I'm done with it

Hi all,
Today I started spring cleaning with a goal to get things organized so I can get the taxes started. AH just laid around and did nothing which made me mad because the mess is mostly his. I suspected he was using as it was just his bday and he tends to use on holidays and special occassions. Then I found the stuff and blew up! Called his cousin to take him to his mom's home - "mom" the ultimate codie.
I have already told him that I have zero - ZERO tolerance for this stuff in my home. Before, I have asked him to move out and he said he would once this place was built - but he just found out it won't be built for another 1 1/2 to 2 years...so I told him he needs to find somewhere else. But he just won't leave on his own, I had to call someone to tell him he needs to leave. For whatever reason, he listens to her...thankfully.
So today I got rid of 5 bags of trash, 5 bags of clothing/shoes for donations and one trashed junkie.
Any suggestions, on making him leave for good? What have others done?
Thanks for listening.

Impurrfect

I can't give any advice on how to make him leave, since I haven't had to go through that, but I'm sure others will be along.

I just wanted to say "way to go!!" on sticking to your boundary.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

imallright

Boundaries. Good for you that you were strong enough to take that step. You need to take care of you. It hurts sometimes... lots of times, actually, but it is all about you and staying the course IMO. He'll be back, and he will want back in... stay strong and think about what is best for you. Remember, he is making his choices, not you and if he is not getting help... this is nowhere near the right choice for you... again, that's my opinion!!

I admire your strength. Have a good day and keep coming back here. There are many wonderful people who have helped me and they will be along soon to speak to you.

greeteachday

Sorry, I don't have advice on how to keep him out...Just sendign some hugs and support your way. You don't have to accept the unacceptable and it sounds like you know that and won't let him cross your boundaries...Good for you!!

liesagain

I am not sure where you live and what the laws are.
My first thought is pack all of his belongings, change the keys to the house change the code to the garage door and then go drop his belongings off where ever it is hes staying.
Tell him he no longer lives there ...........

I guess it really depends on the person but all it took with my AH is me telling him..........you no longer live here you choose the drugs

I did change the locks and the garage door code for a just in case............and when ah showed back up here at home he knocked on the door.........

but thats just how it went for us, I hear others say all the time that they cant make their addicts leave.

Good luck and good job and sticking to what you said.

GabrielleF

I don't have any advice but I say Congratulations. It may be a tough road ahead but NEVER as tough as if he stays and uses. This is a new beginning and you deserve the best life has to offer.

rahsue

I agree with liesagain, pack his stuff up (your spring cleaning anyway) change the locks and call the cops if he comes around. then brush yourself off and LIVE.

I'm done with it

Thanks for all the support. It was easy to say enough is enough but I went thru a lot to get to that point. We can all get there when the time is right for us. He has called and says he wants space, too, but...he also wants to come and go whenever he wants. NO. He said we can talk about it when we aren't so mad. Here he comes again...talking like an addict. I have to remember what he has put me thru and that he will put me thru it again and again. He says he is done with the stuff but yeah right, we have all heard that before haven't we?

As far as changing the locks, no need to. I took the keys to the house when he left. He was too messed up to realize he didn't have the house keys. Hahaha.

I said he can come and pick up his stuff...when I say he can come over and no he doesn't need a key to the place.

Tonight I am going to do some more spring cleaning. It is "refreshing!" I feel like I have come a long way and I did it by coming to this forum. Thank you to each and every one of you. You are all a special gift!

Done_With_It

You are doing so Awesome Girl! I'm so proud of you!

Your posts always put a big smile on my face.. :day4


I had a small relapse on the diet pepsi. ARGGG

I got off my meds, and I hate to say but the cafeinne in it helps me think or slow down my thoughts. When I get back on my meds, I'm going to quit again.
But I only drink Max one a day, and sometimes not even that.

Rock and Roll Ralphs quit selling RUMBA

OMG, I was devasted.... lol

But I found it on the Labrea one by Petco.
I have to go buy a bunch now... LOL

We still have to get together, maybe we can meet at TB for a diet pepsi.
Ha Ha Ha.

How is your Spring Cleaning coming? I need to do that. You've got me inspired!

Good to see you girl! :ghug3

MsPINKAcres

Congrats on the healthy boundaries for YOU - as far as "making" him stay away - sometimes you can contact the local women's shelters for suggestions as to what is your best action.

Yes, please try to remember Addicts are going to do exactly what Addicts do - doesn't mean you have to treat then unrespectful - just means it's ok to treat yourself with respect and allow them the dignity of finding their own way.

Wishing you Serenity & Joy,
Rita