jen960

I have been trying to make a decision as to how much contact I should have with my AH that I am separated from. I have been trying to over analyse how much contact I should have so that I don't get in the way of him maybe hitting his rock bottom or coming to his senses etc etc. I had a phone call from an Nar Anon member and I then started to discuss this with her. She simply asked me how much contact I would like to have. It then dawned on me that I was too busy thinking about what is best for him rather than me! I hope this helps someone else too.:ghug

imallright

Wow. I am right there with you. I worry about what he needs, not what I need. That is why I am still here. I think I have taken care of my AH for so long that I didn't even realize that I was doing it... does that make sense? I can't believe how sick his addiction has made me and until the past few monthys, I didn't even know it. I just thought I was nuts, going thru mid-life crisis or just didn't love him any more. The reality, is I just don't want to live this way any more and that I am living with this pain because of the addiction....even it he is not using right now. The behavior is still present, the drug just isn't right at the moment. This forum is a life saver. Each time I come back I feel like I move another step. Thanks for listening and thanks for posting. Keep coming back.