don't get myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Milwaukee WI
Posts: 137
don't get myself
Hi there,
It's been awhile since I posted, my father was very ill for several months and recently passed away, it was heartbreaking. I miss him every day.
On another note my AH is now up to drinking a bottle of whiskey a day. I just can't stand living with someone who is drinking this amount of booze a day, I feel like I never have any time with him where he is sober, or not affected in some way by alcohol. My Father's death has really showed me that I should not be sitting and wasting my life away, to still be here years from now I feel would be devastating to me.
But, why can't I just get out!! I am working on my schooling, and have been putting applications in for jobs, but I don't know if I can really leave!! What is wrong with me?!!! The things that he says when I bring the subject up are so out of line, like from outer space, I believe his brain is turing to mush and he doesn't care, all he cares about is drinking, I have known that for a long, long time. I say to him I can't live like this anymore, and he says "I'm so shocked to hear that, all the spiritual work you have done, you would think you be at "peace" with it..........WHAT!!! CRAZY TALK.
On one hand his behavior has changed a bit, not being so verbally loud ect., but I still can't stand that he has and continues to lie about drinking, or won't deny but will say, "oh really". I can't stand the staggering, the slurring, the falling down and saying it was the ICE anymore!
I need some nudging words...
It's been awhile since I posted, my father was very ill for several months and recently passed away, it was heartbreaking. I miss him every day.
On another note my AH is now up to drinking a bottle of whiskey a day. I just can't stand living with someone who is drinking this amount of booze a day, I feel like I never have any time with him where he is sober, or not affected in some way by alcohol. My Father's death has really showed me that I should not be sitting and wasting my life away, to still be here years from now I feel would be devastating to me.
But, why can't I just get out!! I am working on my schooling, and have been putting applications in for jobs, but I don't know if I can really leave!! What is wrong with me?!!! The things that he says when I bring the subject up are so out of line, like from outer space, I believe his brain is turing to mush and he doesn't care, all he cares about is drinking, I have known that for a long, long time. I say to him I can't live like this anymore, and he says "I'm so shocked to hear that, all the spiritual work you have done, you would think you be at "peace" with it..........WHAT!!! CRAZY TALK.
On one hand his behavior has changed a bit, not being so verbally loud ect., but I still can't stand that he has and continues to lie about drinking, or won't deny but will say, "oh really". I can't stand the staggering, the slurring, the falling down and saying it was the ICE anymore!
I need some nudging words...
Wipe your paws elsewhere!
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
My life turned around when I stopped focusing on what I couldn't do and started focusing on what I could do. It took me 25 years to see the light. I wouldn't recommend that anyone follow in my footsteps.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
(((stillsearching))) My deepest sympathy for the loss of your father. I still miss mine, and he died 16 years ago.
I don't know why you can't get out. I know I felt that way for a very long time, probably a good 3-4 years. Then one day I knew it had to change. It didn't happen overnight, but I started taking the right steps.
Keep posting. Reach out. Do you attend Al Anon?
I don't know why you can't get out. I know I felt that way for a very long time, probably a good 3-4 years. Then one day I knew it had to change. It didn't happen overnight, but I started taking the right steps.
Keep posting. Reach out. Do you attend Al Anon?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Los Angeles CA
Posts: 208
Sometimes it helps me to remember that I didn't get where I am overnight. It takes a lot of (often small) choices, one after another, over time, to get somewhere.
That's true whether I am happy or not. It takes me time to get into a mess and time to get out of it. I want answers NOW, especially if I'm afraid, uncomfortable or unhappy. But I usually don't get real answers quickly.
That's why I'm so, so, so grateful for the Al-anon slogan One Day At A Time.
Please, God, grant me patience -- and HURRY UP!
That's true whether I am happy or not. It takes me time to get into a mess and time to get out of it. I want answers NOW, especially if I'm afraid, uncomfortable or unhappy. But I usually don't get real answers quickly.
That's why I'm so, so, so grateful for the Al-anon slogan One Day At A Time.
Please, God, grant me patience -- and HURRY UP!
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