Bean

Long and short of the story. I have been with A CAH for nealy 12 years. He has stayed clean for long periods over the years, but has always relapsed.
I have given so much of myself over the years trying to "help" him, trying to believe this will get better, go away.
I cannot believe it has taken me this long to see that it is not going to go away, he is not going to get better. And I need for ME to get better.
I have told him to move out, we are in the midst of working it all out. I just need to stay strong and follow through for once in my life, for my sanity, for my childrens sake.
I will need this place more then ever for strength and guidance through this. I have tried to find success stories with Crack addiction and frankly they are hard to come by
Well thanks for listening! It is funny I have been full of idle thrreats in the past and always clung to some sort of warped hope. This time is sooo different. I am so done and feel at peace with him leaving. I am almost excited to start over with no fears, no more lies, deciet, hiding my things, car keys, no more sleepless nights!!
Thanks guys!!!!!!

hello-kitty

Hi Bean. Congratulations on your decision and moving forward in your life. There is nothing we can do for people when they are addicted to drugs. We must do for ourselves. Good for you!

outonalimb

Hi Bean,
Welcome to SR !!

I remember thru all of the struggles with my exah...everyone kept telling me that I would know when it was time to leave the insanity behind. I remember thinking...yea...right...I struggled with trying to fix things for so long that I honestly didn't think I'd find my way out of the muck. But...everyone was so right...one day I just woke up and knew I couldn't do it anymore and a wave of relief and hope washed over me.

I'm glad you found this site. Its been a true God-send for me. I hope it is for you too !!!

WELCOME BEAN !!!!!!!!!:ghug3

StillLearning1

Hello Bean,
Welcome! I too loved, married and had children with a man who used crack. I even thought at one point he would be one of the success stories. So far he is not in sobriety let alone recovery. I believe I tried everything humanly possible- to help him. The addicts in recovery who come here and share their stories- their knowledge have been so helpful to me. A blessing when they share.. There is nothing we can do. They have to do it. It helped me to detach, also helps me because there are times when I question myself and the past.. thinking there is something I must have done wrong, or not well enough or something - well the would ofs, could ofs, should ofs...
Not for him.. now my children or myself?? Definately- can't change the past but I can choose to be different and do differently in the future.
This site has helped me a lot.. I wish the same for you!!

Sierra-Jess

Welcome to SR Bean, you are in the right place for wonderful support. Hugs to you for making a decision that is best for you and your children.

Impurrfect

(((Bean)))

Welcome to SR and congrats on taking care of you and your children!

I am a recovering crack addict, and I left my XABF because he wants to continue using. I just celebrated a year clean, so there ARE success stories of crack addicts. As with any other addiction, we just have to want to work at recovery even harder than we ever worked at getting high.

I came to this forum because I am very much a codie (codependent) and there are some wonderful people here. I am convinced that if I hadn't begun on my codie recovery, I wouldn't have a year clean from crack....there is so much more than just using to an addiction. Learning how to live without trying to "fix" everyone else and their problems has been difficult, at times, but it is so worth it.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy