I am ready for Boundaries
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 9
I am ready for Boundaries
:wtf2
This last week with my girlfriend has been HELL. Not only am I not living with her now after 5 years, but I allowed the relationship to go on even after she said during that time "we were sleep...in la la land". Uh huh not I. I was there! Present every moment giving everything imaginable. Now, my focus is changing time does help with healing but not living together aint bad either!
She's come over to my house the other night Blitzed...rambling on about me treating her second-rate and not like other friends. Then last night I showed up at the dance class we take together and she was Blitzed again...but trying to mask things with lotion and gum. Said she was dis trot because she got a speeding ticket. Left me a message after the class where she said she wants to be vulnerable and allow me to help her. She thinks the cop took or she lost her drivers license when she got a speeding ticket yesterday so she wants me to help her setup an identity theft protection. She has kids in her home that can help her but she wants me. I said I'd show her kids but she said she's not talking to the oldest!
I finally wrote down my boundaries after praying...I must protect me. I'm ready. I am so ready that she may leave and thats her choice but my choice is that I need to be healthy! Every time I come out with more questions than answers.
This last week with my girlfriend has been HELL. Not only am I not living with her now after 5 years, but I allowed the relationship to go on even after she said during that time "we were sleep...in la la land". Uh huh not I. I was there! Present every moment giving everything imaginable. Now, my focus is changing time does help with healing but not living together aint bad either!
She's come over to my house the other night Blitzed...rambling on about me treating her second-rate and not like other friends. Then last night I showed up at the dance class we take together and she was Blitzed again...but trying to mask things with lotion and gum. Said she was dis trot because she got a speeding ticket. Left me a message after the class where she said she wants to be vulnerable and allow me to help her. She thinks the cop took or she lost her drivers license when she got a speeding ticket yesterday so she wants me to help her setup an identity theft protection. She has kids in her home that can help her but she wants me. I said I'd show her kids but she said she's not talking to the oldest!
I finally wrote down my boundaries after praying...I must protect me. I'm ready. I am so ready that she may leave and thats her choice but my choice is that I need to be healthy! Every time I come out with more questions than answers.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: California
Posts: 303
I just became aware not too long ago that I can establish boundaries in my relationships (not just the one with my AH).
What I learned today is that not only can we establish boundaries, we can also change them as need be. Someone here said you can draw your line (boundary) in the sand, does not have to be in concrete (or something close to this!).
I can relate to the "asleep in la la land" comment. That would be my AH. While he was busy being drunk 90% of the time, and not paying attention to me, the kids, our financials, I was trying to hold it all together. And I did hold it together.
Keep on posting your thoughts/questions. SR has been invaluable to me, and I've been here only for a month!
Shivaya
What I learned today is that not only can we establish boundaries, we can also change them as need be. Someone here said you can draw your line (boundary) in the sand, does not have to be in concrete (or something close to this!).
I can relate to the "asleep in la la land" comment. That would be my AH. While he was busy being drunk 90% of the time, and not paying attention to me, the kids, our financials, I was trying to hold it all together. And I did hold it together.
Keep on posting your thoughts/questions. SR has been invaluable to me, and I've been here only for a month!
Shivaya
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