gypsyrose

I spent a bunch of time at Sober Recovery, about two years ago, because my AH had become so abusive. After many failed attempts and going on medication (antabuse) AH stopped drinking and his behaviour improved. Last Summer, his behaviour started getting scarey again and I'm wondering if it has anything to do with all the medications he gets in the mail from overseas. Ativan, Xanax, Valium and codiene are some of the things I know he is taking a lot. AH's behaviour has always been challenging but there's a difference between challenging and just plain crazy. Can anyone help me understand?

AWEDA

I have worked in a pharmacy for 20 years. These are all mood altering drugs.So yes,these meds will cause him to behave irrationally when taken beyond the prescibed dose. He does not need all these drugs at the same time.Three of them all do the same thing they are anti anxiety drugs. A doctor would not prescribe these all together. He is playing with fire.

laurie6781

Your AH traded one addiction (alcohol) for another, there is nothing Sober about him.

Please go to Alanon or Naranon for YOU. You should not have to constantly deal with bizarre, challenging, and/or on going crazy behavior. You can stop the dance anytime.

When he starts talking, try to imagine a big WHITE DUCK WITH AN ORANGE BILL like the AFLAC duck on the ads, and the duck is QUACKING, because that is what AH is doing, the drugs have him all mixed up and all he is doing is QUACKING.

Please keep posting and let us know how YOU are doing, we do care very much!

Love and hugs,

Done_With_It

I'm not sure where he is ordering them from, but ordering them from 'oversease' alone can be very dangerous, on top of what the others said.

:ghug3

tanyapmc

I agree that he has switched one addiction for another. I don't think his meds are really "prescribed" if he is getting them from overseas. And xanax goes to the same pleasure center in the brain that alcohol does. I have heard it called alcohol in pill form.

I agree that you should go to Alanon. You can only save yourself here.

Keep posting.

devastated

I agree with the others....he is addicted! No one needs all that medication. He is really playing with fire!

Hugs, Devastated

gypsyrose

Thanks for all your replies. I was wondering if anyone had any experience with or knew of any research regarding the effects of abusing these drugs. But I guess what I really need is to remember is that it doesn't matter if it's alcohol, drugs, mental illness or just plain abuse, it's still just quacking isn't it? I do accept that there is nothing I can do to change his behavior, only my own. I guess I'm hoping educating myself will help me to continue changing my own behavior more gracefully. I want to deal with life by coming from a place of love, not fear, anger or denial.

duet_4-8

It has everything to do with those drugs. That's a lot of drugs and the first three are basically the same thing; they are all Benzodiazepines (do a google search for more info). He is on a fast track to killing himself (or someone else).

My exh used valium along with narcotics and he could get really nasty on them. Pretty much the same effect as drinking only without the smell.

If he has been using a lot of these for very long, it can be dangerous to just stop (not that he would, but..). He would need to be weaned off of them by a real doctor.

Wishing you good luck! :ghug

LaTeeDa

Hiya gypsyrose. Sorry to see you back again. It seems to me that not much has changed in the past couple of years. He's still making the choice to abuse substances (doesn't really matter what they are) and be abusive, and you're still making the choice to try and "understand" him.

I hope the day is near when you realize that you are a beautiful person who doesn't deserve to live life attached to a madman. And that your beautiful children deserve to live in a home full of peace and joy.

Sending positive vibes your way,

L

gypsyrose

Thanks LaTeeDa,

It's true. I'm cruising the internet for answers again. The main difference this time is that I am not trying to understand for him but for myself. I'm not trying to fix him, only to be the best person I can be... living with love, not fear, anger and denial. You'd be proud of me. I've arranged to spend winters with my children in the mountains skiing and we only see AH on weekends. He's proud of his boys' acomplishments on the race team and we get time apart every year. A win win situation.

How are you doing?

bluebelle

My AH's DOC was codeine, and it made him a real mess. He kept saying that the pills weren't a problem. I listened to him for too long, and was in denial myself. He was getting the pills from doctors, friends, and later, through the mail. It got to the point where he was obsessed with the pills, and it became the most important thing to him.

BayAreaPhoenix

I'm with Bluebelle. My AH also was/is using codeine. He's a mess Just try having a sane conversation with him!

LaTeeDa

I am doing great, thanks for asking. I don't want to hijack the thread, but I have to say that my life is expanding in many ways now that I've let the obsession with "him" go. My children were in therapy for about a year, but they are now well on their way to an acceptance and maturity I never thought possible.

I think of you sometimes and wonder about the abuse you have posted about in the past, and are alluding to again today. I always hope that your family is not one of those stories on the news. You know the kind--he always seemed like such a nice guy, no one ever thought he was so troubled, etc.

I totally understand wanting to come from a place of love. I always wanted that, too. What I didn't know at the time was my concept of love had become skewed and twisted. I didn't make loving myself and my children the highest priority. I thought I could love him out of his addiction. It didn't work and the cost was high. My children saw role models in me and him that were not what a marriage should be. They learned that men treat women badly and women stick around and take it because of "love." Thus the therapy.

Anyway, I know what I say will not change what you are doing or will do. You must walk your own path, just as your AH must walk his. It just pains me to see the slow, inevitable progression, especially when children are involved.

Much hope and peace to you,
L

MsPINKAcres

My AH is very much addicted to RX pills - It doesn't matter how, where, from whom or what when he wants those meds - he will get them.

He is a totally different person. As probably most of us here can tell you, as soon as I look in his eyes, he doesn't even have to speak a word - I know that he is taking those pills. Like all addictions, it is cunning, baffling and powerful.

It is disheartening to hear this, but my AH actually had 3 yrs in recovery, working an awesome program - The changes were breath taking. But the disease took back over and recovery is not part of his life anymore.

Please continue to take care of you - my best self-care is having the Plan B (even C & D) which didn't happen overnite - but eventually it will have me in a better place, away from this endless chaos and danger.

Wishing you the peace and serenity of the program and the strength to follow your HP's path to a life that is Happy, Joyous and Free,
Rita

Kimm992

My mother has been addicted to prescription pills (codeine, percocet and oxycodone) for about 15 years. For some reason addicts seem to justify it in their heads because they're "prescription" drugs. Some people think that if you can get them from a doctor then they're not the same as using heroine off the street, etc. It's actually just as bad.

Please stick around here...everyone is just amazing for support....and hang in there!!

*hugs*

warrens

Medicating without a Doctor's supervision is like doing your own appendectomy.

The results can be fatal or as described here by others.

He is playing with fire and you could end up as kindling. Seriously.

True recovery must, I think, involve the ability to think rationally and intelligently. Becoming one's own pharmacist is not an indication of that. Just my opinion.

Good luck!

warrens