Therapy Anyone?????
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: In the City
Posts: 59
Therapy Anyone?????
Has anyone participated in recovery therapy for loved ones of addicts?
Was it helpful? What was good? What was bad? What would one expect? Is it expensive? Was it difficult to find a therapist you felt comfortable with? How long did you attend? How often? Any other questions I should be asking? Do you think you could have done just as well working through your situation on your own?
While I am an outgoing person, people who think they know me really don't have a clue. I carry some painful baggage from childhood and young adulthood with me which I keep buried deep inside. XABF was the only one I've ever been close enough to to talk about it and now, unfortunately, recovering from my relationship with him is my latest challenge.
My parents sent me to two psychologist visits when I was a teen. I got nothing out of it. I had nothing to say to the therapist and what I did say, the therapist told my parents. Ugh.
The anonymity of this forum makes it easy for me to share and I feel like there are so many others here who love addicts and have struggles similar to mine. I doubt I could find someone who could understand the stuggles of loving an addict as well as the amazing people who have helped me so much here.
Thoughts???? Therapy Anyone????
Was it helpful? What was good? What was bad? What would one expect? Is it expensive? Was it difficult to find a therapist you felt comfortable with? How long did you attend? How often? Any other questions I should be asking? Do you think you could have done just as well working through your situation on your own?
While I am an outgoing person, people who think they know me really don't have a clue. I carry some painful baggage from childhood and young adulthood with me which I keep buried deep inside. XABF was the only one I've ever been close enough to to talk about it and now, unfortunately, recovering from my relationship with him is my latest challenge.
My parents sent me to two psychologist visits when I was a teen. I got nothing out of it. I had nothing to say to the therapist and what I did say, the therapist told my parents. Ugh.
The anonymity of this forum makes it easy for me to share and I feel like there are so many others here who love addicts and have struggles similar to mine. I doubt I could find someone who could understand the stuggles of loving an addict as well as the amazing people who have helped me so much here.
Thoughts???? Therapy Anyone????
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: To the North
Posts: 1,086
Hi LiveLife! Well, I'm not sure if your asking for therapy for yourself, specifically recovery therapy, etc.
but, I'll share with you my experience of therapy. I have been to therapy on and off for years. I'm the type that would go with my "issues" (I knew what they were and where they came from, I knew where I was and where I wanted to be - I just couldn't seem to get there). Usually therapy cost me money as my insurance never seemed to cover it, so I went in with my agenda. For me, finding a therapist I always asked the therapist what kind of therapist they were? Meaning, are you the "well, what do you think?" kind - that's not what I was looking for. For me, if I knew what I thought, I wouldn't be there! Are you "interactive" - they would ask what I meant by that. I mean, I am here, I want to be there, I have been trying on my own and can't seem to figure it out, are you willing to give suggestions? Not tell me how, and I may not follow your advice at all, but it might help me to start thinking in a different direction so that I can get there on my own. I have always managed to find therapists I could trust, that I was comfortable with, that would help with what I was doing.
Now, years later, one of my best friends is a psychologist. He recommends that everyone interview at least 3 therapists. Therapists are people too, and just like anyone else, you're not going to "click" with everyone. He also said, if a therapist makes you feel like you have to stay with them, or they're insulted you're interviewing, or in any way shape or form making you feel any kind of pressure - WALK OUT! He said it's so hard for people seeking therapy to do this, but in no way shape or form should anyone be intimated or pressured into seeing a therapist just because you walk in the door for an initial consultation or interview.
So, that being said, hope some of those ideas are helpful to you in what you are seeking. Therapists will not be telling your parents anymore! But, make sure you take the time to find one you click with! ((((hugs))))
but, I'll share with you my experience of therapy. I have been to therapy on and off for years. I'm the type that would go with my "issues" (I knew what they were and where they came from, I knew where I was and where I wanted to be - I just couldn't seem to get there). Usually therapy cost me money as my insurance never seemed to cover it, so I went in with my agenda. For me, finding a therapist I always asked the therapist what kind of therapist they were? Meaning, are you the "well, what do you think?" kind - that's not what I was looking for. For me, if I knew what I thought, I wouldn't be there! Are you "interactive" - they would ask what I meant by that. I mean, I am here, I want to be there, I have been trying on my own and can't seem to figure it out, are you willing to give suggestions? Not tell me how, and I may not follow your advice at all, but it might help me to start thinking in a different direction so that I can get there on my own. I have always managed to find therapists I could trust, that I was comfortable with, that would help with what I was doing.
Now, years later, one of my best friends is a psychologist. He recommends that everyone interview at least 3 therapists. Therapists are people too, and just like anyone else, you're not going to "click" with everyone. He also said, if a therapist makes you feel like you have to stay with them, or they're insulted you're interviewing, or in any way shape or form making you feel any kind of pressure - WALK OUT! He said it's so hard for people seeking therapy to do this, but in no way shape or form should anyone be intimated or pressured into seeing a therapist just because you walk in the door for an initial consultation or interview.
So, that being said, hope some of those ideas are helpful to you in what you are seeking. Therapists will not be telling your parents anymore! But, make sure you take the time to find one you click with! ((((hugs))))
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
My AH and I are in Therapy right now. For his substance abuse and for my Codependancy. There is not much the Therapist can do for AH substance abuse and he told my Husband that flat out.. But our marriage has issues because of his addictions and my Codependancy so we are focusing on that.
Has it helped? It's to soon to tell. I will say this, I have gotten more out of my hour long alanon meeting then I have with the hour I spent with my therapist last week. Is it expensive? unfortunatly yes, My insurance covers it once my 500.00 deductable is met. Then it only covers 80% and only 20 visits. Is it worth it? If it will help rebuild our marriage and encourage my husband to stay sober and help me with my codie issues then I think it is worth every penny. It's to soon to tell yet though whether we will continue or not. I'm thinking alanon will help me more, just because the people in that group have walked in my shoes whereas a therapist may or may not have had a personal experiance with an addict.
My Therapist did tell my husband and myself to get ourselves into meetings immediatly. At least he is honest and straight forward.
Has it helped? It's to soon to tell. I will say this, I have gotten more out of my hour long alanon meeting then I have with the hour I spent with my therapist last week. Is it expensive? unfortunatly yes, My insurance covers it once my 500.00 deductable is met. Then it only covers 80% and only 20 visits. Is it worth it? If it will help rebuild our marriage and encourage my husband to stay sober and help me with my codie issues then I think it is worth every penny. It's to soon to tell yet though whether we will continue or not. I'm thinking alanon will help me more, just because the people in that group have walked in my shoes whereas a therapist may or may not have had a personal experiance with an addict.
My Therapist did tell my husband and myself to get ourselves into meetings immediatly. At least he is honest and straight forward.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 64
I have had good and bad expperiences in therapy. The good ones by far outway the bad. Just know that there are several different methods of therapy. Don't quit just because you don't feel comfortable with the therapist; try someone else the next time.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
Mr. Big and I went to some counselors who were absolutely wonderful. They were reknown nationally for their anger management program. The thing is, these same counselors absolutely suck at addiction stuff.
If I had to recommend any one thing, it is to find someone who's main focus IS addiction, and hopefully someone who supports 12-step programs. Then combine this therapy with ACTIVE participation in face to face 12-step meetings.
I can't imagine you would have less than some good progress.
I wish you the best.
If I had to recommend any one thing, it is to find someone who's main focus IS addiction, and hopefully someone who supports 12-step programs. Then combine this therapy with ACTIVE participation in face to face 12-step meetings.
I can't imagine you would have less than some good progress.
I wish you the best.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: dallas texas
Posts: 1,629
I have been, and continue to go as needed. I find it helpful. Especially the last one who is an addiction counselor w/ 25 years clean. He counseld both me and dad, as well as AD in treatment and when she got out. Great guy who gives me much encouragement.
susan
susan
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