RosieM

It's been one month since my AH's alcohol-related wreck. I filed for divorce and am in the waiting period now. I visited back home this past week to try to line up a job and place to stay but frustratingly struck out on both counts. Am hoping something will happen next week on the job front and am re-evaluating my strategy on the house front - think I will end up renting something rather than trying to buy.

My house here is on the market and I have an open house tomorrow. The market is pretty bad and I'm certain to take a bath!

AH is sober, has been since the wreck. No charges have been filed against him and he has no idea what's going on. He says he wants to stay sober and that the wreck was a kind of epiphany for him. He does have a few tools in place and goes to SMART meetings, but that stuff was there before the wreck and it didn't stop him from drinking. I guess a near-catastrophe can have that cathartic effect, but of course I'm not convinced and only time will/would make me more comfortable about believing him.

He's around a little bit and I enjoy his company. He knows we have to split for both of us to heal. Our anniversary is tomorrow, guess that's why it's a little rough right now.

I know I want to move back home. But I wonder if I am moving too fast on the divorce. I want to take action but it sure feels like I'm pushing too hard. But if I step back I might lose my momentum and my resolve and fall back into familiar comforting patterns - that would then be shattered once again when he starts to drink again.

Maybe I should just give myself permission to enjoy the good parts of what the relationship is now, whatever that is - and not expect anything from it, or from him, and just move forward with my plan to move.

Just a little verbal meandering on a Saturday night on SR!

Serenity8

Rosie, when I feel confused like you do about what next steps I should take, I pray for clarity and I pray for guidance.

RosieM

Miz, I think there is no better day to do just that than today. R.

Kindeyes

Rosie
One day at a time........hmmmmmm.......sometimes it just feels like it has to be one minute at a time, doesn't it?
gentle hugs

Cynay

Usually when Im making the biggest changes in my life there comes the moment of self doubt... Today I have to remember that when Im making healthy choices ... they dont "feel" healthy... they dont feel safe either.... but that is my disease and that is what I have to work through....

One day at a time and most often one prayer at a time. The other thing to remember is that a decision made today does not mean that one day down the road I cant change my mind if the circumstances change... that helps me keep from feeling like a decision is life or death.

*hugs*

really_fed_up

Giving yourself permission is an excellent idea...take what you want and leave the rest...and know that you should do what you need to do to move YOUR life forward..

Hugs

RosieM

This is so weird. I was asking for guidance and a sign. Well, today the felony charges were lodged against him - 10 charges! His BAL was .08 - just over the limit. He is going to be arrested tomorrow and has to get the atty, post bail, the whole bit. And the sonofagun is on my sofa again! Too tired to drive back to his bro's and I'm too nice to kick him to the curb. Crap. I know he's scared. Helluva thing. I can't wait to get out of here. Can't believe I have a husband who might be going to jail.

lexusgirl

(((((((Rosie)))))))

Our HP works in mysterious ways. Maybe his legal issues will give you the closure that you need to move on with your life.

peaceteach

Try your best to stay detached, Rosie. YOU didn't do this, he did. He's a grown-up, not your child. He will now face the consequences of his actions.

You are a softie. Maybe HP is trying to take him off your sofa for you...

Barbara52

Amen!