Thinking of All of You
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Thinking of All of You
I just wanted you all to know that I have been reading all of your posts. I have been checking in about everyother day.
I am sorry I have not been posting or being outwardly supportive; but I am thinking of all of you through all ot your struggles and accomplishments.
It has been hard for me to post because I have been in a funk. One of my sons has been depressed and suicidal, and I am just feeling all closed off.
I remain sober, 40 days now.
I promise to be a more interactive SR family member when I am feeling less depressed and more like communicating.
Luv ya all,
Suzette :ghug
I am sorry I have not been posting or being outwardly supportive; but I am thinking of all of you through all ot your struggles and accomplishments.
It has been hard for me to post because I have been in a funk. One of my sons has been depressed and suicidal, and I am just feeling all closed off.
I remain sober, 40 days now.
I promise to be a more interactive SR family member when I am feeling less depressed and more like communicating.
Luv ya all,
Suzette :ghug
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by Toomutch 
I promise to be a more interactive SR family member when I am feeling less depressed and more like communicating.
So you are going to wait till you feel better before doing the things that just may help you feel better faster?
I understand the feeling of not wanting to communicate but at such times I find the answer is..communicate so I get past the funk.
Being a guy, it is natural for me to climb in a hole and say leave me alone.
Well if I can learn such things as the importance of communication....do you think the solution worked well for me?
Post a few posts and see if I may be right *LOL*
*HUG*
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,465
Hi Suzette,
I am sorry for the issues with your son and I hope that he gets helps for his problems.
I do hope that you keep reading and posting. Good for you staying sober and of course, that is the best thing you can do for your son and for yourself.
I am sorry for the issues with your son and I hope that he gets helps for his problems.
I do hope that you keep reading and posting. Good for you staying sober and of course, that is the best thing you can do for your son and for yourself.
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Suzette:
Thanks for sharing what's going on.
Please, don't keep this inside. That is the worst thing you can do. This disease wants you to isolate so once you are good and lonley, you will look to it for company.
I can tell you that from experience. I didn't physically isolate from people though. I kept going around everyone like nothing was wrong. Most times, I only isolated in my mind. I kept up the fascade.I used to think that when something was bothering me, I had to keep it to myself. No one wants to listen to someone complain. Gotta keep up that image that I'm strong, I don't let things bother me and besides, I'm supposed to be the happy go lucky everything's ok party girl. Look where that took me.
Ever since I was a small child, I was taught that if you care about someone, you worry. But in Recovery, among other things, I realized that there is a difference in worrying and concern. My Mom is one of those people who thinks that she must worry about everyone and everything. If she doesn't worry, she thinks she's not a caring person. And my Mom, God love her, worries herself literally sick.
I have a wonderful book that I know many of my family in SR have as well.
I'd like to share one of the Daily Readings with everyone now.
Peace
Anxiety is often our first reaction to conflict, problems or even our own fears. In those moments, detaching and getting peaceful may seem disloyal or apathetic. We think: If I really care, I’ll worry: if this is really important to me, I must stay upset. We convince ourselves that outcomes will be positively affected by the amount of time we spend worrying.
Our best problem-solving resource is peace. Solutions arise easily and naturally out of a peaceful state. Often, fear and anxiety block solutions. Anxiety gives power to the problem, not the solution. It does not help to harbor turmoil. It does not help.
Peace is available if we choose it. In spite of chaos and unsolved problems around us, all is well. Things will work out. We can surround ourselves with the resources of the Universe: water, earth, a sunset, a prayer, a friend. We can relax and let ourselves feel peace.
Today, I will let go of my need to stay in turmoil. I will cultivate peace and trust that timely solutions and goodness will arise naturally and harmoniously out of the wellspring of peace. I will consciously let go and let God.
From The Language of Letting Go
Melody Beattie
March 6, 2008
Please, keep sharing with us. You are among Family here.
The Sober Recovery Family who cares about you.
Judy
:praying
[/I]
Thanks for sharing what's going on.
Please, don't keep this inside. That is the worst thing you can do. This disease wants you to isolate so once you are good and lonley, you will look to it for company.
I can tell you that from experience. I didn't physically isolate from people though. I kept going around everyone like nothing was wrong. Most times, I only isolated in my mind. I kept up the fascade.I used to think that when something was bothering me, I had to keep it to myself. No one wants to listen to someone complain. Gotta keep up that image that I'm strong, I don't let things bother me and besides, I'm supposed to be the happy go lucky everything's ok party girl. Look where that took me.
Ever since I was a small child, I was taught that if you care about someone, you worry. But in Recovery, among other things, I realized that there is a difference in worrying and concern. My Mom is one of those people who thinks that she must worry about everyone and everything. If she doesn't worry, she thinks she's not a caring person. And my Mom, God love her, worries herself literally sick.
I have a wonderful book that I know many of my family in SR have as well.
I'd like to share one of the Daily Readings with everyone now.
Peace
Anxiety is often our first reaction to conflict, problems or even our own fears. In those moments, detaching and getting peaceful may seem disloyal or apathetic. We think: If I really care, I’ll worry: if this is really important to me, I must stay upset. We convince ourselves that outcomes will be positively affected by the amount of time we spend worrying.
Our best problem-solving resource is peace. Solutions arise easily and naturally out of a peaceful state. Often, fear and anxiety block solutions. Anxiety gives power to the problem, not the solution. It does not help to harbor turmoil. It does not help.
Peace is available if we choose it. In spite of chaos and unsolved problems around us, all is well. Things will work out. We can surround ourselves with the resources of the Universe: water, earth, a sunset, a prayer, a friend. We can relax and let ourselves feel peace.
Today, I will let go of my need to stay in turmoil. I will cultivate peace and trust that timely solutions and goodness will arise naturally and harmoniously out of the wellspring of peace. I will consciously let go and let God.
From The Language of Letting Go
Melody Beattie
March 6, 2008
Please, keep sharing with us. You are among Family here.
The Sober Recovery Family who cares about you.
Judy
:praying
[/I]
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
*prayers*
congratulations on hanging on ...
sober ...
is the best way to cope with the circumstances you describe.
Drinking or using certainly isn't going to make anything better.
So you're making the right choice -
and you know that.
Look how far YOU have come , too!
congratulations on hanging on ...
sober ...
is the best way to cope with the circumstances you describe.
Drinking or using certainly isn't going to make anything better.
So you're making the right choice -
and you know that.
Look how far YOU have come , too!
Last edited by barb dwyer; 04-03-2008 at 09:35 PM.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Thank you all for your replies and concern.
I am feeling somewhat better as my son is in therapy right now.
I am still having a difficult time communicating, it is ike I am in the fog.
This all just brings me back to last year when my daughter was in the hospital for 3 months with anorexia. I stayed with her day and night while she was in intensive care. Then she went into inpatient and finally outpatient. I am pleased to say that she is doing great. She was down to 77 lbs at 5'7 and now she is 130 and 5'9".
Why am I sharing this? I am just curious to why some families have so much difficulty. Did my untability rub off on my kids?
All my kids do well in school, and people are always telling us what great kids we have. They are perfectionists that only want to do right. Yet they seem to struggle emotionally as I always have.
Just venting again.
I am feeling somewhat better as my son is in therapy right now.
I am still having a difficult time communicating, it is ike I am in the fog.
This all just brings me back to last year when my daughter was in the hospital for 3 months with anorexia. I stayed with her day and night while she was in intensive care. Then she went into inpatient and finally outpatient. I am pleased to say that she is doing great. She was down to 77 lbs at 5'7 and now she is 130 and 5'9".
Why am I sharing this? I am just curious to why some families have so much difficulty. Did my untability rub off on my kids?
All my kids do well in school, and people are always telling us what great kids we have. They are perfectionists that only want to do right. Yet they seem to struggle emotionally as I always have.
Just venting again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
So... I took the advise and have made some posts. It feels really good to try and help someone else who is struggling. I suppose it is selfish to keep to myself- it is just what I do. Isolate, build walls...
I would like to learn to be more of an open book, but at 43, it could be that I'm set in my ways.
I would like to learn to be more of an open book, but at 43, it could be that I'm set in my ways.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,789
Originally Posted by Toomutch
So... I took the advise and have made some posts. It feels really good to try and help someone else who is struggling. I suppose it is selfish to keep to myself- it is just what I do. Isolate, build walls...
I would like to learn to be more of an open book, but at 43, it could be that I'm set in my ways.
I would like to learn to be more of an open book, but at 43, it could be that I'm set in my ways.
Kevin
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Any time I feel as though my plate of troubles is getting a little too full I try to remember that God never gives me more than I can handle.
You sound like a very strong lady to me.
Yes, you've been through alot but remember
This too shall pass.
I'll continue to keep you and your Family in my Prayers,
Judy
:ghug
You sound like a very strong lady to me.
Yes, you've been through alot but remember
This too shall pass.
I'll continue to keep you and your Family in my Prayers,
Judy
:ghug
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by Toomutch
I would like to learn to be more of an open book, but at 43, it could be that I'm set in my ways.
Your doing ok. It can take time. Once we realize who are friends are, we learn to open up more.
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