Exactly What I DIDN'T Want To Hear!
Bring Laughter Wherever You Go
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 357
Exactly What I DIDN'T Want To Hear!
Brace yourself...I'm going to complain again.....big surprise right! 
I've been having all over body pain for the last 15 years. In the last year it has gotten significantly worse. So much so in the last couple of months, that I can barely stand up at times. The pain keeps me awake at night. Walking is very painful. Functioning is difficult.
The doctors sent me for many tests and finally my Rhuematologist said I have Fibromyalgia. That is exactly what I was hoping he wouldn't say. It is such a vague diagnosis. No cure. Simply pain treatment, which I can't accept because I'm pregnant.
If anyone has any experience with this condition, please let me know.
I'm really not the drama queen I appear to be! My posts lately have been about negative things happening in my life.....which is not the norm. I'm not a drama gal and avoid drama as much as possible (when I'm sober ). It just seems like lately.....when it rains it pours!
Anyways, I appreciate any input y'all might have about this condition.
Tay.
I've been having all over body pain for the last 15 years. In the last year it has gotten significantly worse. So much so in the last couple of months, that I can barely stand up at times. The pain keeps me awake at night. Walking is very painful. Functioning is difficult.
The doctors sent me for many tests and finally my Rhuematologist said I have Fibromyalgia. That is exactly what I was hoping he wouldn't say. It is such a vague diagnosis. No cure. Simply pain treatment, which I can't accept because I'm pregnant.
If anyone has any experience with this condition, please let me know.
I'm really not the drama queen I appear to be! My posts lately have been about negative things happening in my life.....which is not the norm. I'm not a drama gal and avoid drama as much as possible (when I'm sober
). It just seems like lately.....when it rains it pours! Anyways, I appreciate any input y'all might have about this condition.
Tay.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
TAY!!! Stop thinking your complaining. Everything I have seen lately are good reasons to be concerned.
And even if they werent..So what.
Thats what we are here for.
I am so sorry to hear about that. It just keeps coming for you.
Wish I had something more I could add.
All I can do is give you this..
And even if they werent..So what.
Thats what we are here for.
I am so sorry to hear about that. It just keeps coming for you.
Wish I had something more I could add.
All I can do is give you this..
Bring Laughter Wherever You Go
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 357
As for my drinking problem.....
Today I've been feeling like a fake 'sober person' because the sobriety I've been having the last week and will have for the next 10 months won't be because I earned it through recovery, it will be because I was pregnant and then breastfeeding.
I'm keeping up with recovery work, but feel as though any sobriety I have since finding out about the pregnancy doesn't count.
Today is 51 days. I know that I won't drink while pregnant. I would die before harming my unborn baby. I didn't drink through my last pregnancy or the first three months after the baby was born because of breastfeeding. So I'm pretty much gauranteed to make a year of sobriety by the time I finish breastfeeding the new baby...that will be sometime in January.
And I'm already feeling guilty about that year, cause it won't have been due to recovery.
I know I'm thinking too much about the future. AND nothing is for sure.....I know there is a possibility that I will drink tomorrow or the next day, I'm not stupid enough to just turn my back on recovery, thinking I have a year of sobriety in the bag. I know I will need to continue to work at staying sober cause I still get the urge to drink. Pregnant or not.
Anyways, just wanted to type that out and get it off my chest.
Tay.
BTW...what's up with the MUSTARD cravings!? lol I can't get enough mustard....gross!
I'm keeping up with recovery work, but feel as though any sobriety I have since finding out about the pregnancy doesn't count.
Today is 51 days. I know that I won't drink while pregnant. I would die before harming my unborn baby. I didn't drink through my last pregnancy or the first three months after the baby was born because of breastfeeding. So I'm pretty much gauranteed to make a year of sobriety by the time I finish breastfeeding the new baby...that will be sometime in January.
And I'm already feeling guilty about that year, cause it won't have been due to recovery.
I know I'm thinking too much about the future. AND nothing is for sure.....I know there is a possibility that I will drink tomorrow or the next day, I'm not stupid enough to just turn my back on recovery, thinking I have a year of sobriety in the bag. I know I will need to continue to work at staying sober cause I still get the urge to drink. Pregnant or not.
Anyways, just wanted to type that out and get it off my chest.
Tay.
BTW...what's up with the MUSTARD cravings!? lol I can't get enough mustard....gross!
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Hey recovery is recovery. You cant think that way.
Take it any way you can.
Being sober for a life growing inside you is a beautiful reason to be sober.
It doesnt always have to be sweat and tears.
Being in recovery for that reason alone is the most unselfish and loving reason I can think of.
Maybe it is a gift from God to ensure your recovery as a way to distract from the other things happening with you.
I am thinking of you sweety.
Take it any way you can.
Being sober for a life growing inside you is a beautiful reason to be sober.
It doesnt always have to be sweat and tears.
Being in recovery for that reason alone is the most unselfish and loving reason I can think of.
Maybe it is a gift from God to ensure your recovery as a way to distract from the other things happening with you.
I am thinking of you sweety.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,497
Hi Tay,
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia many years ago. I had suffered for years with pain and couldn't figure out what the issue was. Finally I got to a neurologist who pinpointed the problem.
The things that helped me the most with fibro were changing my lifestyle. I was lucky enough to be able to stop working fulltime in a high stress job. I started working part-time and trying to remove other stresses from my life. I did find that stopping drinking helped a lot too. I started walking more and found that helped too. The insomnia, due to fibromyalgia, is still a big problem for me. And, I have found no solution for that. But, the pain is much less a problem now, and unless I get overly stressed, it's not really an issue.
This diagnosis is not the end of things. It's a change to change your life and listen to your body.
PM me anytime if you want to talk about this.
I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia many years ago. I had suffered for years with pain and couldn't figure out what the issue was. Finally I got to a neurologist who pinpointed the problem.
The things that helped me the most with fibro were changing my lifestyle. I was lucky enough to be able to stop working fulltime in a high stress job. I started working part-time and trying to remove other stresses from my life. I did find that stopping drinking helped a lot too. I started walking more and found that helped too. The insomnia, due to fibromyalgia, is still a big problem for me. And, I have found no solution for that. But, the pain is much less a problem now, and unless I get overly stressed, it's not really an issue.
This diagnosis is not the end of things. It's a change to change your life and listen to your body.
PM me anytime if you want to talk about this.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
Hi Tay, I am sorry to hear about the fibro. My mother in law has it and I know she has pain and insomnia problems that can be hard to bear at times. I know she takes meds. which are not an option for you due to your pregnancy, and she often says that mild excercise helps her. I hope you and your docs. can find a solution that will work for you during pregnancy and beyond.
And as for your recovery, oh Tay, I cried when I read that you felt like you aren't really recovering because you are not picking up due to your pregnancy. You are such a loving, selfless mother to be able to do this! Do you know how many people can't or won't and how many children suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome because of it? Your recovery is even more beautiful because you are staying strong through a hard time for the sake of your family. You should be sooo proud of yourself. From one mom to another, I love you for what you are giving your babies. Your HP, AA, and your friends here at SR will help you every step of the way, even after baby is born and weaned. You will find your way when that time comes, sweetie. Just for today, right?
And as for your recovery, oh Tay, I cried when I read that you felt like you aren't really recovering because you are not picking up due to your pregnancy. You are such a loving, selfless mother to be able to do this! Do you know how many people can't or won't and how many children suffer from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome because of it? Your recovery is even more beautiful because you are staying strong through a hard time for the sake of your family. You should be sooo proud of yourself. From one mom to another, I love you for what you are giving your babies. Your HP, AA, and your friends here at SR will help you every step of the way, even after baby is born and weaned. You will find your way when that time comes, sweetie. Just for today, right?
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Tay)))
My stepsister has fibromyalgia, too. It was diagnosed after she had her youngest (3 years ago) and she manages with a lot of lifestyle changes. She has other medical problems (a really bad heart), so taking care of her 2 youngest kids is hard sometimes.
Do NOT think that this time in recovery doesn't count. I didn't think I should count the time I was locked up, either, since I was forced to be clean. When I finally stopped lurking here at SR and joined, I got so much support and made so many friends that I WANTED to stay clean!
I have a friend/coworker who is on house arrest, gets drug tested several times a week. He is also forced to stay clean, but I can tell he doesn't want to go back to that life.
I had to tell myself, a lot of times, that if I wanted to use again......it will still be there tomorrow. I did this every day for a long time, until I realized I don't want to use.
Stick around here and around people f2f who want the best for you. Just because you went back to drinking the last time after you finished breastfeeding, doesn't mean you have to this time. You may very well find you don't want to after 10 months.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
My stepsister has fibromyalgia, too. It was diagnosed after she had her youngest (3 years ago) and she manages with a lot of lifestyle changes. She has other medical problems (a really bad heart), so taking care of her 2 youngest kids is hard sometimes.
Do NOT think that this time in recovery doesn't count. I didn't think I should count the time I was locked up, either, since I was forced to be clean. When I finally stopped lurking here at SR and joined, I got so much support and made so many friends that I WANTED to stay clean!
I have a friend/coworker who is on house arrest, gets drug tested several times a week. He is also forced to stay clean, but I can tell he doesn't want to go back to that life.
I had to tell myself, a lot of times, that if I wanted to use again......it will still be there tomorrow. I did this every day for a long time, until I realized I don't want to use.
Stick around here and around people f2f who want the best for you. Just because you went back to drinking the last time after you finished breastfeeding, doesn't mean you have to this time. You may very well find you don't want to after 10 months.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Bring Laughter Wherever You Go
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 357
Thanks Amy;
I've been feeling like I'm falling apart lately. Just so sick from the pregnancy and in so much pain from the fibro, can't stop crying about my Mom. The days feel so heavy and long, when I wake up I can't wait for evening so I can go back to bed. Feeling lonely and sad. I'm chalking it up to harmones. But I'm also giving myself some credit for not drinking. I'm still 'wanting' a drink, so I guess not having one deserves some credit. My sister in law is pregnant and she has a glass of wine almost everyday. I have THOUGHT about doing the same.....my addiction is playing with me....telling me it would'nt be detrimental to my pregnany.......but I'm fighting those thoughts with recovery work. But I tell ya! It sure is hard when you're feeling as down as I do.
Ok, getting off the pity pot. Just had to vent.
I'm just so sick of being sick. Can't wait to feel better.
Tay.
I've been feeling like I'm falling apart lately. Just so sick from the pregnancy and in so much pain from the fibro, can't stop crying about my Mom. The days feel so heavy and long, when I wake up I can't wait for evening so I can go back to bed. Feeling lonely and sad. I'm chalking it up to harmones. But I'm also giving myself some credit for not drinking. I'm still 'wanting' a drink, so I guess not having one deserves some credit. My sister in law is pregnant and she has a glass of wine almost everyday. I have THOUGHT about doing the same.....my addiction is playing with me....telling me it would'nt be detrimental to my pregnany.......but I'm fighting those thoughts with recovery work. But I tell ya! It sure is hard when you're feeling as down as I do.
Ok, getting off the pity pot. Just had to vent.
I'm just so sick of being sick. Can't wait to feel better.
Tay.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Hicktown, PA
Posts: 1,479
It won't be long, Tay, and you will be feeling better, at least on the pregnancy part. You are facing three huge hurdles right now, and you are hurting. It's ok. Let the feelings come, sit with them, know that you are ok, and let the feelings go. Share them here. You are doing a great job. Just keep going one day at a time. Remember what a tremendous gift you are giving your children in giving them a sober parent. I am really, really proud of you Tay. Jomey
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Tay)))
You have so much going on, it's bound to have you feeling down. Jomey's right...feel what you feel, and come here and post/read..it's certainly helped me get through some rough times. When we're used to dealing with feelings by numbing our pain with alcohol or drugs, it takes a good while before that's not our first thought.
As for drinking when pregnant, you are doing the right thing. When I was a nurse, I worked in the neonatal ICU and saw several babies severely affected by fetal alcohol syndrome. I know some women drink "a little" during pregnancy and their babies may be okay, but it is way too big a risk, in my opinion. Besides, you and I both know, we don't do "just a little" of anything, or we wouldn't be here.
You're doing great, and I'm sending you lots and lots of hugs and prayers!
Amy
You have so much going on, it's bound to have you feeling down. Jomey's right...feel what you feel, and come here and post/read..it's certainly helped me get through some rough times. When we're used to dealing with feelings by numbing our pain with alcohol or drugs, it takes a good while before that's not our first thought.
As for drinking when pregnant, you are doing the right thing. When I was a nurse, I worked in the neonatal ICU and saw several babies severely affected by fetal alcohol syndrome. I know some women drink "a little" during pregnancy and their babies may be okay, but it is way too big a risk, in my opinion. Besides, you and I both know, we don't do "just a little" of anything, or we wouldn't be here.
You're doing great, and I'm sending you lots and lots of hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Littleton, Co.
Posts: 3,317
Tay, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia a few years ago after experiencing severe pain and fatigue. I have a combination of Rhumatoid Arthritis and fibromyagia. Things that help me are limiting refined sugar and preservatives. (If your Great Grandmother didn't eat it, you shouln't either.) I also try and get atleast 8 hours of sleep each night, which isn't always easy to do. Exercise is also important.
When I am going through what I call flare up's, all I can do is go to work, come home, and go to bed. At other times I have more energy. You will need to ask your familly for support.
I am praying for you and if you want to disscuss it more jst let me know.
When I am going through what I call flare up's, all I can do is go to work, come home, and go to bed. At other times I have more energy. You will need to ask your familly for support.
I am praying for you and if you want to disscuss it more jst let me know.
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