RosieM

Hello, all!
After feeling stuck for a few days, things are really starting to happen.

STBXAH goes to court Monday - and his license will be suspended immediately. He has asked to move back in so I can drive him to work (taxi service, anyone?) since we work at the same place. And I am considering allowing it because....

I got a call from my place of employment back home - and it looks like they will be making me an offer early next week! So I can just pack up my crap and get the heck out of Dodge - and STBXAH can deal with the selling of this house. I don't even care about the equity that much - I'm pretty sure we won't be getting much back in this crazy market.

If he moves back in while I'm here I'm going to ask him to pretty much stay in the basement. He says "But the bathroom is upstairs!" Maybe he can use the drain down there?? Just kidding. Anyway, I think it will be to my benefit to have him here so I can just go go go.

It will be uncomfortable for a few weeks for sure. But it's been that way for awhile.

Trying to chop up my paragraphs, Prodigal - did I do ok?

I'm feeling pretty positive for the first time in awhile. Light at the end of the tunnel.

sailorjohn

Yeah, I was very close to taking the buyout, but lucky me, I'm stuck paying two mortgages as a result of the divorce consent agreement, being the responsible one I decided that wouldn't be right. And besides, my almost 18 year old son is completely under the influence of his prescription drug addict Mom and if he ever wakes up I want to be around to help him, if possible. So I'm stuck in Dodge for a little bit longer, I wanted to just get away from here/her/her so badly. Good Luck!

Barbara52

Hey, that does sound pretty positive! I do hope the job offer comes through for you. Perhaps wait for the offer for him to move in until you are sure?

RosieM

Barb, I'm kind of thinking I'll bail out regardless of the job - if it doesn't come through, I'll just go and rent for awhile and find something once I'm there. I would love to be there by Mother's Day but it was seeming like an impossible goal. Now it's looking like it might actually happen.

Sailor, my grown kids are both back home - so I will be happy to be back near them. I shouldn't have moved away from them in the first place, but thought it would be good for AH to be around his family in his compromised condition. Didn't help him much, they seem have become his new enablers.

But soon I will be far, far away from all that.

lexusgirl

Sounds like things are coming together nicely for you! You also sound like you have given things a lot of thought and you know what you need to do for yourself.

Good luck and I hope you make it back home very soon!

Barbara52

You sound so good Rosie! That is a testiment to the hard work you have undertaken and of how far you have gotten. {hugs}

hadenoughnow

If he is willing to stay in the house and deal with selling it (or at least pay the mortgage) why not? I would have a plan to get out quick just in case and it sounds like you have that. If the job offer comes through and you can get out soon that would be great!

RosieM

Thanks, all, I think so too - although I loathe the idea of spending one night under the same roof after four months of sometimes-blissful solitude! I think the offer is pending - and after that, it's just a matter of a few weeks - giving notice, arranging the movers - and, oh yes, finding a new place to live! It is so grey and depressing here, and when I visited back home everything was blooming, it was just an explosion of color. Of course, summers are something else again - but nothing compared to these ridiculous Midwest winters. I'll take a hurricane over a Midwest winter any day. I reserve the right to modify these statements in August, however!

Kindeyes

Rosie
I am so happy for you! I'll keep my fingers and toes crossed for you that the job offer comes soon!
gentle hugs

Rella927

Rosie many good thoughts coming your way for the job offer! You sound great and you are doing what you need for you! Which is key in life-

Many 's to you!

RosieM

The offer came today! I will give notice on Monday - now have to find a place to move into! Thanks for all the well-wishes! It feels great but a little scary to be moving forward finally!

lexusgirl

Awesome news Rosie!!!

Bernadette

Rosie,
I just read this inspiring thread in the F&F of Substance abusers forum and I think you'll relate to it!

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...oving-day.html

So happy for you that you are moving forward and things are falling into place. It must be scary.

Courage! One day at a time!
Peace,
B.

RosieM

Great link, Bern! Thanks - helps keep me moving in the right direction.

Mair

Well done Rosie (())) im so glad things are going your way.

Mair xx

FormerDoormat

You're about to step out into a whole new life. How exciting. And the best news is you get to choose exactly what kind of life you want to live.

RosieM

Thank you FD and Mair! I'm feeling a little freaked out - this is really the end of the marriage and the beginning of a whole new chapter. I can't wait to be on the road out of here.

Still have a lot to do before I am at that point but things keep progressing. I can't say I'm happy all this happened. I had really imagined my husband and I growing old together and having a happy life together but you don't get to choose what life gives you to work with and so here I am. He's a great guy when he isn't drinking. The sad old refrain.

He is moving back in here on Monday after his license is suspended. I'm glad he will be here to help with the lawn while the house is on the market - and of course to take over the house payments when I leave in a few weeks - and I'm hoping that having him here will make it easier for me to leave, since I will be face-to-face with the reality of what he is now rather than my idealized memories of how we were in the beginning.

He says he's been sober since the wreck Feb. 22 but not really working a program and so it's kind of crazy, blaming me for the wreck since I tossed him out. He just kept on drinking for that whole three months even though he made me believe he quit when I tossed him. Too many lies and too much water under the bridge.

My yoga instructor is also an alcohol counselor. She said she's seen it time and time again - the wife leaves the man and the man finally gets sober. I said -"Well, maybe all of this will finally save his life." And she told me - "We know it's saving yours."

I'm sorry to go on and on. I am so full of emotion today. I want to get away from all his things and the house we bought together in anticipation of a life with each other. I need to start building some new experiences and have some fun!

Mair

You will be fine Rosie, and please dont apologise we are all here for you, and me well i think your awesome and an inspiration to all of us.

Mair

RosieM

I just re-read those chapters from Getting Them Sober Volume 4 about divorce and separation, very, very helpful to know these feelings are normal (in these very not-normal relationships!). If anyone wants the link I'll try to post it.

Getting Them Sober - Volume 4

See if that works. Not sure about posting links on here.

DesertEyes

Works for me, and links to _informational_ sites are fine. It's links to sites that are asking for money, or selling a product, that cause us problems. SR is paid for by advertising fees. The people who pay money to put up ads don't want to see their competition getting to put up links for free.

Mike