xXBacktoBlackXx

Hey everybody.

I have missed all of you but I've been reading your posts, even though I don't reply...I feel like I'm too far in a rut to be able to give anything resembling advice or what not. Everyone of you is in my heart, though.

I just thought I would post because I am tempted to drink over the next couple of days. I promised my boyfriend I would not drink while with him...he is leaving on a trip tomorrow to go to LA for a couple of days and will be back on Wednesday. I do not want to break this promise to myself or him. For whatever reason, I am feeling really insecure about this trip. I know there are so many beautiful people in LA and he is going to a movie premiere...he got invited and wants to be a scriptwriter. I trust him but I am worried that he will see all these amazingly beautiful, talented people and come back to this state and wonder what he is doing with me and with his life here. I don't know why I feel so much anxiety about this. I just do not want to be alone even though I want him to be successful. Ay.

Anna

Hi, Good to see you!

I used to not want to be alone either, and eventually, when my husband was away, I would drink alone. Bad idea. Anyways, now I thoroughly enjoy time by myself and look forward to it. The difference is that I learned to like/love myself. Focus on yourself. I tried to stop drinking because my husband wanted me to stop and made lots of promises. It wasn't until I decided to do it for myself that I was able to make it.

My advice is to plan to do something nice for yourself while your boyfriend is away.

resistra

I would say - don't drink, and get ready to pack your bags and go with him if he gets a full time gig. Your insecurity is only going to hurt you, him and your relationship. Ditto to Anna's post.

He needs your strength and support while he's gone, which is why he's counting on you not to drink - Not your greatest weakness coming out in his finest hour.

You really should be happy that things are moving forward!

PS: I'm trying not to be crass with this post, but matter of fact about it. He's with you for a reason. I assume you know why. Try thinking about that while he's gone instead of what or whom he goes to visit.

lovingseren

Our minds are full of anything we choose to put into them.....keep your thoughts positive and listen to what Anna and Resistra are saying.
He is with you for a reason, learn to love yourself too.

Seren

Dee74

I'm with Resistra actually - you are an intelligent, funny and caring woman - I know that from this place. Anyone would be mad to give you up.

Stop it, ya doofus

LOL
oh and yeah don't drink...solves nothing, makes you feel worse tomorrow, re-inforces these silly insecurities...you know the drill ...
D

Rowan

I understand the insecurity you describe. I lived in that fear for a long time, and it's gotten much better over time, as I've worked hard at my recovery and learned to love myself.

I think Anna's suggestion of doing something nice for yourself while he is away is a good one. And, whenever possible, keep the focus on you and on getting well. The 'what ifs' of the world will drive us crazy if we are willing to go there.

It's always good to see you here - I've missed you.

nogard

you got good advice here so don't pick up and in fact do some more work on you, for a kick off post here some more

stone

Being alone was a big trigger for me too. In fact it's the number 1 trigger still, I still feel it--I just dont drink on it.

I know what youre saying about your BF but being sober is something you do for you, like Anna said learning to like yourself is important.

xXBacktoBlackXx

Thanks everyone. :-) I work tomorrow so that'll be good and then I'm planning on working out after work. We'll see. I'm just trying to get a new perspective on life. Thanks again. I enjoy reading everyones posts.