seazr

I haven't posted here since last Sept. At that time I had been sober for 5 months and feeling great, kind of. My sobriety has always been a bit difficult because my husband would not miss cocktail hour and all of our friends drink. It's not as much of a problem at home but at our vacation house, where we spend a lot of time, our house is known as the party house. everyone comes over--often uninvited--just to drink. a couple of my friends ever carry flasks in their purse. I was dealing with this well until around the holidays when I decided I would just try a drink. You know how that goes. I could then drink for a day or so and walk away. But the walk aways became shorter and shorter. I have been drinking every day for the last week. I know I cannot drink today--and I won't--but I also now know that I cannot walk away. all of my drinking has been secretive. My friends think I quit for health reasons--which is largely true. My husband would not be the least bit receptive to a recurruing problem. I remembered how good it felt to post here and I went back and reread my old posts. How miserable I first sounded and then better and better as time progressed. I simply can't give that time back--it's not worth it . . . Thanks for listening and being here . . .
Diane

adore79

Hi and Welcome Back!! Try try again as they say. At least you learned that you cant take that one drink during the holidays. Lesson learned.

Ghostlight

Glad you made it back. Hang in there and try not to drink for just today, then, repeat tomorrow.
Sounds like you're in a tough situation with those around you. Wish I had some advice.
You can do it though.

Best wishes,

GL

Anna

Hi Diane,

I think we can try to deceive ourselves into thinking we can have a drink or two, but it never works for very long.

I wonder if you've considered making some changes to your situation. If your husband and friends drink at your vacation house, maybe you could stay home sometimes or just go for a brief time. Or maybe you could go out for a walk when people are drinking. I know it's hard and there are often very difficult changes to make in order to stay sober.

sailorjohn

I don't think your situation is unique in that regard, we surround ourselves with drinkers, usually "problem" drinkers like ourselves. I don't get support today from those folks, I don't expect to.

What I was told fairly early on, were things like "stay away from wet people and places" I don't attend social DRINKING functions, we all pretty much know what those are. I don't hang with my old drinking buddies, there isn't anything there for me, I take no pleasure, don't derive any satisfaction, from watching people sit around and get hammered.

"Whatever it takes" My sobriety is a life or death matter, I have to decide on a daily basis to what lengths I'm willing to go to maintain my sobriety, this actually gets easier with the passage of time.

The last thing they told me, and I rarely hear it, was that "when you walk through those doors you're going to have to leave some people behind" Hard to swallow, but from my past life there is only one person I know that made it, my Dad. Everyone else is still out there and lost. You can do this, but you're definitely going to need some local support.
Good Luck!

scared1107

I had quit for 11 months while I was pregnant and then nursing and I fell into the same trap over the holidays too and now its been off and on for the past few months and the latest was this past weekend. My friends are all drinkers as well...finally I just told them about my drinking problem and hopefully this is my foirst step and second day of recovery. Take it day by day.

BUTTERFLY-7

"LISTEN HERE DEAR I KNOW IS HARD TO BE THE ONLY ONE IN THE HOUSE HOLD OR ROOM TO MAINTAIN SOBER SPECIALLY WITH A HUSBAND LIKE YOURS,BUT SOBRIETY, AND RECOVERY, IS AND INDIVIDUAL PACKAGE,I KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT WHEN I DECIDED TO MAKE MY NEW YEARS RESOLUTION A REALITY, OF SURRENDERING, AND QUITING EVERYTHING, MEANING CIGARETTES,ALCOHOL, MY FAVORITE MARIJUANA,WHY I DECIDED TO QUIT ALL OF THEM AT ONE TIME, BECAUSE I KNOW HOW COMPULSIVE, AND SNICK Y, THIS DISEASE IS, IF I STAY WITH THE CIGARETTES, IT WILL JUST OPEN DOORS ALL OVER AGAIN TO EVERYTHING YOU GOT TO KNOW YOUR SELF, AND YOUR DISEASE, THATS HOW YOU STAR ARRESTING THIS DISEASE,AND WITH THE HELP OF GOD,IT WASN'T EASY AT FIRST, CAUSE MY HUSBAND WILL BRING THE MARIJUANA,BUT I SPOKE TO HIM VERY SERIOUS AND HE SUPPORT IT ME IN IT, I TAUGHT HE WOULD GO ON AND FIND OTHER HANG OUT, AND I EVEN TAUGHT HE WAS CHEATING ON ME, CAUSE MY DAY OF SURRENDERING,WAS 1-9-008, AND I SAW HOW GOD BLESS US, AND HE PROPOSE TO ME MARRIAGE ON 1-30-008, UNTIL HE STAR IT JUST ACTING OUT I GUESS CAUSE I REALLY QUIT AND WASN'T SMOKING WITH HIM, SO HE WOULD COME LATE AT ALL TIMES OF THE NIGHT BUT JUST FOR TODAY I DIDN'T LET THAT DISCOURAGE ME, CAUSE THATS WHAT THIS DISEASE WANTS TO DO TO US DISCOURAGE US, BUT IF YOU REALLY WANT SOBRIETY, CAUSE YOU GOT TO WANT THIS, THIS IS NOT ABOUT I DON'T KNOW,OR I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS TO BE SOBER, THIS IS NOT A GAME THIS IS YOUR LIFE HONEY AND YOU ONLY GOT ONE.THE REASON I'M SO REAL AND STRAY UP WHEN IT COMES TO THIS DISEASE, AND I DON'T SUGAR CODE IT, BECAUSE I'VE SAW WHAT IT DID TO MY MAMA, MY DAD, MY BROTHER, WHO DIE IN 2002,AND MY COUSIN, WHO DIE TO IN 2001,AND I WAS THE ONE TO JUMP IN AND OUT OF RECOVERY, OH BY THE WAY THIS IS NOT MY FIRST TIME IN RECOVERY, BUT JUST FOR TODAY I'M BLESS, THAT THERE WAS A SPACE FOR ME HERE ON THIS WEB-SITE, AND IN THE ROOMS OF A/A ,AND N/A, AND AL-ANON, THIS TIME AROUND I TOLD THIS DISEASE I'M NOT PLAYING NO MORE,BECAUSE IF I WOULD OF STAY CLEAN THE FIRST TIME I ENTER THE ROOMS OF A/A,AND N/A, I WOULD NEVER BEEN DIAGNOSE WITH BIPOLAR, YEAH IS A CHEMICAL DIS BALANCE IN YOUR BRAIN, WHERE IT EFFECTS YOUR ENERGY LEVELS, AND YOUR MOOD, AND EVERYTHING, IT COULD OF BEEN WORTS, SOMETIMES WE DON'T TAKE INTO CONSIDERATION HOW SERIOUS THIS DISEASE IS, DRUGS, OF ANY KIND AND BUZZ, IT EFFECTS YOUR HEALTH PERIOD, DO YOU KNOW HOW FOSTRADE IT IT IS, TO HAVE SLOW SPEECH, OR HIGH RACING TOUGHS, AND TALK WITH OUT YOU BEEN ABLE TO PUT A PAUSE, OR COMMA, AT THE LAST OF YOUR SENTENCE, AND I DON'T MEAN WHEN I'M WRITING I MEAN WHEN I'M SPEAKING,THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL "AWARENESS" THINKING.THINK ABOUT IT THIS IS YOUR LIFE NOT YOUR HUSBAND OR YOUR SOCIAL FRIENDS LIFE BUT YOURS AND LIFE IS A GIFT TO YOU AND WHAT YOU DO WITH IT IS YOUR RESPONSOLBELITY.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jfanagle

Diane,

I initially dealt with and have continued to deal with the environment of "a social venue" that is in a substantial part based on the alcohol culture. If you don't mind I will simply share my experience with you.

I had to make those closest to me aware that I in fact "do have a problem" with MY consumption of alcohol. That in no way was intended to put others on notice that they needed to alter their behavior due to my problem.

This was initially a topic of conversation, but not nearly as much of one as I had imagined that it would be. In fact most people were well aware that I drank differently than the average social drinker. The declaration of this fact allowed me to begin attending AA meetings and thus I was braced by the support of the members of the fellowship and I could continue to participate in the day to day part of my life, but knew of and used the support of AA when it was most important.

My life still consists of a social and business environment that is heavily laced with "social" drinking and in fact I date women who are at least wine drinkers and sometimes social cocktail drinkers as well.

I have been sober 8-1/2 years and I believe lead a very productive and active life while interacting with drinkers on a regular basis. I even have attended the Emmy Awards with a particular lady friend on a few occasions where the parties ran non stop and alcohol was the coin of the realm. Even in this case the producer that was seated next to me offered to get me a "club soda" and commented that "more folks around here should try being sober."

The point being that you can live a sober life and not have to act or be treated like an oddity. It isn't easy, but it is doable.

Best of luck with your search for a sober and healthy life. You need not be afraid that you will be LESS sober, in fact you will be MORE!

Jon

tennis71

Sorry about your situation, no one in your life is making this easy for you.

Have you considered a program where you can learn some crucial tools to maintain your sobriety such as AA and / or Outpatient? For example, you can learn how to set boundaries with your family and friends.

Also, where is your sober support network? Do you have anyone that you can go to if you have an urge to drink? Support is very important to my sobriety and it comes from the people in AA. You might try a meeting in your area.

Just remember, sobriety is a process not an event and it requires some work to maintain. There will be tough times like to one you are currently going through but the payoff is worth it.

I leave you with this to think about - What are you willing to do to remain sober?

Good luck and thank you for your post.

Cathy31

Welcome back!! You know what to do...

Well done.

Cathy31
x

reed

if ya did it before

you can do it again

least

Welcome back! :ghug I've stopped and started too many times to remember, but I'm starting over. You can too.:ghug3