StandFast

Not used for 26 days in a row. I have not been to a meeting in two days --and feel edgy and self pity, and generally pissed off at the world for being sucked into this addiction and messing my life up for no thing.

The good news - I am working ft (thank God) and looking for a job or going to a meeting when I am not. (Barley able to hang on to the job though- not sure how much longer I can get.

I can't help but look back with deep regret of the past and fear for the futre. I can't seem to shake it and I want to so bad.

So, here is my plan: (Nothing, and I mean Nothing will stop me from my 30)!

I am handing my finances over to my dear friend and fantastic money manager (yeahhhhh)
I am going to a 2 hour boundry workship this thurs and next thurs
I am going to meetings friday (really cool one with less 10 people), meeting with my sponser friday night, sat meeting, sunday meetings. and gym at least 2 days.

Job searching and business development in addition.

No wonder I am soooo tired. cancel cancel - I am better and better.

Freedom1990

Having a plan is fantastic! If we don't stand for something, we'll fall for anything

Kudos to you!

best

Don't worry about the future and don't drag the past into today. One day at a time is said for many reasons but mosly because it works the best for us all.

As for being sucked in and pissed off...
A day will come *trust me on this* that you will look back and see how much you have learned of life because of the things you have gone through. You will also look around and see so many new friends and see how wonderful life truly can be. The contrast of the hell we put ourselves through against the blessing that are still to come... Yes you will one day look back and be grateful in many ways for what life has shown you.
It does get better.

Congratulations on collecting 26 one day at a time in a row.

Anna

Best is right.

There will come a time when you understand that addiction brought you to a better place in your life.

It sounds like you're working hard!

nogard

onward and upward

nodrinkingzone

26 Days is awesome, man. I wouldn't have been able to do that a year ago, or six months ago - I have only been able to do it this time by getting through each day, one day at a time, just like you are. Congrats, keep it happening, and stick to your plan - sounds like you're busy and active - enjoy it!

also, WBS (What Best Said)

StandFast

A lot of my aa buddies love to gamble. I dont really get the point. Lets see, stay up all night, spend 1 or 2 hundresd bucks and feel like crap in the morning.

Sounds and feels like another addiction to me.

Especially since finanances are an issue for me.

Feels like another way to keep myself down and opportunitey costs prevent goal achievement.

Thanks for listenign.

Anna

It is another addiction StandFast and it's good you recognize that.

A lot of us have addictive personalities and we have to be careful about moving from one thing to another.

CarolD

Sounds like you are making smart choices SF

StandFast

I am committed to changing my life...

Time goes so quickly, and I belive that I if I go back out, I will be there for years and years....

I have heard the stories at my meetings. It is so easy to forget that we are fighting for our lives.

best

and you will find the fight well worth it. My best dreams could not even start to tell me how good life can be sober.
When they say to stick around till the miracle happens...it is a literal saying.