Totally unmanageable life
Raised from the Dead
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Chicago
Posts: 376
Totally unmanageable life
Well, I have 2+ years of sobriety and my life is totally unmanageable. I feel like it is every bit as unmanageable as when I was out there. Only difference is, I dont drink so I endure the consequences sober. I spend money I dont have. This gets me into financial problems, which causes embarassment and concern with my family. They dont know what to do. In a lot of ways its worse for them because they know Im not drinking and drugging. So they cant figure out what the problem is and feel just as powerless and hopeless as when I was out there.
As long as I dont pick up....I have a chance to get better. Thankfully the obsession to drink has been expelled so that no longer is an option. But I have simply got to change my behavior or the results will always be the same. I am sick of letting down my family and myself. Thank God I have Alcoholics Anonymous because atleast I have a chance. 2+ years of sobriety....I should be able to pay bills by now.
As long as I dont pick up....I have a chance to get better. Thankfully the obsession to drink has been expelled so that no longer is an option. But I have simply got to change my behavior or the results will always be the same. I am sick of letting down my family and myself. Thank God I have Alcoholics Anonymous because atleast I have a chance. 2+ years of sobriety....I should be able to pay bills by now.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
Hi Chicago,
Good for you having two+ years sober.
If you are spending money you don't have, you are still acting in an addictive way. Obviously you have made good strides in your recovery, but it seems like there is still another layer, which needs to be peeled away, before you can soar.
Good for you having two+ years sober.
If you are spending money you don't have, you are still acting in an addictive way. Obviously you have made good strides in your recovery, but it seems like there is still another layer, which needs to be peeled away, before you can soar.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Chicago,
Yes, it sounds like it's time to do some deeper work. Are you in counselling or have you seen an addictions specialist? I attend relapse prevention and we discuss everything from addictive behaviour to brain chemistry to coping methods, and I just participated in a trauma recovery workshop. Both of these things, along with step work, meetings, and service work, are bringing my recovery to an entirely new level. You are wise to see your spending habits as problematic.
Yes, it sounds like it's time to do some deeper work. Are you in counselling or have you seen an addictions specialist? I attend relapse prevention and we discuss everything from addictive behaviour to brain chemistry to coping methods, and I just participated in a trauma recovery workshop. Both of these things, along with step work, meetings, and service work, are bringing my recovery to an entirely new level. You are wise to see your spending habits as problematic.
Old & Sober Member of AA
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Nursing Home in Brick, New Jersey
Posts: 5,174
Could be the alcoholism was just the tip of whatever is causing this irrational behavior...compulsive spending could be dealt with through some therapy. Something to consider?
member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 2,433
Hi Chicago,
2+ years of sobriety is amazing!! I'm sure you're family is proud? As you should be too. Anyway, you seem very concerned by your family's opinion. But how do you feel about your situation? Are you willing to change your behaviour for your own sake?
You say you "should" be paying for your own bills. When I run into a "should" in my life, I like to change it for a "want" or a"would like", as in "I really want to pay those bills". Then the task doesn't seem like a burden, it becomes a true wish.
Matt
2+ years of sobriety is amazing!! I'm sure you're family is proud? As you should be too. Anyway, you seem very concerned by your family's opinion. But how do you feel about your situation? Are you willing to change your behaviour for your own sake?
You say you "should" be paying for your own bills. When I run into a "should" in my life, I like to change it for a "want" or a"would like", as in "I really want to pay those bills". Then the task doesn't seem like a burden, it becomes a true wish.
Matt
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Here is how I live on $686 with no problems.
I live alone with no extra income.
I get paid on the 3rd by Social Security.
I immediatly cash my check at my bank
get Postal money Orders for the monthly bills.
Mail bills.
The rest I divide into 4th's
meaning that is what I spend per week.
I pay cash for everything...so I spend less.
Using next weeks money is a
or I won't eat on week 4.
It takes discipline to budget.
Cutting up my credit cards was wise for me.
I live alone with no extra income.
I get paid on the 3rd by Social Security.
I immediatly cash my check at my bank
get Postal money Orders for the monthly bills.
Mail bills.
The rest I divide into 4th's
meaning that is what I spend per week.
I pay cash for everything...so I spend less.
Using next weeks money is a
or I won't eat on week 4.
It takes discipline to budget.
Cutting up my credit cards was wise for me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: on the moon
Posts: 944
Hi.
Just to let you know I'm in the same situation, so I relate to you and understand what you're saying. Unfortunatly I don't have any advice to share at the moment.
Well done for not picking up. That's really good.
Just to let you know I'm in the same situation, so I relate to you and understand what you're saying. Unfortunatly I don't have any advice to share at the moment.
Well done for not picking up. That's really good.
God is my benzo
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Charlotte, nc
Posts: 198
Alcohol was the medicine that I took to treat my alcoholism before I found the 12 steps. There are fundemental behaviors and personality traits I have that make me an alcoholic. That being said, once the alcohol is gone, my disease goes untreated unless I work the steps daily.
If I'm not working the steps on a daily basis, my pattern is to replace the booze with another addiction. Spending money is one of my favorites, I'm battling it now.
The only thing I know how to do is to pray to have this defect removed, and then to take action. I have started making financial amends, but it will take time. I have a lot of debt. My spending has certainly gotten better. I have began trying to make a budget, even though I suck at following it.
I've kind of came full circle with my 6th and 7th steps, there are some things other than booze that I just don't have the power to handle. I realize it's silly to think god can help me stop drinking, but that's all he/she/it can do.
Don't know if this helps, mainly just lettin you know your not alone
If I'm not working the steps on a daily basis, my pattern is to replace the booze with another addiction. Spending money is one of my favorites, I'm battling it now.
The only thing I know how to do is to pray to have this defect removed, and then to take action. I have started making financial amends, but it will take time. I have a lot of debt. My spending has certainly gotten better. I have began trying to make a budget, even though I suck at following it.
I've kind of came full circle with my 6th and 7th steps, there are some things other than booze that I just don't have the power to handle. I realize it's silly to think god can help me stop drinking, but that's all he/she/it can do.
Don't know if this helps, mainly just lettin you know your not alone
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