SeekingSelf

I've spent so long exercising total control over my emotions and how I present myself to the world.

And now that I am here, in the place that I am now, I feel like I have no control over them and I just want to let out 20 years of tears.

nogard

crying is fine, just fine, at times I cried all the time coudl not stop, I guess its natural after all that time.

The things I did not do, is act out on my empotions or run and hide from them by picking up or any other way.

It will pass.

Kevin

warrens

When in the grips of addiction, we are forced to attempt constant "control." Hiding, deceit, managing our life so as to continue our drinking. As we recover, there is no need for all of this. We can go anywhere at anytime, do anything, and not revolve everything around procuring, drinking, and hiding alcohol. Its a bloody good first step.

warrens

SeekingSelf

Even this crying doesn't feel like a purge. Man...i feel like I could cry for hours and hours. I wish there was someone I could go to where I could just....cry. and not be judged, and not have them try to fix me. I just want to release all of this emotion that i've bottled up for 20 years

ANGELINA243

Let it out! I won't give advice unless you ask me to. Just don't keep those emotions bottled up for too long--it has the power to kill you.

best

Have you been to the point of feeling no emotions at all?
An emptyness inside?
I felt like that at one point. I couldn't cry if I wanted to and I never wanted to anyway. Once the flood gates opened up, rather then try to shut them, I accepted them as such a joy because I remembered that empty feeling and any feeling was better then that. I will even rather have pain then that empty feeling back again.

Think of them as being alive and enjoy the moment of each tear.