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I ended my relationship with my ABF last week. We had been together 3 1/2 years. We met in recovery and I genuinely loved him. Still do. Always will.

Now I am dealing with the feelings of loss and sorrow and disappointment. They suck -- I'd rather feel OTHER things -- but that's where I am and it hasn't been so bad that I can't deal with it.

It feels good that I made a decision entirely about me and what I want in my life -- my XABF wasn't bringing it. He wasn't choosing to bring recovery into our relationship. He was showing me behavior I do not find acceptable. I have compassion for the fact that it was his disease running the show (even though he stopped drinking 20 years ago, the ISM does not go away). But my compassion does not extend to making me into a doormat.

So. Here I am. Single. Never expected that -- thought we'd end up married. But as it became obvious that wasn't a realistic hope, I became less interested in investing in the relationship.

I genuinely feel good that I have freed myself from an essentially dead-end situation (one that I would only grow to resent), so that my Higher Power can bring a loving partner capable of real commitment into my life. Gotta let go of the old before the new can arrive.

That's what I believe.

Thanks for letting me share.

Barbara52

Its good to read that you feel so good about your choices. Yes, the pain of mourning your loss is there. But you are acting in your own best interest and that is a good thing. {hugs}

BohemiMamaof3

You're on your way...