hopefully the last day 1 (again)
underacheiver
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: hull
Posts: 22
hopefully the last day 1 (again)
I found this site yesterday,I was drunk.
I hope i didnt offend anyone in the chat room but dont truly recall any conversation I had in there.
This is my 2nd day 1 inside of a week and i hope to get a grip of myself before i fall too deeply into the old routine:wake up swearing to myself,cant believe what i did last night,wont happen again no more drink for me ever,well maybe just a drink today i'll quit tomorrow....wont drink a lot tonight so tomorrow it will be easier.
Next day looking in the mirror briefly at this haunted disshevelled looking person who can barely look himself in the eye,this person who dreads everything and has intense anxiety over even the most meaningless things.
How i wish ther could be a miracle cure.
I'm a 34 yr old male from england,I have drank heavily from the age of 16 and became a full time alky at the age of 21,wasted 13 years of my life in the drink and it will be a short and miserable life if i dont take hold of myself.
I hope i didnt offend anyone in the chat room but dont truly recall any conversation I had in there.
This is my 2nd day 1 inside of a week and i hope to get a grip of myself before i fall too deeply into the old routine:wake up swearing to myself,cant believe what i did last night,wont happen again no more drink for me ever,well maybe just a drink today i'll quit tomorrow....wont drink a lot tonight so tomorrow it will be easier.
Next day looking in the mirror briefly at this haunted disshevelled looking person who can barely look himself in the eye,this person who dreads everything and has intense anxiety over even the most meaningless things.
How i wish ther could be a miracle cure.
I'm a 34 yr old male from england,I have drank heavily from the age of 16 and became a full time alky at the age of 21,wasted 13 years of my life in the drink and it will be a short and miserable life if i dont take hold of myself.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Hi Wolf - it's wonderful you found us, and that at a young age you're recognizing what you need to do. You can turn it all around. Later, more helpful people will appear - being Sunday afternoon many are probably not around right now. I tried for decades to get it right, and now finally have it together at almost 2-1/2 mos. sober. The last time I went back in I felt I was going to die, so I can promise you it only gets worse. Be careful with your withdrawal, though - you might want to read the sticky under "Alcoholism" called "Quitting, what to expect, what we did". It was scary reading, but it helped me alot in January when I had to do it by myself. I know you're miserable right now, but hold tight to your dream of being clean and sober. A whole new life awaits.
We Do Recover
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
"Ditto" to what SF69 shared. I agree. Please don't beat yourself up. Keep reaching out--I could never have recovered on my own. This place has been instrumental in my ongoing recovery. Keep moving forward. :atv
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Baghdad
Posts: 2,822
Originally Posted by WolfonPlain 
.
How i wish ther could be a miracle cure.
I'm a 34 yr old male from england,I have drank heavily from the age of 16 and became a full time alky at the age of 21,wasted 13 years of my life in the drink and it will be a short and miserable life if i dont take hold of myself.
How i wish ther could be a miracle cure.
I'm a 34 yr old male from england,I have drank heavily from the age of 16 and became a full time alky at the age of 21,wasted 13 years of my life in the drink and it will be a short and miserable life if i dont take hold of myself.
Keep coming here, try to get support locally, they have this marvelous group of people that call themselves alcoholics, they meet in church basements and talk about their common struggles with addictions and life in general, you might want to look them up. Good Luck.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Portsmouth UK
Posts: 33
Hi - also on Day One - here down in Hampshire, UK. Know what you mean about the anxiety thing - as well as the merry go round about promising to stop. I'm feeling a bit twitchy now since I don't have any alcohol in the house and the evening is coming on - but I am going to do loads of stuff in doors and try and wear myself out before bedtime so I don't think about it too much. I'll be logging on during the evening to see how things are. Keep going, and let's just focus on today........the rest can wait.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,476
Hi WolfonPlain,
Welcome!
I'm glad you found us.
I know, in early sobriety, I blamed myself for wasting years of my life, too. Although I wish I could have learned those lessons differently, I do believe things happened the way they did so I could learn and so it would bring me to the point where I am today. Life is about learning and moving forward.
Welcome!
I'm glad you found us.
I know, in early sobriety, I blamed myself for wasting years of my life, too. Although I wish I could have learned those lessons differently, I do believe things happened the way they did so I could learn and so it would bring me to the point where I am today. Life is about learning and moving forward.
Seriously Fun!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California coast
Posts: 415
Welcome. I certainly understand. With hope and direction...we can break the cycle. I hated being trapped in the cycle you described. It is painful.
I hope for you the freedom I feel. Day 8 for me.
I hope for you the freedom I feel. Day 8 for me.
Naturally Occuring Phenomenon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 437
Originally Posted by sailorjohn
There is a miracle cure, it's called abstinence. All you have to do to have your life improve 100% in the short term is don't drink TODAY. I can really relate, I've always considered myself to be an underachiever.
underacheiver
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: hull
Posts: 22
Wow! thx to everyone for the kind words of support and the advice,its nice to know that people are here who understand.
Too often i see and hear the words and actions of people who look down on addicts ,more out of ignorance than any real prejudice.
Ever been in the company of a casual aquaintance and heard them call someone "just a bloody plonker,useless fool",and wished you could tell them to open their eyes to a true illness that affects so many people and causes misery to so many more than just the addict?
I lost count of the times
Its nice to have people understand,thanks very much.
Too often i see and hear the words and actions of people who look down on addicts ,more out of ignorance than any real prejudice.
Ever been in the company of a casual aquaintance and heard them call someone "just a bloody plonker,useless fool",and wished you could tell them to open their eyes to a true illness that affects so many people and causes misery to so many more than just the addict?
I lost count of the times
Its nice to have people understand,thanks very much.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
Welcome, what you just described is the exact spot we ended up in my Big Book step study yesterday. The methods to control (not drinking too much tonight) and the swearing off (never again).
In your spare time I suggest reading some out of the 1st 164 pages of the AA Big Book and see if you can relate to any of it. I found that the more I read, the more of my life was actually on the pages.
Either way - 1 day is excellent and you never have to do the 1st day again!
In your spare time I suggest reading some out of the 1st 164 pages of the AA Big Book and see if you can relate to any of it. I found that the more I read, the more of my life was actually on the pages.
Either way - 1 day is excellent and you never have to do the 1st day again!
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