RosieM

Here is what has happened in one week.
* Estranged AH is in alcohol related wreck, injures a family of four and himself, totals both vehicles. He had been living elsewhere for two months, supposedly clean and sober and working a program.
* I filed for divorce and served him papers
* I engaged realtors both in this town and my hometown down South
* I called the movers and they are coming to give me an estimate on Tuesday
* I sent my news and resume to friends in my hometown and they are looking for jobs and homes for me
*I started getting this house ready for sale
* I saw two therapists
* I somehow managed to keep myself from falling apart

One week ago, I never would have thought I would be in this situation. It feels good to be moving forward, but I am so sad! However, every day is easier. R.

Barbara52

Wow! You have been thru so much and accimplished so much in this short week! You are showing great strength.

DESIGNER

Wow rosieM I am sorry you are going through all this. Hang in there. Mine all happened in a weeks time frame and boy it was a crappy week. Doing a little better today....just need to give it time.

I had a question though....was this his first alcoholic related crash that involved another car? Just wondering because the xabf drives drunk all the time and has never gotten a dwi or has been in an accident. I can't believe that all these years have gone by and he has never gotten caught and he has driven WASTED....falling out of his truck as soon as that car pulls into the driveway.

RosieM

Thank you guys, I definitely need an "Amen" from the congregation because I'm feeling a little weepy.

RosieM

Designer, this was his first alcohol related wreck or offense. He drives around drunk with open containers in his truck all the time so it's just a miracle nothing has happened before this. Kind of makes you think twice before you get out on the road, doesn't it??

Barbara52

Feeling weepy is normal! Being strong does not mean you don't feel all the emotions that go anlong with an end and a beginning.

DESIGNER

Feeling like that a lot lately.....just know that you are not alone....there are many of us out there. I just wish that we could all just meet each other. I think that sometimes I talk to all of you on here more then my friends or family. Just hang in there......sunny days are just around the corner.

Wow amazing how they can drive drunk all the time and nothing happens to them. I guess your AH just proved that one wrong. I pray that when this happens to my exabf that it is nothing to serious and no people are seriously injured but i hope that it is enough to shake him up a a bit. I know that it will eventually happen....if it doesn't then he has an awesome gaurdian angel around him or something.

Janitw

Hi there Rosie.......your feeling weepy??? Well hunny at least you CAN feel.....our XAH's don't. My XAH has had 6 dui's and never involved another vehicle or injured anyone else...I hope you won't feel any financial burden from what he has done. You may want to check with your lawyer ok....

Hang in there. You will feel better as time moves on. I am soooo glad that you have family and friends that are in your corner.....that is half the battle hun..

Janitw

Ragazza Miele

Rosie, Weepy is so normal and it actually feels good sometimes. The actual breakup/separating part from my AH happened very quickly. Fast enough to make your head spin, so I know where you're coming from. It's been a year now and I'm still weepy on occasion. Probably more than I feel like I should be, but its almost as though the real reality of it a year later, the mourning finally set in. I am so much happier, and so much better, but it doesn't mean you are not sad for what you lost, what you wanted from it, yet probably never truly got. I know I didn't. I have to keep that in perspective. The longer away from it I get, the more sad I can feel sometimes, but in reality, if I think back enough, I fantasize alot of what I thought it was. So I can tend to mourn what it really wasnt', just what I wanted it to be, what I thought it was supposed to be. You know, the white pickett fence and all........My therapist told me to go ahead and weep, it's good for me. So you do the same. Get it out and then begin your new life. It will be exciting with the alcoholic lifestyle gone.:ghug3

nowinsituation

Rosie - You have dealt with a lot in a very short time frame. Add the trauma of the accident and no wonder it is overwhelming. I made similar changes in my life, but did it over a few months and it was still a lot to process emotionally in that short time frame. The best thing you can do is take the time to cry and to feel the pain. There are so many here that are living proof to us that it DOES get better. That is what scared me for so long -- will it really be better on the other side?? I am starting to feel more hope and optimism myself, so have faith. Just don't try to deny or bury your emotions because they will not stay there.

gjfc3

Weepy is Ok Rosie! Weepy is healthy in fact...you are able to express emotions that may have been bottled up for some time. We will probably have many of these days over the course of the next couple of years I imagine. Let me just say that I am so very proud of you and I will share your weepy day with hopes of alleviating some of your pain. I am thinking of you!

:ghug3
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Pajarito

Rosie, I read your list and was amazed. I am starting/in the process of doing some of those same things and am completely overwhelmed. I've been dragging my feet with the divorce papers- why? I think part of it is fear, part sadness, part just so busy. I am determined to finish them this weekend. You inspire me. Stay strong- and weepy is part of being strong if you ask me. It's healthy to feel everything-especially with all you've done and been through. (((Take care)))

minnelson6200

AMEN! You are doing it! Keep going. I'm impressed by the strength and courage you are showing. You've accomplished a lot in only a week.

FormerDoormat

Now THAT's the way to take action. Bravo!

Growing

Rosie...I am still grieving the loss of what I "thought" I had before I moved far away from my entire dysfunctional family (I only speak to 2 of them..once a month on the phone)...had a really bad night a few days back...hang in there...I don't assume to know what you are going through with your spouse...but I am with you in spirit.