Aysha

Some of you know I finally started going to meetings. I cant go except Fridays and Sundays.
I like the Friday one because there is alot of people in that one. There are also alot of people with alot of time in. (potential sponsors)
With some of the posts here and some of the shares I have heard at meetings on sponsors. I am really scrared about this process.
But I know I need one.
I have been told to get a temp..and to wait at least a month to get a permanant one. To make sure you interview them like your life depends on it.
But I already feel like a burden even having to ask someone to put up wiht me.
I am alot to handle sometimes. I know this.
If I posted even half the crap I wanted to on this site. You guys would get so sick of me if you arent already.
I can be needy. Then really stubborn.
I know I need someone who first and foremost can give it right backto me and isnt afraid to call me on my $hit. SOmeone who will have no problem saying hey look. This is how it is.
But in a respectable way.
At the same time...I do have a big head. I will be the first to admit it. And I can be a jerk sometimes when I feel I am being challenged. So I dont want someone that is going to come off arrogant and a know it all.
does this make sense?
I also think I would benefit from someone who has been really close to my situations. Sorta came from the same craziness I did.
Who understands all the extremes I went to. I left no stone unturned in my addiction.
Are my expectation too much?
Or am I just rattling on again?
I know this....I am really scared to go through this part of it.
Someone enlighten me please.

gravity

Hi chiynita,

I have found a sponsor & the step work to be critical to my recovery. I kind of lucked out with mine - the first AA person I talked to (by phone) turned out to be my sponsor. We may not seem much alike (his 'drinking style' was different from mine, he also has a cocaine addiction & I don't) but we are both alcoholics & speak the same language.

All I can suggest is to ask one of the women with long term sobriety for her thoughts, some options. Maybe make it clear that you are not asking her specifically to be your sponsor (unless you are). I sometimes wonder if people with long-term sobriety feel obligated to offer to sponsor any newcomer regardless of suitability (just an honest question, I don't know for sure).

And I wouldn't worry about putting too much on people's plate. That's one of the things a sponsor is for. They are always willing to help. Actually, I find that most people in AA with their heart in the right place are like that.

Good luck! D

Pinkcuda

Nothing will ensure sobriety like working with others.(that's right out of the book) Most potential Sponsors know this already. Therefore by sponsoring you they will be helping themselves stay sober. Basically, you will be helping them as much or more than they will be helping you. Therefore, you needn't feel like a burden.

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

It is great to be reading this Trish! I'm doing a happy dance over here..

What you wrote is what you should say to someone who you are considering. Just be upfront, find someone who has what you want, someone who's shares resonate with you.

353

Drugs and alcohol absolutely kicked my behind. After years and years of trying to do it my way I finally gave up. I surrendered, figured crap, after so many years of doing it my way and getting nothing but messed up and aggravated maybe I should just try what these sober people are telling me. If I just follow the instructions I seem to get better everyday. I noticed that the more I changed my view of things, out of desperation, the better I felt. I never wanted to listen or ask help from anyone cause, darn it, this is my problem and I can handle it...yea right. When I started looking at people around me as trying to be helpful and not bossing me around I started to get a new attitude and outlook.

Remember this always, when you ask for help or call someone you're not the only one benefiting from the contact. I know it's hard to understand when you're new in the program but you're helping the other person as well. That's just the way it works and I used to wonder how and why but I don't anymore, I just know it does and try to help others all I can.

You take care of You.....God's Peace

Aysha

I am just like you were 353. Couldnt tell me nothing.
I also let all the advice go in one ear and out the other.
I just started letting my resistance down after Christmas On my last stay in treatment. I totally surrendered. FINALLY!
And yes it has made a huge difference.
I am more open minded and accepting of others thoughts. Instead of being like..That person has got me messed up. Dont talk to me about this and that. You dont know me.
I am over that pretty much.

nogard

get and read the sponsorship pamphlet and they are right take a temp sponsor and talk to them about how they will gyuide you, also ask them about getting a sponsor

Get a sponsor in NA is part of doing the program it helps both the sponsor and the sponsee

Kevin

Rusty Zipper

miss chiy, recovery from dopey thinking is about Ego deflation..

a sponser that can help with that without being a a-hole is the one i looked for...

my first one was a a-hole, (did get me through the steps have to add, and good too!)

now i got the correct one for me...

happy hunt'n Miss C

rz