FormerDoormat

One of the biggest obstacles to my recovery was fear of change. My fear of change kept me stuck in a miserable relationship for nearly 25 years. I was afraid to end my relationship and go it alone. I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to handle my finances or the maintenance and upkeep on my home. I was afraid that I'd be lonely, that I'd never find another partner, and that men would no longer find me attractive. I was afraid to leave and afraid to stay.

Then one afternoon when I was watching an old re-run of Seinfeld it hit me. I'd learn to embrace change the Seinfeld way. I'd play the opposite game. You know the episode I'm talking about--the one where Jerry and George decide that since everything they'd done so far wasn't working for them, they'd just do the opposite. For me that episode was not only funny, it was life changing.

I took that philosophy to heart and began to do the opposite of what I had been doing in all aspects of my life. Here are some examples:

• I cut my long hair short.
• I died my dark brown hair a light golden blonde.
• I straightened my curls.
• I began choosing healthier foods (and surprise, surprise I lost weight).
• I tried on clothes that I would never dare to try on--and I bought them.
• I attended social events at work (something I never did).
• I smiled at men I found attractive (and they smiled back).
• I joined Match.com (didn't work out well, but at least I tried it)
• I went after a higher paying job at work and nailed it (and my income improved drastically).
• I started mingling with upper management (I never felt worthy before) and they took me under their wing.
• I took on challenging tasks at work and I excelled at them.
• I began seeking out new friends and new hobbies.
• When I felt shy I forced myself to be more outgoing.
• When I felt like I didn't fit in I convinced myself that I fit in just fine.
• I took more time out for myself and didn't feel guilty about it.
• I stopped doing things that I didn't want to do.

In short, I learned to embrace change and that change is a good thing. And oh yes, that woman I used to be, the one who looked a lot of Elaine Bennis (at least that's what my dad used to say)--well, she's history.

Life is good. Change is good. Embrace it today the Seinfeld way.

Barbara52

That is beautiful! I'm gonna try some of that opposite stuff for myself.

Spiritual Seeker

Change keeps us open to the possibilities.
Former Dormat, I bet you are one blonde short-haired babe !!

FormerDoormat

It was really a lot of fun. I took my daughter clothes shopping with me and let her choose my clothes for one of my Match.com dates. When I was ready for my date, she said "you're a happening looking mom." From the look on his face, I'd say my date liked the outfit too.

When the big boss at work stopped me to say he'd noticed a lot of good changes in me, I told him I'd played the Seinfeld game. We both had a good laugh out of it.

FormerDoormat

You know it, ba-bee! It's nice to feel pretty again. Don't know what I was thinking when I let myself go.

splendra

WOW ((((FD)))

You are just blossoming all over the place! I wanna be like you when I grow up.:bounce

Serenity8

I post on a parenting board too and this is the second uplifting post I've read in the last hour that has mentioned that particular Seinfeld episode. I guess I'm supposed to play the Opposite game too.

Glad to hear it is working for you.

Bernadette

Hey FD - this is so great and really made me think!
Change brings change!!

Thank YOU!!
-B.

sodetermined

Great post....great ideas. I guess I'm gonna play the opposite game, too...with painting my bedroom. (just as soon as I figure out the color)