb in 4 weeks and has told me she has no where to go!!!!!
TY for any response here.....................
I am at my end............of all of this.................12 years now..............I can't do this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am 50 years old and raising 2 Lil boys.............................
XOXOXOXO
Nonny6
I have raised the 5 yr old since he was 6 months old and rescued HIM form a crack house my Dtr was living in...........
3 weeks ago I got the 2 yr old......FINALLY!!!!!
IT was harder to get HIM as he gets Social Security money of nearly $1,000 a month as his Father died 18 hours after he was born................of an overdose of cocaine...........this childs Father never even saw his son....but somehow he had worked in his 28 years.........and is now able to provide this SS $ for his son............
My Dtr is an addict and also Dx Bi-polar......she was able to keep her youngest son for 2 years now to be able to use his SS $............
My Dtr. moved on the average of every 2+ months.........lived in hotels with this child............spent all of his Socila Security $ (SS $) on her addiction.........
I fought hard and called the police on her many times........called CPS on her as the baby was abused and hurt...........no shots or Dr check ups.........sick all the time..............
To NO avail................each attempt was a dead end...............
FINALLY...................my precious Dtr, who I still LOVE dearly..............gave her youngest son up to ME............a Limited Guardianship............and entered a rehab for the thrid time.....................in 1 1/2 years.
THIS time she detoxed from snorting, "Oxy Contin".........using at least a gram a day of cocaine.............1/2 ounce of POT a day........Vicodin and Loratabs.........drrinking Yeagermeister with beer as a chaser all day long.........she lost 40#'s..................in 3 months since she left her last 3/4 house/rehab.................
She QUIT her last rehab and dove in harder to the drugs.......................
WHat I need help with is this.....................
Sufferering from NO feelings for my Dtr.............and her wanting ME to take her boys to see her 2 hours 2 times a week while in reahab.........
The baby cried so HARD when he heard his Mom's voice when she called here last Friday on HER B-Day...............(she was not supposed to call home yet)
grrrrrrrrrrr
My Dtr is still lying...........she willingly gave up her 2 year old to Me.......but still wants ME to be her biggest supporter...........as I am the only person in her life that is still talking to her................
I have NO faith in her NEW reahab she is IN as she entered it running from the LAW!!!!! She faces 2 felonies when out in 4 weeks...........
I went to her last HOUSE for the hundreth time............but this time all I got form there was anything that had to do with the 2 yr old and left everything else to go to the DUMP!!!!!!
I picked up all of the 2 year olds clothes............they were mostly NASTY and stunk.......of pee and mold...........I washed the clothes that could be salvaged...........I got all of his toys.............and more than half of his toys were broken or missing pieces...........and has to be thrown OUT.........
I went shopping for toys for him.......the 2 year old...........eliminated my OFFICE..............
Gave this little boy his own room and bught him a bed of his OWN...............filled it with toys and "Babies" aka stuffed animals...........
HE is sooooooooooo happy and everyday and night he talks of HIS room and HIS bed and HIS toys!!!!!
WOW!!!!!!!!!!
HE is safe now.............and will have a GOOD Life............with his biological brother!!!!!!!!!!!
Please tell me how to deal with my Dtr now................as she will get out of reahb in 4 weeks and has told me she has no where to go!!!!!
TY for any response here.....................
I am at my end............of all of this.................12 years now..............I can't do this anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am 50 years old and raising 2 Lil boys.............................
XOXOXOXO
Nonny6
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 902
(((Nonny6))) sorry you are dealing with so much.
Let your daughter figure out where to go on her own. She is an adult who has made her own choices.
Think of those innocent boys first! They are the ones that can't help themselves right now.
Let your daughter figure out where to go on her own. She is an adult who has made her own choices.
Think of those innocent boys first! They are the ones that can't help themselves right now.
play the tape all the way thru
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 480
((((((((Nonny))))))))
Your post made me almost cry. You have such a kind heart. Your grandsons are very fortunate to have you. They need you now more then your daughter does.
Try to let her figure it out on her own. You didn't cause it...You can't cure it...and You can't control it.
Your post made me almost cry. You have such a kind heart. Your grandsons are very fortunate to have you. They need you now more then your daughter does.
Try to let her figure it out on her own. You didn't cause it...You can't cure it...and You can't control it.
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Welcome Nonny6-
Bless you for being 'there" for your grandsons.
From what you've stated, your daughter has a lot of work to do to be able to be the mom her boys need. She must do this on her own. You have all you can handle as do the boys w/o her in your home. She needs to do the work 1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bless you for being 'there" for your grandsons.
From what you've stated, your daughter has a lot of work to do to be able to be the mom her boys need. She must do this on her own. You have all you can handle as do the boys w/o her in your home. She needs to do the work 1st!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,849
my heart goes out to you and those boys.
You asked what to do when she needs or asks for help, I'm not the mom of an addict but the wife of one...........
but I would say support any efforts in recovery but SAY NO everything else...........
and if she complains tell her your time energy and cash is already being used to help her------- by helping HER CHILDREN
ALso I'm not sure what the laws are in your state but I would recommend that you make sure she cant just walk back in and take the boys, that it will require a court order or your consent.
Best wishes to you and your family
You asked what to do when she needs or asks for help, I'm not the mom of an addict but the wife of one...........
but I would say support any efforts in recovery but SAY NO everything else...........
and if she complains tell her your time energy and cash is already being used to help her------- by helping HER CHILDREN
ALso I'm not sure what the laws are in your state but I would recommend that you make sure she cant just walk back in and take the boys, that it will require a court order or your consent.
Best wishes to you and your family
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 1,322
I agree, Nonny, post a new thread also on the substance abuse/family and friends site. And how wonderful that you are committed to the support of those little guys. There are several "grandmas" on this site who are raising their grandchildren due to the addictions of their kids, as well as numerous parents of addicts. I hope you stick around to get the love and support you need and deserve.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Nonny, my heart goes out to you. And my prayers.
I hope you find a way to concentrate on yourself and those wonderful grandbabies. Your daughter needs to take responsibility for herself and her recovery. Not you. You are supporting her already. Do not let her move in with you . Please.
I hope you find a way to concentrate on yourself and those wonderful grandbabies. Your daughter needs to take responsibility for herself and her recovery. Not you. You are supporting her already. Do not let her move in with you . Please.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 540
What a wonderful person you are to rescue these two children. They don't deserve the life they had. Your daughter, there is absolutely nothing you can do. You must be exhausted after 12 years. Concentrate on yourself and the children. This addiction is her battle sounds like you have done all you can. (((( hugs)))))
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Oh Nonny
My eyes are welled up with tears. I could feel the anguish through your post. Protect the little ones. That's the most important thing. Your daughter is an adult and she is able to take care of herself. Those children cannot.
Try to take some time for yourself. With two little ones in the house it's difficult to find the time but it's really really really important to take care of YOU.
gentle hugs
My eyes are welled up with tears. I could feel the anguish through your post. Protect the little ones. That's the most important thing. Your daughter is an adult and she is able to take care of herself. Those children cannot.
Try to take some time for yourself. With two little ones in the house it's difficult to find the time but it's really really really important to take care of YOU.
gentle hugs
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