NYC_Chick

I'm not sure what is wrong with me. I keep having mini (thank God, not full) panic attacks. Someone said on another thread that sometimes they are really down or have problems before a break through. Has anyone else had this?

I feel like I don't know up from down today. My xabf keeps popping into my mind. I was reading something for work last night and someone had his last name. It's not common, so it shocked me a little bit. Maybe that's it. Anyway, I'm not sure whether to run out of the building due to the panic, or sit at my desk and cry. I haven't felt this down for a while. Maybe I'm thinking too much today.

Thanks for listening!

Barbara52

{hugs}

Sometimes when we are blocking emotions they find a way out anyway. Perhaps taking sometime to let yourself just feel and react might be helpful.

Kindeyes

gentle hugs to you NYC Chick. We all have our bad days.

Don't beat yourself up for feeling what you are feeling. Let it out and let it go. I too suffer from the occasional panic attack (actually had paramedics respond once because I thought I was having a heart attack!). I have learned why they happen and can feel when they are going to happen and I am better able to cope with them now BEFORE they get out of control.

Do something nice for you today.

hugs

NYC_Chick

Barb - Thanks! Actually, my therapist told me last time to "sit" with myself. I can't say that I've spent too much time in quiet reflection in the past couple of weeks. I guess I thought if I let myself sit for too long the pain would come in like a flood gate and I wouldn't get through it. In some ways I think the fear of hurting is worse for me than actually letting myself hurt.

carolineb

Hey there~

Tomorrow is a new day. It's okay to feel this way. Now, if it turns into tomorrow and the next day....then you need to take action.

This is tough stuff dealing with the tornado and destruction that alcoholism wreaks on our lives. It can mess with the most level headed person.

No storm lasts forever. Remember that. Just ask for one more day....one more step.

Hugs.

Barbara52

For me, the longer I try to block emotions, the worse it is when they finally come out. I have found that sometimes this mean I react to minor problems in a huge way, end up taking out on an inappropriate target, etc.

No one wants to feel pain but trying to deny it doesn't make it go away, it only masks it temporarily (temporary can be years by BTW).

Listen to your therapist. That's what you are paying them for, their professional, dispationate advice.

NYC17

Thank you for this post NYC chick. I came to the site today because I too am having panic attacks and I needed something/anything to help me. I'm having nightmares that my GF/XGF is cheating and sleeping with someone else and doesn't think about me at all. I can't bear the thought.

NYC_Chick

NYC17 - I have been there too. That one is hard to shut off for me. I don't have any good advice for that. I don't know if this helps, but lately I've tried to think "poor girl" if he is sleeping with someone else because he's just using her for a warm body, unless he really never cared about me to begin with. If that's the case, then I guess I'm not missing much anyway.

Hang in there and try to take deep breaths in for the panic. :praying

Growing

I have this panic attack thing happening to me also. This go round in my recovery I am letting myself feel this...some days I just have to "sit" with myself like your therapist said. Other days...I know I need to get out there in the world and mix it up...so I challenge myself to do that.

I eliminated the influence of toxic relatives in my life...but I am grieving what I "thought" I had. It was in my imagination. I seriously do not have one single relative that I am comfortable with at the moment...and besides my husband and son...which they are HUGE blessings...I am alone right now...but I am making some promising connections in alanon...since I moved to our new hometown.

I feel so much better now that I am dealing with reality...but it also shows me how poorly I have treated myself and I am mourning. I am also dealing with "the empty tilled ground" in my perverbial garden...and I haven't planted any beautiful plants yet...except a nice patch of "wild flowers" that I found here at SR!!!!!

Plus...a friend here at SR pointed out to me that I am dealing with alot of emotions that were stirred up since my recent move from south to north. Everythings upside down in my heart...but I am making sense of it for the first time...and being here away from the chaos is the biggest help of all. I have a fresh, solid foundation to build on.

Ragazza Miele

NYC Chick, funny you would post this, very timely for me. I had to talk to my XAH a couple weeks ago, something about the kids. I texted him to "call me ASAP please", because he feels like since we are now divorced that we should never ever speak to each other again. While i was waiting for him to call me back I started feeling a panic attack coming on. That's what his temper & sickness can do to me, and he's in recovery!!! By the time the phone rang, I was in full blown panic attack. I bet I haven't had one in 2 or so years. Since that happened, my system has tried to go into about two more, but I've been able to stave them off, Thank God. It's such a long story, but needless to say, we're at a year anniversary that I told him I wanted out of the 24 yr marriage. I guess it's all hitting me now. It's got to be something to do with emotions and the fact that I fear him somehow because he is so verbally abusive to me when I do have to talk with him.

Shivaya

Hi NYC Chickadee (i had to add the "adee")!

There must be something in the "air", something very powerful, that reaches from California to New York, as I have been experience anxiety attacks for the last two days.

Can you sit quietly and meditate for any amount of time during your day? I've been known to go sit in the bathroom (I'm a SAHM), and meditate for a few minutes, just to calm down.

You are a strong gal, dealing with a difficult situation. Take extra special care of yourself!

Shivaya

Growing

I found this...not really spot on but the advice given helped me! Just switch alcoholic/addict with you and me.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...t-anxiety.html

hope this helps

LaTeeDa

Journaling helps me when I start to feel overwhelmed by anxiety. I try not to focus on any particular thing. Just sit down with a pen in hand and some blank pages and write as fast as I can whatever comes into my mind. I can say that nearly every time I do this, the buried fear or anger or whatever is fueling the anxiety makes itself apparent. Sometimes I have to do it more than once to really figure it out, but it really does help me.

L

appleblaster

Sometimes when we do something different its uncomfortable. You're uncovering and discovering things that you never knew before....you're handling life with a new set of tools. Your inner self-destructive voice is gonna scream and object. Let it scream like a spoiled child. Hand it over to your HP and even if you take it back 100 times it will be okay.

Your emotions do not define you. This will pass, I promise. Part of the word emotion is motion. This means even the bad feelings will pass.

Much love to you.

Mair

Ye ive had something similar and it's really scary, when i had my first episode i was shopping, came out of the shop in a panic and i was totally lost and confused. At the time i had my xab on my mind 24/7 soooo draining. it scared me enough to start sorting my life out. It's your bodies way of telling you enough is enough.

Let your emotions out having a bad day is normal it is not a step back in your recovery, and you are not letting yourself down.

Things will get better.

Mair

NYC_Chick

LTD - Thanks! I never thought to do that. I used to write "anger" letters to my dad to deal with his alcoholism, but never thought that would help with panic attacks.

NYC_Chick

Shivaya - I kind of like Chickadee. It made me smile, so thanks!

Growing

I like this and agree with it 100%. Listen to your body.

Mskattie

NYC Chick,

I feel you, I am in the same situation. For my case, my ex does not just pop up in my mind, I feel that he is always in my mind...! I also feel like I am having mini panic attacks, for me, I feel that way when I am reminding myself that the relationship is really over. I feel like I have no where to run, and probably a bit of feeling abandoned or aloneness.

I was very depressed and sad this weekend and did not do anything but stayed home and cried and pouted. I felt guilty about that. I thought I should be doing something to cope with my sadness, going out and having fun, etc. but, then, I went to my therapist this week, and she actually said to me "that was good thing you "rested", you needed that". I guess it is okay and beneficial to have my own pity parties every once in a while, and to feel and experience the emotions instead of trying to run away from them.

NYC_Chick

Hey All,

I just wanted to give you all a quick update. Today is a little better, at least so far. I went home last night and gave myself one hour to have a pity party. I was thinking this morning how I have really kept myself busy to avoid the crash. I think keeping busy is good, but not so busy that you don't remember what it's like to lay on your couch because you've been running for so long.

I have a laundry list of things that I need to get done, but I've decided to have a pity party again tonight, for the entire night. The list will have to wait until the weekend. Hopefully I don't have to work : )

Thank you all for being here for me. I appreciate the support more than I can put into words.