Notices

Day 7

Old 02-28-2008, 07:01 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 62
Day 7

One thing that has helped me to go through this the second time is to understand what is dominating my thought patterns. I work alone and am alone a lot - however, like last night I think... man it sure would be great if I just... but wait, my next door neighbor didn't drink tonight, neither did his wife. My wife hasn't had a drink since the new years party (and I didn't drink at all that night as I was designated driver),

why do I need one? Should I? Well if THEY can do without the meds/booze, then surely I MUST be able to because they do it without even thinking about it.

And here I am thinking about it. This is kinda dumb... Am I obsessing on getting a buzz? Let me rethink what happens. I get my buzz, in a few hours it'll be 3 AM and it'll be over with. I'll have to get up 4 hours later with a headache, and I'll feel like crap. Then I'll spend the next 8 hours waiting for my body to get back to normal again. Ugh. Why do I want to wait until 3-4 pm tomorrow to feel normal again when I can get a lot of decent work done, not to mention get up and actually comprehend the stuff that's posted on SR - without the headache.

Ok, I'm convinced this buzz thing is not such a good idea. What now. 2 episodes of MASH come on at 11 (which I've always loved the reruns), so I down some melatonin (for what little good it does), lay down in bed and relax - my backup plan is if I can't sleep I've got a new Vince Flynn book that I started earlier today I can get into quickly... Plan works without the backup. I wake up this morning with a minor sinus headache but one hot shower and an advil later it's gone. Now it's 9:37 AM and I've already gotten an hour+ of comprehensive work done and I feel like a normal human being.

I'm happy. Now about tonight - I think that if I can just re-run these same thoughts again without fail - I will succeed another day without having to get a buzz on.

So far, so good. I just need to keep my thoughts focused on two things:
1. Nobody else that I know, obsesses about drinking - or just 'has to have one'.
2. So that must mean, if I need one, it is dominating my thoughts - not so with others that I know.
3. I guess my chemical need is gone for now. It just makes sense to me that 'having a drink' is a thought process that needs to be eliminated or pushed aside, with something productive or lazy to substitute for those thoughts.
4. There's still that six pack of 16oz ice brews sitting in the bag in the back of the suv. Why do I keep it there? As a backup? No, actually it's taken on a new life as a reminder - that if I open just ONE of them, then all SIX will be gone within two hours or so - and there will be hell to pay. My stash of crushed empties is still here - I haven't cleaned them out yet. Don't want to. I drank all THAT? I must have been crazy!
If I got rid of the six pack, there's a worse problem that lurks 400 yards away - the convenience store has those 24oz 8% singles I can pick up for 1.29. And that was my devil for the last 2 years.

Yeah - I only drank two beers a night. BIG 8% ONES.

The six pack in the SUV I do not fear. It's those cheap singles I may go look at if the six pack were not there. This is a strange kludge - Since I've got that nasty six to remind me, I have no need to buy a single - or even think about it.

This hasn't been so much hell for me as it seems for others, but trying to create a sense of mind that give me a decent workable thought pattern - an excuse NOT to drink - is so much easier than fighting it with nothing.

That's it for day 7. Onward we go.
resistra is offline  
Old 02-28-2008, 07:20 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
member
 
Mattcake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Well done Resistra! I'm on day 7 too

Personally, I don't know how you managed while having a stash of beer at hand. I have a friend staying over who of course showed up with a bottle of Jaggermeister which went untouched. She's leaving today and I've already planned my strategy: I'm pouring $40 worth of herby poison down the toilet the moment she walks out.

And yeah, doesn't it feel good to be hangover-free?? My drinking was so bad towards the end that it took me a full day to recover, and I'd still feel woozy the day after that.

I'm glad it hasn't been hell for you, we seem pretty much alike in that way. Yesterday was the first day I felt almost normal in years - the worst of withdrawal is over, I hope. No bad cravings so far. But I've struggled a bit with those musings as well like "hmmm, why not? just one". Purely out of habit I guess. Then I shrug it off and do something else instead. But I don't want to get cocky, I'm still very aware of the danger of "just one". I haven't been to AA, but I have been mulling steps 1 and 2, and that keeps me grounded right now.

Anyway, best to you

Matt
Mattcake is offline  
Old 02-28-2008, 07:29 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 62
Yeah... One of the big differences of quitting this time as opposed to two years ago for me is that I decided to seek out a forum - being here gives me a daily sense of accountability that I didn't have last time. And being able to do this from home instead of seeking out a fellowship type of group means I don't have to call a sponsor who may or may not be there - heck, there's hundreds of people that I can get feedback from here anytime I need it. Which is totally awesome.

Same to you and thanks for the response.
resistra is offline  
Old 02-28-2008, 07:48 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
member
 
Mattcake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Agreed, I couldn't have come this far without this forum.
Mattcake is offline  
Old 02-28-2008, 09:05 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
adore79's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: WA, USA
Posts: 2,591
Originally Posted by resistra View Post
So far, so good. I just need to keep my thoughts focused on two things:
1. Nobody else that I know, obsesses about drinking - or just 'has to have one'.
2. So that must mean, if I need one, it is dominating my thoughts - not so with others that I know.
3. I guess my chemical need is gone for now. It just makes sense to me that 'having a drink' is a thought process that needs to be eliminated or pushed aside, with something productive or lazy to substitute for those thoughts.
4. There's still that six pack of 16oz ice brews sitting in the bag in the back of the suv. Why do I keep it there? As a backup? No, actually it's taken on a new life as a reminder - that if I open just ONE of them, then all SIX will be gone within two hours or so
Thats a good list of things to consider during a craving. I especially like the one about substituting some other activity in.
adore79 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:23 AM.