Focus on recovery
get it, give it, grow in it
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Focus on recovery
My 23 yr. old son told me two months ago that he would die from his addiction + alcholism in his twenties. Today, hopefully he sees a different life for himself.
WooHoo ! He just completed 5 weeks of inpatient rehab. He is allowed his 1st phone call home at 6 weeks. I'm excited to hear from him this weekend.
There is recovery. Let it begin with me. As I recover, accept a HP and seek a spritiual path, my whole family benefits.
5 yrs. of al-anon gives me the tools to keep boundaries & balance, and clean up my "own stuff" in my relationships and in my life. I am grateful for what this fellowship offers both of us. Through the yrs. since he's been an addict, I have learned to focus on myself and realize that I have a lot to recover from too. It is wonderful that my son brought me to recovery just as I brought him.
I nudged him to go to rehab for three yrs. Things happen just when they should. He finally got to a point that he accepted that it was time to go, because he had run out of options, other than the street and the needle. Again, with much interference and prodding from me. I never stopped trying to get him into treatment. I firmly believe when our loved ones are young,
they need guidance to convince them to get the help they need and the family resources to make it happen. It doesn't happen quickly, but IMHO it's mportant to keep nudging them and as difficult as it will be, to stay connected to them.
And to focus on my own recovery and growth.
WooHoo ! He just completed 5 weeks of inpatient rehab. He is allowed his 1st phone call home at 6 weeks. I'm excited to hear from him this weekend.
There is recovery. Let it begin with me. As I recover, accept a HP and seek a spritiual path, my whole family benefits.
5 yrs. of al-anon gives me the tools to keep boundaries & balance, and clean up my "own stuff" in my relationships and in my life. I am grateful for what this fellowship offers both of us. Through the yrs. since he's been an addict, I have learned to focus on myself and realize that I have a lot to recover from too. It is wonderful that my son brought me to recovery just as I brought him.
I nudged him to go to rehab for three yrs. Things happen just when they should. He finally got to a point that he accepted that it was time to go, because he had run out of options, other than the street and the needle. Again, with much interference and prodding from me. I never stopped trying to get him into treatment. I firmly believe when our loved ones are young,
they need guidance to convince them to get the help they need and the family resources to make it happen. It doesn't happen quickly, but IMHO it's mportant to keep nudging them and as difficult as it will be, to stay connected to them.
And to focus on my own recovery and growth.
get it, give it, grow in it
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
FormerDoormat " two-for-one special " ... love that !!
My son is learning to give up booze and drugs.
There is a lot for me to give up too. The more simple I keep it, the better off I am.
Control and rescuing I can give those up. I clung to them for a long time. Don't need them any more.
My son is learning to give up booze and drugs.
There is a lot for me to give up too. The more simple I keep it, the better off I am.
Control and rescuing I can give those up. I clung to them for a long time. Don't need them any more.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Arlington, VA
Posts: 4,290
Originally Posted by Spiritual Seeker 
Control and rescuing I can give those up. I clung to them for a long time. Don't need them any more.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
Awesome post. Thanks for sharing your ESH.
I would dare to say that mentioning that an addict get help should not just be for the young. Any age needs to hear that message in a loving way.
pray for my situation. AS had a court date today - either for eviction or to tow his car (for the third time) as abandoned from the parking lot - either way, it could be the circumstance that strips him of his denial...
I would dare to say that mentioning that an addict get help should not just be for the young. Any age needs to hear that message in a loving way.
pray for my situation. AS had a court date today - either for eviction or to tow his car (for the third time) as abandoned from the parking lot - either way, it could be the circumstance that strips him of his denial...
get it, give it, grow in it
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Sojourner - you absolutely add a wise addendum here, "Any age needs to hear the message in a loving way." With much coaxing, I took my stepdad to his 1st two AA mtgs. not too long ago and now he's been sober 17 mos. Because I had previously taken the advice of al-anon and attended open AA mtgs., I felt comfortable doing so.
He only went to one more mtg. on his own. So even w/o AA, he had stayed sober.
Unfortunately, he hasn't taken a look at his character defects, so they linger.
He only went to one more mtg. on his own. So even w/o AA, he had stayed sober.
Unfortunately, he hasn't taken a look at his character defects, so they linger.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Boston
Posts: 2,936
Guidelines for a "nudge!!!"
Spiritual Seeker-
Thanks for this post & update on your son's and your recovery!
Let me ask you - when you say "nudge towards recovery" can you give me a picture of that? Like what is the language of nudging??
As a recovering codie I'm pretty sure there is 10 feet of SHOVE in my nudges!!!
I guess I haven't been able to finesse these things properly, so I just avoid nudging my A Brothers at all, ever, towards anything...
Any guidance...?
Thanks and Peace,
B.
Thanks for this post & update on your son's and your recovery!
Let me ask you - when you say "nudge towards recovery" can you give me a picture of that? Like what is the language of nudging??
As a recovering codie I'm pretty sure there is 10 feet of SHOVE in my nudges!!!
I guess I haven't been able to finesse these things properly, so I just avoid nudging my A Brothers at all, ever, towards anything...
Any guidance...?
Thanks and Peace,
B.
Leap of Faith Survivor
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 4,555
Originally Posted by Spiritual Seeker
I firmly believe when our loved ones are young,
they need guidance to convince them to get the help they need and the family resources to make it happen. It doesn't happen quickly, but IMHO it's mportant to keep nudging them and as difficult as it will be, to stay connected to them.
And to focus on my own recovery and growth.
they need guidance to convince them to get the help they need and the family resources to make it happen. It doesn't happen quickly, but IMHO it's mportant to keep nudging them and as difficult as it will be, to stay connected to them.
And to focus on my own recovery and growth.
I have followed your journey and I have admired your honesty, strength and courage....I appreciate your recovery and what it takes to strike that balance between your recovery and being a mom to your son...well done....
get it, give it, grow in it
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Awesome words of encouragement from you that puts a bounce in my step today.
Which is great, because I am off to an aerobic class.
I have been a part of this site for almost a yr. now; I am continually inspired, encouraged, humored, grateful and touched by you all.
Which is great, because I am off to an aerobic class.
I have been a part of this site for almost a yr. now; I am continually inspired, encouraged, humored, grateful and touched by you all.
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